


Calling Me Home

by selverya



Series: Of Frost and Fire [4]
Category: The Sims (Video Games)
Genre: Disability, Drug Use, Embedded Images, Ghosts, Hospitalization, Multi, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selverya/pseuds/selverya
Summary: The Ember twins were, if bitterly, victorious in stopping the ancient vampire’s plans and freeing the All from her control. But now they have other issues to deal with, between one twin being severely injured in the fight for the All, and the other dangling on the edge of a breakdown. The two face still more questions about the All, magic realm, and now, what Aine’s role in these events is. Saving the All and restoring magic nearly killed one of them. Do they dare to continue nosing around in magic realm’s surprisingly tainted history? Just where exactly is this rabbit hole of disaster and tragedy going to lead? And just how much more will be lost before the end?
Relationships: Cassandra Goth/Original Character(s), Emilia Ernest/Lilith Vatore, Morgyn Ember/Caleb Vatore, Morgyn Ember/Liberty Lee
Series: Of Frost and Fire [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824940
Comments: 8





	1. Calling Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> So… I don’t want this thing to take over my whole entire life like TMA did. I will be trying not to let it. We’ll see how that works out. I had a nice break, though. Literally slept for two days, almost in entirety, I only got up like once both days to eat, and spent the rest of the time sleeping basically. It was kind of wild. I had to be pretty exhausted to sleep that much tbh, I normally can’t sleep much at all.
> 
> Ahm, so I never did go back and add images to the stray TMA chapters that don’t have any, and tbh I don’t know if they will ever get any. Yeah. I know. I’m lame like that.
> 
> I hope everyone’s ready, because this book’s going to be a hell of a ride. This chapter also comes in basically already swinging and with a vengeance. It made me cry three times in just the first scene.
> 
> Lights; Ellie Goulding

"He's a heart patient," they'd said, almost at the same time. "And he was just electrocuted."

They didn't need to know that it was a magical lightning bolt fired by a psychotic ancient vampire. They didn't need to know that he'd dove in the way of it to stop it from reaching Morgyn. They didn't need to know that they'd teleported here and this event had only happened around five minutes ago, though it felt like six hours.

They didn't need to know that was Morgyn's heart in their hands, and if they lost him, a lot of Morgyn was going to go with him.

Within seconds, around the sound of Morgyn's crying, the brunet could hear Troi's voice, barking orders. Morgyn didn't make most of it out, because the semantics of what she said didn't matter, not to Morgyn. The brunet stayed out of the way, as someone picked Ezio up out of Morgyn's arms, set him on a stretcher, starting emergency care. It was just as well. Morgyn had to try and remember they knew what they were doing, and everything was going to be okay. There was no sense in being upset about it, but the brunet couldn't help the twisting pain in Morgyn's chest all the same.

Drake disappeared. Morgyn hardly noticed amid the flood of activity and emotions. Breathing was becoming ever more difficult an endeavour, and the brunet's face buried in shaking hands, as Morgyn backed into a wall, slid down it, and fell to the floor. Then Caleb was suddenly there, and Morgyn stood up and immediately attached to Caleb, still crying harder than the brunet had cried in a while.

" _What_?!" Troi's voice suddenly shrieked, and Morgyn separated from Caleb slightly in curiosity. "I'm gonna _kill_ that mother fucker! Get him upstairs, _now_!"

Troi moved past Morgyn and Caleb, her hand briefly resting on Morgyn's arm as she went, into the back. The sound of hushed arguing was notable, and Morgyn started listening to it mostly in curiosity. The brunet looked up at Caleb. She seemed to be having trouble with the medications she'd ordered sent out.

Caleb looked concerned, but didn't deign to explain anything, either. It was just as well.

Cassandra joined them, then Lilith. Morgyn hardly noticed they were there, and spent most of the time clinging to Caleb and crying. It felt like, eventually, Morgyn had to run out of tears, but so far, the brunet hadn't.

"I don't _care_ what you think you can and cannot authorise!" Troi's voice suddenly screeched. "I have a heart patient that just took an electrical charge and _needs_ them! You _put those orders in_ and you _do it now_ or so help me fucking god _you'll_ be in the room next to his!"

The door slammed open, and Troi hurried to the end of the hallway to take the stairs and catch the elevator as soon as they got Ezio off of it.

"Troi," Morgyn said as she went by, letting go of Caleb.

"Everything'll be just fine, Morgyn," Troi said, turning to look at the spellcaster as she went for the stairs. "It will."

Even with Morgyn's nerves twisted in a knot, something about the way she said that made the brunet feel like, maybe it _would_ be okay. Maybe everything _was_ going to be fine, and Morgyn should try not to think about it too hard.

The sage watched her go, taking the stairs two at a time. One of the lights down the hallway flickered and dimmed, and then winked out. The intercom came on, and words were spoken over the loudspeaker, but Morgyn didn't hear any of them around the anxious thundering in the sage's head.

Morgyn didn't know much, but the brunet _did_ know that if Ezio died, while saving Morgyn, that wasn't something the sage could handle. Not now. Maybe, not ever, really.

Caleb wordlessly reached over, and gently pulled Morgyn back over into his arms. "She's right," he said quietly. "Ezio's gotten through worse than this. I can't think of an examples right now, but I'm sure he has."

No, he hadn't.

But Morgyn was just scared, and the brunet knew it. It was a question of which one to do; prepare for the worst, or hope for the best, because Morgyn didn't think the sage had enough emotional range leftover right now to do both.

Somewhere between sobs and hiccups, Morgyn's grip on Caleb tightened. "Believe that for me," Morgyn said. "Please. I don't think I can right now."

Caleb didn't say anything right away, simply holding onto the brunet, rocking side to side just slightly. Morgyn found the motion comforting, and decided not to say anything. Morgyn would deal with just about anything if it made the brunet feel better about now.

The sage always knew this day was coming. That someday, Ezio would do something horribly stupid that he couldn't come back from, _probably_ in Morgyn's defence, because that was the only thing Ezio was truly stupid about. He'd always been like that, ever since they were kids. Morgyn would be the same way in return about him, if the brunet ever had the opportunity to be.

Ezio could take care of himself, though. It was always Morgyn that needed him, not the other way around. Some part of Morgyn resented that reality. That even when Ezio was the weaker of them, it was always Morgyn leaning and depending on him. Like maybe, somehow, if Morgyn needed him enough, nothing could take him away.

That wasn't how things like this were supposed to work, was it? Morgyn decided not to think about it. The sage wanted to remain ignorant of the truth, for just a little bit longer.

"We'll all believe it for you," Lilith said quietly, reaching over and resting her hand on Morgyn's shoulder. Then, she glanced over at Cassandra, the young woman hugging herself, staring in the direction they'd taken Ezio.

"Are you okay?" Lilith asked. Trust her to decide she was going to be the strong one.

"Yeah," Cassandra answered, releasing a breath and looking down wistfully at the floor. "It just didn't cross my mind how bad an idea a hospital would be, when you happen to be a necromancer."

* * *

Wordlessly, Caleb settled down on the couch next to Morgyn, handing the brunet a cup of hot cocoa. Morgyn murmured something that sounded like it was _supposed_ to be a thank you, but didn't quite make it. Caleb didn't mind it too much. It was merely distressing, that Caleb couldn't seem to help Morgyn feel much better. Then, maybe _nothing_ would make any of this better. At least, nothing short of Ezio getting better and making it through this.

Caleb had to wonder if he _would_. That was a direct hit from a _lightning bolt_ he'd taken, it wouldn't be surprising if he didn't make it through the night. He could tell, watching Lilith shuffle around nervously, Cassandra wring her hands, Drake sit and stare out the windows, they all were thinking the same thing. No one dared say a word.

Morgyn's hands were shaking too badly to handle the cup. Caleb reached up and wrapped his hands around Morgyn's, steadying the brunet's grip. It was obvious that Morgyn was trying not to completely lose it. Of course, Caleb expected that Morgyn would be losing it off and on until Ezio was home. Or for the rest of the brunet's life, if the next time Ezio came home was in an urn.

Caleb would not be saying _that_ , either.

Morgyn managed to drink some of the cocoa, and then set it down on the coffee table strewn with magazines and small fake succulent plants, with Caleb's hands keeping the brunet's steady. It'd been almost an hour already, and Dr. Williams hadn't come out to find them just yet. Caleb could only hope that the intern that was giving her problems about Ezio's medication didn't mess anything up.

One of the nurses had come out some time ago, handing them a clipboard and asking them to look it over. It was a list of the medications they knew Ezio should be taking, and wanted to make sure it was still up to date and nothing had changed.

Morgyn had answered honestly; he hadn't been on _anything_ in around a month now. The nurse looked displeased to hear that; suddenly stopping medication had a number of risks that went along with it, and they all knew that. She didn't need to tell them that, but she seemed to figure this out by looking at them. Either that, or she'd decided they didn't need that lecture right now.

Whatever her reasons were, Caleb was glad for it. Morgyn didn't need anything _else_ to feel guilty about.

"Breathe a little more," Caleb said, nudging Morgyn in the side. The brunet's breaths were shallow and rapid, which Caleb presumed was a side-effect of trying to stave off a panic attack or something. Morgyn was holding it together fairly well, at least.

"I'm trying," Morgyn answered, and then raised a hand to the brunet's chest and paid more attention to the breaths that were being drawn in.

Caleb smiled, shuffling around to kneel in front of Morgyn. "Here, try this," he said, and then breathed in, held it for a few seconds, and then released.

Morgyn copied him, and slowly, Morgyn's heart rate levelled back out, and some of the tension in the sage's body released. Good. Having Morgyn all wound up like that was starting to put _Caleb's_ nerves on edge. He was supposed to be being the calm one, not having a freak-out of his own.

Ezio had to make it. He'd made it this far, and there were so many people here that needed him. It didn't always happen, that when someone was needed, they stayed against all the odds, but Caleb sure hoped, today, just this once, maybe it would.

Even as Morgyn sat there, trying to calm down, the brunet eventually broke into tears again. Caleb stood back up, sitting next to Morgyn and letting the sage fall against him and cry. Caleb never had any intention of leaving Morgyn alone in the first place, but he definitely wasn't now. It was difficult to say for sure what Morgyn would do when left to the sage's own devices for too long right now.

"It'll be okay," Caleb said softly, hand brushing against Morgyn's hair. Caleb always loved this colour, but it was Morgyn's hair to do with as the caster wanted, and Caleb never said anything that might _suggest_ he had an opinion one way or another. Caleb loved the idiot either way.

"I'm scared," Morgyn spluttered. "He's never done anything this stupid before, I'm so scared Caleb."

Caleb wouldn't say it, but he kind of was, too. He release a breath, laying his cheek against Morgyn's hair. "I know," he said quietly. "And I wish there was something else I could say but all I have is, it'll be okay. Somehow. You know Ezio doesn't want to go any more than you want him to leave."

They could debate and wonder until the cows came home, whether it was going to be enough. All that was left, was waiting. And yes, it was hard. The waiting part was always the worst bit. But he wasn't worried about what came after that. All Caleb cared about, right now, was making sure that Morgyn made it to the end of this, wherever the end of it may be.

And then, depending, his goal would probably be making sure Morgyn made it to the end of whatever was next. Because Caleb said big words about believing Ezio would make it through this, but the reality was, he simply didn't. He'd never in a thousand years say that to Morgyn; but it was the truth.

Morgyn didn't say anything else, just hiccuped, and slid down into Caleb's lap, curling up against his leg. Caleb left it alone, idly petting Morgyn's brown waves. It was better that Morgyn kept breaking down, than the brunet try to keep it inside.

* * *

Morgyn had eventually settled down in Caleb's lap, and just cried off and on. Caleb tried not to think about it too much; mostly, this was painful for everyone involved, and Caleb was one of them.

Ezio had done a lot for all of them, meant a lot to all of them. It was almost correct to call him the glue that kept them together. He certainly was the common denominator that had united them all.

Finally, Troi came over to them, and stood beside Morgyn, brushing several of her braids back over her shoulder. Morgyn sat up, and then stood. "How is he?" Morgyn asked. Caleb stood up, too.

Troi smiled, but the sadness was apparent. "He's alive," she answered, "and for now, he's stable."

Morgyn breathed out, and then frowned. "What's the but?" Morgyn asked.

"I can't promise," Troi answered, "that he will _remain_ stable. The combination of not being on his medications for so long, paired with taking an electrical charge of that particular strength, it's messed up his heart's rhythm more than it already was. I should think even if he does pull through _this_ , it doesn't mean things will stay smooth sailing from here."

Morgyn frowned, the tears almost starting to fall all over again, and then the brunet's head shook. Morgyn's hands raised, wiping away the tears and the tear tracks, before looking back up at Troi.

"What kind of outcomes are we looking at?" Morgyn asked.

Troi was quiet a moment. Caleb reached over and took Morgyn's hand. The brunet leaned against him.

"Best case scenario, he recovers and his heart's internal charge starts to level out, and his heart begins to beat right again mostly on its own," Troi said. "But this could also be the turning point. The stage where his heart starts to truly give up and quit. In that case, its strength would deteriorate at a very rapid pace, his collapses would become more frequent. He'd probably have to stay in a facility equipped to take care of his heart. Most likely, he wouldn't make it to the end of the year."

Morgyn was quiet a moment, and then loosed a loud breath, one hand raising like Morgyn was trying to hold the tears back, and maybe the sage was. It was no wonder Morgyn didn't take that very well. Caleb certainly didn't expect the brunet to have, and clearly, Troi didn't expect it, either.

"Hey," Troi said, "I know it's hard to think about, but I promise you, we're going to do everything we can. Stay around. Close by. I've seen loved ones' presence do miracles. Don't give up yet, but, don't get your hopes up too high, either. That's just worst case scenario, of course."

Caleb almost resented her for saying it at all, but Morgyn had asked, and deserved the full scope of possibilities. All the same, he reached out and pulled Morgyn against him.

"I have him getting the levels of his every day medications back to normal, along with some other things to help his heart charge stay steady," Troi said, looking at Caleb instead. "Whenever it is he wakes up, he's liable to be high as the sky, and not make a lot of sense at first. I'll lower his varying dosages when his regular medications start to work again, and we'll go from there, kind of play it by ear."

Caleb nodded. "That sounds like the better idea."

"I've got to get back to work, okay?" Troi said. "It'll work out. I'm not giving up on him yet, and I'll stay in touch." She turned then, and headed down the hallway. Caleb could tell she needed to deal with her own emotions, but it wasn't surprising. Ezio and Troi were friends with each other, of course.

Caleb didn't envy doctors in the least. Especially not her. He couldn't imagine someone's life resting on his shoulders. He could barely handle his own half the time.

This time, Morgyn's crying was almost completely silent, but Caleb could feel the brunet shaking against him for what felt like the thousandth time today. Part of him wanted to hide from the whole world, and another part of him wanted to scream and cry and rage at everything, for letting things turn out this way, for making Morgyn live through this, for hurting Ezio this much.

It wasn't that life was biased. Bad things happened to everyone, and at around the same rate overall. It just felt, right now, like something was out to ruin their lives in particular.

"Do you want anything, or would you rather just cry for a minute?" Caleb asked.

"Just hold me," Morgyn answered around the sobs, in a small voice. "I hate this."

Caleb couldn't say he was terribly fond of it, either. Of course, this wasn't really _about_ him, not now. He could deal with his errant emotions some other time, when Morgyn didn't desperately need someone to break apart on. He could handle this. He'd been doing quite well so far.

Maybe he'd fall apart on Lilith. With Lilith? Lilith loved Ezio, too. They all did. He wondered how Drake and Cassandra were holding up. If they were doing better than Morgyn was. They'd gone off somewhere to find something for the mortals present to eat. Lilith would probably corner someone in the bathroom later, which meant Caleb and Drake were on their own with plasma fruit smoothies.

They usually were.

"Come on," Caleb said, gently nudging Morgyn back over to the couch. "At least get off your feet, you can lay back down in my lap."

Morgyn whined softly, but shuffled that way. Caleb settled down next to the brunet, and Morgyn fell over into his lap unceremoniously.

"I have to tell Drake this," Morgyn said, after a few moments.

Caleb rested a hand against Morgyn's back. "I can tell him, if you want."

"No," Morgyn answered. "I can do it. Maybe along the way, I'll figure out this isn't a dream."

* * *

Morgyn had gone quiet in Caleb's lap for a while. Caleb had one arm draped over the caster, deciding to leave Morgyn to the brunet's silence, if that was what Morgyn wanted right now, and it seemed that way.

Caleb watched the sun fall behind the other buildings around them, the sky streaking with shades of orange and pink and purple. Sunset wasn't Caleb's _favourite_ ; that was dawn. But he could appreciate the unique colours that the sky turned when the sun sank below the horizon.

As he stared out the window, Cassandra and Drake came up to them.

"I wasn't sure what you'd like," Cassandra said, looking down at Morgyn, "so I got some fries, chicken, and a small salad."

"That's fine, thank you," Morgyn answered, sitting upright. Cassandra handed the brunet a bag, and Morgyn took it, reaching in and munching on a fry. Almost immediately, Morgyn looked a little green, but the sage finished the fry and then set the bag down on the table.

"Troi came while you two were gone," Morgyn said softly.

"How is he doing?" Drake asked, sitting down.

Morgyn was quiet a moment, then drew a breath in. "He's stable, and alive," Morgyn answered. "But the lack of his medications and the lightning bolt's strength combined messed up his heart's charge worse than it already was. Even if he survives this part, the combination may be enough to cause his heart to finally quit."

Drake and Cassandra went silent, both digesting that in their own way. Cassandra moved slightly, sitting down too, setting her own bag down on the coffee table. None of them said anything, for a long moment, but maybe there wasn't anything _to_ say.

"How long would he have?" Drake asked.

Morgyn shrugged. "Troi doesn't think he'd make it to the end of the year."

Drake released a breath. "That's so soon."

It was almost summer. They had a handful of months left before the end of the year, and if Ezio wasn't going to make it to the end of the year, then he could be gone in a very short period of time. Caleb didn't like thinking about it either.

"He should've let the fucking bolt hit me," Morgyn said quietly.

"No Morgyn," Caleb said. "We all know he would've died before that bolt got you. She's doing the best she can, of course. And she doesn't want us to give up on him just yet. I think he can make it."

No, he didn't.

"Yeah," Drake said. "Of course he can."

He was saying that for Cassandra's benefit.

"Of course," Cassandra agreed, nodding her head.

She was saying that so that Drake didn't feel bad.

Morgyn smiled, though the expression didn't reach the sage's green eyes at all. "Someone's got to be around to tell me I'm being an idiot," the brunet said.

The sage knew it didn't work that way.

What a sad bunch they were.

"I'm staying here," Morgyn said, reaching down and taking another fry, working through eating it. "Troi said she thinks we should stay nearby, sometimes loved ones being around does miracles, so I'm not going home I think."

"I won't, either," Drake decided.

Caleb glanced over at Cassandra. Lilith had already run off to the gym nearby; that was how she dealt with strong emotions. Cassandra looked over at Caleb.

"Okay," Caleb said, "I guess we're all staying here then." That was just as well. Caleb wasn't interested in going back to an empty apartment as large as Spire Apartments was. Besides, Morgyn needed him, and that was all the justification for staying Caleb needed.

Cassandra leaned over, picking her purse up off the floor, and then handed Caleb a wad of money. "There's a hotel not far from here," she said. "You and Morgyn can get a room, to make sure the dork gets some sleep."

"I'm not the _only_ human here," Morgyn protested.

"Oh," Cassandra said, her dark eyes glancing up at the ceiling. "I guess you're not."

Caleb always did wonder how she forgot that so frequently, but she seemed to operate on a wavelength that wasn't quite the same as everyone else's. He'd noticed that about her a long time ago. It wasn't surprising, given how eccentric her family was.

"Do you want to go now?" Caleb asked.

Morgyn reached over and plucked another French fry from the bag, and then stood up. "Yeah," Morgyn said. "Before it gets dark, in case they run out of rooms or something. Two beds should be enough?" Morgyn asked, looking at Cassandra.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'll just get some sleep tomorrow, I don't think I can sleep tonight, but you should definitely try to sleep tonight."

Morgyn's head shook. "So should you," the brunet said. "But I won't push it. You're old enough to decide if you want to ruin your own life or not."

Cassandra snorted. "This is what coffee was invented for," she said.

Morgyn stood up, taking Caleb's hand, and the two of them headed out the door to go find this hotel Cassandra was talking about.

Cassandra slid down in her seat, watching the wall. Drake shifted around a little, staring out the windows. They sat in silence for a long moment, and then Cassandra stood up, shuffled over to stand beside Drake, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

And she stayed there, because Drake was so good at hiding his pain, but she knew it in a way no one else did.

* * *

They'd come back around an hour later. Morgyn had washed all of the brunet's makeup off in the interim, and Caleb had a couple plasma fruit smoothies. He handed one to Drake wordlessly. If nothing else, they'd all used a lot of energy in the fight with Sarnai, and it was easy to forget that amid the craziness and excitement.

Cassandra gave them both a little smile, and then looked over at Morgyn. "Troi came back," she said. "Ezio's stable enough, she's letting us in to see him."

Morgyn looked up at Caleb, but then stood up and headed for the room they knew was his. Cassandra followed, pausing outside the door to run her fingers over the nameplate at the side of it with Ember printed on it. He was an Ember, wasn't he? No matter how bad things turned out, he always seemed to find a way to just keep burning.

Cassandra looked away from it, smiling softly as Morgyn took Ezio's hand, and settled down beside him. Morgyn was saying something, but Cassandra couldn't hear it from the doorway. It didn't matter. Those words weren't hers to hear.

Drake had already been in to see him. Cassandra had decided to wait, because intruding seemed like a bad thing. Of course, she also felt like she was intruding now. She was trying not to think about it too terribly much.

Morgyn laid down on Ezio's hand. And slowly but surely, the brunet fell asleep right there. Cassandra had a feeling Morgyn was more tired than the sage was letting on. Maybe right here, next to Ezio, was the only place Morgyn could relax right now. Cassandra couldn't say she didn't understand it. She felt the same way, really.

Quietly, she shuffled over to the other side, settling down beside him, too. There were wires and tubes all over the place, and she had to be careful not to catch his IV drip line on the way.

She didn't like seeing him this way, but she didn't like not seeing him at all even more. The heart monitor beeped softly and rhythmically, almost enough to be calming. No wonder Morgyn fell asleep so quickly, listening to the soft beeping telling everyone in the room Ezio was very much still alive. Cassandra might be able to fall asleep to it, too.

Her hands raised, gently resting on Ezio's arm. For a moment, she just watched him breathe, listened to the beeping, felt the warmth of his arm. It was comforting. He really was still alive.

"I didn't expect this to be easy," she said softly. "But I didn't expect it to be so hard, either. I won't tell you that you shouldn't have done it. If I was you, if it was me and Alexander, I wonder, would I have done the same thing? I don't know." And of course, it was all hypothetical, and didn't matter, anyway.

Cassandra had never seen a love so deep as the one Ezio had for Morgyn.

She settled down a little, one hand taking his, lacing their fingers together. "You're a strong person Ezio," she said. "But I think sometimes, you forget you're not invincible. I wish you'd remember more. I wish you wouldn't do things like this without thinking twice about it, and all the same I understand why you do them. Ezio, Morgyn can't lose you, and definitely can't lose you _that_ way. I don't think Morgyn would ever stop shouldering the blame for it, if you died this way. Saving Morgyn from something."

And Cassandra was afraid that, if Ezio died that way, Morgyn wouldn't ever be able to love someone that much again, might even push Caleb away, for fear of the same thing happening all over again. Because the loss and the hurt was just too strong.

She sat in silence, for a time, only the sound of the beeping and Ezio's soft breaths (and Morgyn's) breaking that silence up. Cassandra didn't mind the silence so much. Sometimes, it was uncomfortable, but Cassandra had come to enjoy the ability to think by herself. Maybe she'd call her parents, later, and tell them that she loved them.

Everything in life seemed so fleeting and temporary. It was best to hang onto what you could when and for as long as you could.

"I always let things with you be what they wanted, and in their own time," she said. "It worked out better that way, and with you it never felt like I had to be someone I wasn't. You never held my silly mistakes against me, the odd way I phrase things sometimes. It was like you understood me, without me ever having to say a word. I wonder now, if maybe that was exactly what you did. I used to dream of you, all the time. And now I have to wonder if maybe I was drawn to you for a reason. If there's something that I'm here for, or you are."

She didn't know. Truth be told, most of the time, Cassandra was afraid to think about it too much, to ask too many questions, lest the universe change its mind and take him away from her. And it was in that moment that Cassandra realised, at some point, she'd become afraid to lose him.

Cassandra had never been afraid to lose anyone or anything in her life, and she wasn't quite certain what to do with the feeling. Ah, no. Now she understood, that thing that Ezio had said to her, only a few months ago, though now it felt like it was a lifetime ago, and she and Ezio had been different people then. In a way, maybe they had been.

So many things had changed, since then. And so few things, too.

"Ezio," she said, reaching over and brushing her fingers against his cheek. "Do you remember, what you asked me, out in the Arts Quarter, when you told me that I'm likely a caster because it runs in my family? You asked me what I wanted, more than anything in the world."

Her dark eyes fell, staring at their joined hands. "I finally know, now," she said quietly. "I know what I want. Ezio, you have to come back from this. You said you wanted to know the answer, if I ever found one. I need to tell you that what I want is you."


	2. Running Out of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeeaaaaahhhh… unfortunately this really isn’t going to get much better for at least a few more chapters. I think maybe 70? would be where it starts to alleviate a little, and I wanna pre-emptively apologise for 68 (this is 66). LOL
> 
> I did the math and I was going to release a chapter once a week, and then do other stuff the rest of the time, but like. I wouldn’t get done until next fucking June and I can’t with that. So maybe every other day? Yeah. Idk. I still don’t know how many chapters CMH is going to be but looking at the rough outline, still thinking around 40. There’s a LOT to get through, yeah.
> 
> In other news, my Instagram is lespritdemort and I’m on Tumblr under the same name, feel free to hmu over there, I post random shet on both but mostly Sims related. My Insta is 100% Sims-related but my Tumblr’s not really a Simblr it’s more of an IpostwhateverthefuckIwannablr, so yeah.
> 
> I’d apologise for cussing so much but ykw I’m 30, I think it’s a bit late to be doing that. xD Also, listen, I’m kind of upset that I put off doing Drake’s pov, and then I did it, and he hurt me. But Idk what else I was expecting. I mean.
> 
> Hello; Adele

Some time ago by now, she'd decided she wasn't terribly fond of how bright the lights were in hospitals. Cassandra had been fortunate enough thus far to never need to be in one. Anymore, she envied her younger self never needing to be in a hospital. She wished she hadn't needed to be in this one right now, but Ezio was still recovering, and would likely be for a while yet.

Cassandra flipped between being restless and being too still. They'd only been here a couple days now, but she'd ended up in something of a cycle. She'd spend an entire day pacing around incessantly, and then the next day she'd sit on the couch, and not move for hours at a time, move long enough to get something to drink, eat, or to use the bathroom, and then go right back to not moving. Morgyn said it was starting to become rather weird, but everything about Cassandra Goth was weird.

She hoped, someday, that may be everything about Cassandra _Ember_ was weird.

Today, she paced up and down the hallways, turning down other hallways at complete random, not truly caring where she went. If anything happened with Ezio, she'd know, because Drake would come find her, or Morgyn would. If nothing else, Morgyn's _screaming_ happened to be rather loud, and Cassandra suspected if Ezio died, it'd be heard for miles around.

As she walked, someone fell into step beside her. Cassandra didn't need to glance over to know that it was Ezio, pacing along beside her.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said. "Morgyn had about a thousand questions."

Cassandra looked over at him. Morgyn always had about a thousand questions. Ezio hadn't even changed out of what the hospital had put him in. "I wasn't here very long," she said. "And anyway, it's not like we agreed on a time to meet up or anything."

"You don't remember?" he asked, tilting his head.

Cassandra shook hers. "Setting a time? Nope," she answered. The last time they'd spoken was... come to think of it, she couldn't recall now. Obviously, it was definitely sometime before Sarnai, but Sarnai seemed so very long ago.

Ezio smiled, that soft, quiet expression he only ever made for her. He had a different one, for Drake. "You don't have to remember, at least," he said. "What are you pacing around for?"

Because she was pacing around? Then, she remembered, she was having trouble with the ghosts. Truth be told, Cassandra had no earthly idea how Ezio could handle this day in and day out. It wasn't even to say that he spent less time in hospitals than she did. He spent _more_ most likely.

"I'm just having trouble with the ghosts," she said. "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?" he asked.

"Tell them apart from the living," Cassandra answered. "They look... much the same." Ezio had told her once, that her inability to tell the two apart was directly related to how strong a necromancer she was. She, like he did, saw them very clearly, so clearly, they were visually indistinguishable.

"I had trouble with that at first, too," Ezio said. "But it's actually quite simple. Do you remember, when I was teaching you how to sense them? There were a few reasons to that madness. Emotions emit an energy, and that energy is normally contained by your body. When you're a ghost, there's no barrier between that energy and everything else. Ghosts leak it constantly, as a side effect. When you're looking at one, you'll always _feel_ something, even if it's weak. And that's how you know."

Cassandra raised an eyebrow, thinking about that. Come to think of it, she'd gotten things like that off a number of them, but not others. Obviously, it wouldn't work with a human. Then, she looked over at Ezio, and then her eyebrows furrowed together.

"Ezio," she said, "I can kind of feel something from you."

Ezio stopped, turning to look at her, and smiled again. The look in his eyes, it made something go off in her head. No. Not him. She shook her head, backing away, and then turned for the stairs that led to his room.

"Cassandra," he called after her, "it's okay."

"No it isn't!" she answered, and ran up the stairs. She didn't even feel her foot hit the first step before her arm jerked off the bed and she fell right off. Cassandra bolted upright, catching herself from falling to the floor, and then she stopped, standing up and holding a hand out, hovering near Ezio's much longer than usual hair.

Her head turned up, eyes watching the heart monitor, breath coming in rapid, frantic bursts. Then, her breathing evened out. The monitor was beeping softly in its usual rhythm. Ezio was still breathing. He wasn't a ghost just yet. It was a dream.

Cassandra closed her eyes, releasing a breath, her hand gently dropping onto Ezio's hair. It was all a dream.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked, and Cassandra jumped and turned around. Drake was in a chair not far, his notebook in his lap. He still had to do his job, of course, so he'd brought his work to the hospital, instead of leaving. If Cassandra had work to do that wasn't as messy as painting, she'd do the same, probably.

"Yeah," she answered, breathing out.

"Nightmare?" Drake asked.

Cassandra nodded, detaching some of the wires she'd incidentally tangled herself in from her, before sitting back down. Her hand took one of Ezio's. Sometimes, her dreams, even her nightmares, came true. She was afraid this was one of them that would.

"How are you holding up?" Cassandra asked, looking over at him.

He seemed surprised, looking up at her, but then shrugged a shoulder. "I'm fine," he answered.

Cassandra released a sigh. "No, you're not," she said. "But I won't push. If you ever decide you want someone to talk to, though, I'm always here." It wasn't like she had anything better to be doing. And besides, she'd learnt this much from watching Drake and Ezio; for a very, _very_ long time, they were all they had. And it showed, at least in Drake's mannerisms. He didn't really have anyone else to turn to, when Ezio wasn't there anymore.

Cassandra wasn't silly enough to think that she could replace either one.

Drake didn't answer. Instead, he turned back down to his notebook, and the sound of a pen scratching against paper filled the room. It mingled very well with the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor, the sound of Ezio's soft puffs of breath.

She felt about useless in this mess, not able to help Drake _or_ Ezio, but then, Morgyn didn't seem to be able to help, either. Maybe no one and nothing could. Maybe this was doomed from the start to turn out terribly. Things didn't like to go well, it'd seem.

"You don't think..." Cassandra started, "Ezio is going to..." She couldn't make herself say it, even hypothetically. The mere idea that it was a possibility was almost too much for her to deal with. She couldn't imagine losing him already, but these things never were very fair.

"I don't know," Drake answered, not looking up. "And to be honest, I hope I never do. But I do know that for 244 years, he was mine. I guess that'll have to be enough."

* * *

They hadn't been here very long, but all the same, it felt like it'd been far too long. Ezio was still breathing, his heart was still beating, if occasionally somewhat weakly, and by all means, Morgyn should be pleased with that. Right now, it didn't feel like enough.

Morgyn sat on the back stairs, outside the hospital in the breeze, listening to the birds chirp, and smoking a joint. Quite some time ago, Morgyn had gotten a medical marijuana card. Was it legit? It was legit enough to keep the doctors and nurses off the brunet's ass about getting high behind the hospital, and that was good enough.

Somewhere between the first and second half of the joint in Morgyn's hand, Caleb shuffled outside, sitting down beside Morgyn. Neither said anything at first, Morgyn playing with the smoke, Caleb watching.

"Is that a good idea?" Caleb asked. "Drugs can really mess with your head."

That was part of the point. Morgyn just took another drag, and shrugged one shoulder. "It keeps me from being a total wreck, and helps me sleep. The benefits outweigh the risks on this one, I should think." Then, Morgyn always felt that way with marijuana. There were occasional problems from its use, but the benefits of it were too great to ignore, particularly with someone like Morgyn.

And it was better that Morgyn was _high_ , than drunk. Nobody liked drunk Morgyn. Drunk Morgyn was a slutty bitch. Morgyn got the strange feeling dragging a medical intern into a closet for an hour or so would be quite terrible for the brunet's engagement status, and, thank you very much, Morgyn was quite happy with the current status and had no interest in changing it.

"How long have you been doing that stuff, anyway?" Caleb asked, nodding at the joint.

"Maybe a few decades by now," Morgyn answered. "Kind of started it on accident, probably way back in the sixties somewhere. I'm not on it enough to be considered a _stoner_ if that's what you're worried about."

Caleb shook his head. "Not worried about that," he said. "I just... didn't know."

It wasn't like Morgyn broadcast it or anything, so of course he didn't know. Morgyn much preferred it that way, too. Morgyn might be a lot more extroverted than Ezio ever was, but Morgyn dealt with things alone sometimes, too. It was better than trying to explain these kinds of things and end up making it sound worse than it was, or like something it wasn't.

And Caleb, Morgyn was never entirely sure how he'd take the stray drug habit. Granted, Morgyn got high maybe once every few months or so (compared to the drinking habit, the drug habit was barely even there), but people took things in weird ways sometimes.

"Please tell me," Morgyn said, taking another drag, "you're not one of those people that hates drug use of any kind."

Caleb loosed a loud snort. "Do you remember, when we broke up?" he asked, looking over at Morgyn. "I was on synthetic cannabinoids."

Oh. Morgyn's head tilted to one side. "I see," the brunet said. "Well, that explains some shit." It explained a number of things. He must've incidentally quit while he was taking care of Lilith. But that made sense, too, Lilith needed him at the time, and certainly that was more important.

"You're not mad?" Caleb asked.

Morgyn loosed a snort. "I'm _high_ , Caleb," Morgyn answered. "I don't think I'm capable of getting mad when I'm high. But you know, I could've just shared the real stuff with you. Much less damaging."

"I didn't even know you did marijuana," Caleb answered.

"Well, now you do I guess," Morgyn said, taking another drag and releasing a breath with the smoke. They were quiet for a long moment, and then Morgyn looked down at the concrete.

"He's not going to make it out of this, is he," Morgyn said, and though it was worded like a question, it wasn't toned that way.

Caleb reached over, taking Morgyn's hand. "I think he can," Caleb said.

"You keep saying that," Morgyn said, looking up at the fence. "But I can see it in your eyes. You don't really believe that. No one does, and we're all just saying it so we don't all lose our shit at once."

Caleb frowned, but he didn't argue with that assessment, either. Because Morgyn was right, and everyone knew it, if they bothered to stop trying to run from it for a few moments. Of course, it was easier to pretend it wasn't happening and run away from it, but the easy thing, most often, wasn't the _right_ thing and unfortunately, they all knew that, too.

"Maybe," Caleb answered. "But maybe in being positive about it, it'll make miracles happen."

"Cause he sure as fuck needs one of those," Morgyn answered. "If he doesn't make it, I think I'll go back to magic realm, and stay there." Ezio was the reason Morgyn came out here. He always was. And without him, there was no reason to be here.

"I don't think Ezio would really want that for you," Caleb said, his tone soft and delicate.

"No," Morgyn answered. "I don't think he would either. But he'd be gone and what he wants wouldn't really matter anymore."

* * *

Caleb wasn't so weird about touching Morgyn anymore. It was just as well. Morgyn hadn't gotten drunk and made money in a while, and quite truthfully, after that mess Liberty had interrupted, the brunet didn't think it'd ever happen again. Morgyn didn't think the brunet was capable of doing it again after that, and maybe that wasn't surprising.

Summer was just around the corner, and temperatures were notably raising. It was probably the only reason the brunet could stand lying next to Caleb, not a damn scrap of fabric on either of them, because normally, Morgyn got cold relatively easily. Idly, Caleb's fingers ran gently up and down Morgyn's side.

Cassandra had gone home to see her parents, so there wasn't any hurry to get up and do anything. Morgyn had about a thousand things to do before the end of term, but the brunet could give not one single iota of a fuck about any of those things right now. Simeon was busy because Lana was pregnant, and L had lost her magic, so who even knew how magic realm was doing. Morgyn hadn't gone back since they'd freed the All.

Morgyn wasn't on very good internal terms with magic realm, just now.

"Do you need to go anywhere?" Morgyn asked, watching the sunlight start to filter through the blinds. If Caleb had somewhere to be, then maybe Morgyn could get up a bit faster. The brunet had slept like a rock, between getting high as the sky, and ending up in Caleb's arms half the night. Morgyn had ended up in his lap this time, instead of under him. It worked out a lot better that way, the brunet had frozen up a lot less frequently, and Caleb seemed to enjoy the easy access to Morgyn's butt.

It came from all those fucking _stairs_ in magic realm, Morgyn swore it.

"No," Caleb answered softly. "I was going to check in on Lilith, at least, make sure she's doing okay, but she's probably back in Forgotten Hollow doing queenly things."

"Queenly things?" Morgyn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Elle and Inna decided she's queen of Forgotten Hollow," Caleb answered, his eyes rolling. "Can't say why, Lilith mostly ignores it, but it has a nice ring to it I guess."

Whatever made them happy, or something. "Sorry about last night," Morgyn said.

"Why?" Caleb asked, looking over at the brunet.

"I fell asleep on you right after," Morgyn answered. "Must've been pretty boring for you."

"Not at all," Caleb answered. "I'm just glad you got longer than an hour or two of sleep. I kind of drifted in and out of myself. Still sort of recovering from the fight with Sarnai."

Yeah, Morgyn supposed he might be. The sage didn't really think about it, preferred not to, more like. There was too much going on right now, too much for Morgyn to process at once. The brunet had at least managed to get switched onto online classes, and running into either of the attackers from that night Morgyn liked to forget had ever happened was slim to nil.

Morgyn still hadn't told anyone about it. Simeon and L had guessed as much, and Morgyn thought Caleb had, too, but of course they did. They all knew the brunet too well not to. None of them had asked. Caleb hadn't even asked for confirmation to speak of, and Morgyn wasn't sure how to take that one.

Did he just not want to know? Or was it worse than that? Caleb had issues with Morgyn's job before, it wasn't too strange to think that he'd have a problem with that. But it wasn't like Morgyn had _chosen_ that, it wasn't the same thing, was it?

Maybe it was. Morgyn was a two hundred year old master of destruction, for fucks' sake, the brunet should've been able to handle that. But no. Morgyn had needed _Liberty_ to do it, instead. How pathetic.

Of course, Morgyn didn't ask, didn't say anything. If Caleb wasn't going to bring it up, then, maybe Morgyn shouldn't, either. Things were peaceful now, and if one more thing went wrong, well, maybe Morgyn wouldn't be able to handle that. Especially not when the thing that went wrong would likely be the brunet's relationship with Caleb, and Morgyn needed him now more than ever before.

"Even if Ezio survives this," Morgyn said softly, "I don't think this'll be the end of it. And maybe it won't be the last time Ezio does something this stupid."

Caleb released a breath. "Maybe not," he answered. "Unless this leaves Ezio more disabled than he was before, I guess."

If things were worse, after this, Morgyn wasn't sure that was the kind of life the brunet wanted him to live. And that, too, was Morgyn's fault. That it was either dying, or not really getting a life at all. Because if Morgyn had just _listened_ to him, if the brunet hadn't blocked out everything that spoke against Aine at all, would things have progressed this far?

Couldn't _something_ have been done for him long before it came to this? Even if nothing Morgyn did stopped it from happening in the first place, there had to be _something_ they could've done about it. Maybe Morgyn just wanted someone to blame and why not, it wasn't like literally everything _else_ wasn't Morgyn's fault, but it felt like there were answers that were there, if Morgyn hadn't denied there was a problem in the first place.

And that, too, only Liberty knew. Because Morgyn couldn't find the words, couldn't manage saying them. It made it more real, harder to deny. It was interesting, being incapable of letting it go and also trying so hard to deny it all at once.

Well, that was a very Morgyn-reaction, wasn't it?

Quietly, Morgyn hummed a song, the hand resting on Caleb's chest idly tracing random patterns on his skin. It was something else to think about, sitting here with him, than better than pacing around incessantly in the hospital. It took some work to get Morgyn to leave Ezio in the first place, but it wasn't like staying there was going to make Ezio suddenly wake up and be okay.

"You know," Caleb said quietly, "you've got a beautiful voice."

Morgyn blinked, head tilting back to look up at him, the song cutting off. "No I don't," Morgyn said. "But thank you anyway."

"No, I mean it," Caleb said. "I always thought that. If you ever got into music, I bet you'd be good at it."

Morgyn snorted. "That's your thing, not mine," Morgyn answered. "This is for _church_. It's a miracle I can even hold a tune at all. I've not got the talent for music you do."

"Singing is and isn't a musical talent," Caleb said. "And anyone can be good at it with enough practise. You've at least got the way with _people_ , Morgyn, wow you could charm half the world if someone gave you a stage for long enough."

Morgyn's head shook. "Maybe," Morgyn allowed. But it didn't matter right this second. It wasn't like Morgyn was going to _do_ anything with it.

And then, Morgyn realised, Caleb had just roundabout suggested a job that wasn't prostitution. Morgyn blinked, and then sat up to look at him in something like bewilderment.

"What?" Caleb asked, tilting his head.

Nothing... everything. Morgyn didn't really know. That was exactly what Morgyn had always hoped he'd do, though the brunet didn't realise it until Liberty did it first, but it'd still happened, and Morgyn wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Caleb asked. "Here." Caleb reached over to the side table, grabbing his phone and tapping on it. Then, he sat up, setting his phone down on the bed and started tapping it; the sounds of a piano came out of it when each tap. Morgyn recognised the song, at least.

"Try it," Caleb said. "You know this one."

Yeah, Morgyn did know this one. Morgyn didn't look so sure about it, but as Caleb kept playing, eventually, Morgyn started singing the lyrics.

"But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness, like a heartbeat, drives you mad..."

* * *

"There you are," L's voice carried over the slight din of the hospital, as she made her way over to Morgyn with her arms already out. "Come here."

Morgyn hardly had a choice with that one, as the moment the brunet turned around, L was hugging the younger sage. Not that Morgyn really minded it. She did give the best hugs.

"I brought chocolate," L said, handing Morgyn a stack of chocolate bars (some of them had caramel in). "I just got a variety, you can share with Cassandra. So? How is he doing?"

Morgyn blinked, and then glanced down at the floor.

"I'm sorry Morgyn," L said.

"It is what it is," Morgyn said, looking up at her. "He knew what he was doing when he did it. And he is still alive, at least. He may still pull through this."

Morgyn still didn't truly believe it, but it was easier to believe it than it was to mope around and be sad. Nothing ever really got done that way, anyway.

"I think he definitely can," L said, "as long as you believe in it. He can do a lot of things for you, you know."

It definitely seemed that way, didn't it? Morgyn tried not to think about it too hard. Maybe there was a magic to it, of some kind. Most of magic was just believing in something hard enough, or at least it seemed that way. There was a science behind it too, the same way there was a science behind why Morgyn couldn't just magic Ezio better.

Things like this, they were more delicate than just fixing whatever it is. Morgyn had a habit, as a younger, less skilled caster, of getting killed through magical mishap, and these were easy enough to fix. Ezio had even mastered the damned potion to do it with, and they had stock on-hand for when Morgyn had done something stupid again. Sometimes, Ezio needed to use that stock, too. Far less frequently, to be sure.

But this was different. Ezio's body was failing, rather than it being an accident. You undo the accident, then there was no more death. The body kept going. But when it was the body itself that was the problem, that was trickier to fix. Sure, Morgyn could just kill Ezio now and then use a potion to bring him back.

He'd be alive; and he'd still be dying. Because it would fix the being dead part, but not necessarily the reasons why. With things like old age, you'd get maybe another day or two, and then they'd be gone again, and it was questionable if it was even worth it.

Theoretically, one could find another body to put him in, but that got into necromancy territory, and for whatever reason, Ezio was always adamant that wasn't a solution, even a temporary one. If Morgyn was a necromancer too, it'd be about now that the brunet was experimenting with _Duplicato_ to see if it was possible to house him in one of Morgyn's copies. Admittedly they were _temporary_ , but Morgyn had made them last for an _impressive_ amount of time before. Surely making them permanent wasn't that far off.

Morgyn decided not to say any of that. Instead, the brunet just wordlessly held out the hand that had the engagement ring on it.

L looked confused for a moment, but then looked down at it and gasped. "Oh, wait Morgyn," she said. "Is this...? Are you and Caleb finally...?"

Morgyn nodded.

L screamed quietly under her breath. "Oh my god, is this morganite?"

Morgyn snorted. "Of course it is," the brunet answered. "Morganite and diamond, he said."

"Oh wow," L said, reaching over to get a better look at the ring. "It's beautiful," she said.

"Yeah," Morgyn answered. "I think it's the only pink coloured thing I've ever liked in my life." Don't tell Caleb that, but Morgyn didn't terribly care for pink. This was different. This was _way_ very much different.

"It looks good on you," L said, winking. "When's the wedding? Are you just figuring that out later?"

"We haven't really had the time to talk about it, yeah," Morgyn answered. "But if you'd be willing, I'd be very happy if you'd be my maid of honour."

"Oh honey," L said, "of _course_ I will! I'd be happy to."

Morgyn smiled, and then the expression dropped, along with Morgyn's eyes, which cast to the floor. "And, if Ezio doesn't make it," Morgyn said, "I'd like you to give me away, too."

L fell quiet. Then, she reached up and tilted Morgyn's head up to look at her. "I would be honoured to do that, too," she said. "But Ezio's going to make it."

Morgyn smiled slightly, and didn't argue. L was clairvoyant, from time to time. Usually not _directly_ , but she had the gift at least, and sometimes what she said came true. Maybe Morgyn just needed to believe in L.

"L," Morgyn started, "there's another problem that I think maybe only you can help me with."

"What's that?" L asked.

"Some things about magic realm and the All aren't adding up," Morgyn said.

L loosed a derisive snort. "I'm quite sure they're not."

"I won't ask you to give me the answers," Morgyn said. "That's certainly not your style. I just need to know where to look for them."

L tilted her head. "I remember Keisha saying a lot of things that didn't make sense either. Well, you know you may not be able to find these answers right now, and maybe it's not a good idea to be digging around in magic realm's history just now."

Morgyn's gaze steeled. "Magic realm's history just about fucking killed my brother," Morgyn said. "I think now's a great time to go looking for answers."

L smiled. " _There's_ Morgyn Ember," she said. "Keisha has a collection of books in magic realm, you remember the one. I'd say starting with those would be your best bet."

* * *

Sometimes, the beeping was calming. So long as the little machine was still beeping in its regular, rhythmic pattern, it meant Ezio was still breathing, still alive. Other times, the rhythmic beeping just about drove him _nuts_ , less like a reassurance and more like a constant screaming that something was wrong.

It wasn't that one or the other of these things was somehow strange a thing to feel. It was that, his mind couldn't seem to figure out which way he was going to feel about all this. Like it wasn't hard enough, just facing every day watching Ezio lie there, barely hanging on.

He'd thought before now, even, that maybe it was unfair to want to keep him here so much that he'd be here, breathing but not really in there. Well, it so happened Drake was a selfish person sometimes, and though he may think it from time to time, he couldn't find it in him to change anything, either. Because he'd never reach a point where he was ready to say goodbye to him, to lose the only thing in his life that'd made everything worth it.

He stayed out of the way. By now, he'd gotten a chair moved into Ezio's room, in the room but out of everyone else's way (Morgyn and Cassandra both came and went, and Lilith had been in there a few times too), and he wrote all day and all night. Sometimes the nurses that came to check on him and look at the readouts and the charts, checking for abnormalities, they gave him strange looks, so he pretended to sleep if it was late enough at night.

Troi had brought him a plasma pack the day before. She seemed to have figured it out, but Ezio did mention he'd turned one of their friends to save his life out on the street once. Ezio wasn't even a vampire and was already incidentally making himself a nice sized vampire clan. (He did realise this, right? Drake wasn't telling him.) Drake had almost started to argue with her about the plasma packs, but then decided maybe arguing with her was an exercise in futility. Ezio attracted the most _stubborn_ people. They needed to be stubborn, or they'd never get anywhere with him.

It was interesting, because he'd noticed that Ezio was that stubborn-all Embers seemed to be-but he was never terribly stubborn with Drake. Sure, there were things he wouldn't budge on, but most of the time, they'd talk about it, and Ezio would change his mind, if it meant enough to Drake that he did. He'd never let himself think that Ezio did that because it was _him_. It wasn't as if Drake was a terribly special person. But once in a while, things Ezio did, the things he said, they all made him almost wonder if maybe Drake was special to _Ezio_. It kind of felt like that, from time to time.

Drake set his notebook down on the table, tossing the pen on top. The beeping still kept going. Today, Drake found it comforting, instead of annoying, at least. He'd only been here a few days, but he hadn't made much improvement at all. Ezio was _still_ weaker than Drake had ever felt him be before. His heart kept fluttering off and on, but it'd level back out again shortly after, and then Drake's had to remember how to work again.

Ezio hadn't had his hair so long since they were teenagers. He'd started cutting it, in France, sometime after he'd turned twenty. Jean didn't seem to care one way or another, but it was something of a gamble to cut it in the first place. He could've taken it rather badly, and it was fortunate that he didn't. Ever since then, his hair had stayed fairly short, though it still had the waves of almost-curl to it even that short.

He looked so much younger, now, with it longer again, and somehow so much older, too. Drake liked his hair longer. There was more to play with. But it was Ezio's choice, what he did with his hair, so Drake had never said anything one way or another about it. He liked it either way. Idly, Drake reached over and brushed some of the blackened strands back. Strangely, he missed Ezio's eyes.

It wasn't like Drake was going to get anything done right now. So, instead, Drake reached over and took one of Ezio's hands in his, still idly playing with some of his hair, listening to his soft breaths mingle with the beeping. Thinking of it, Drake thought he was getting weaker, and then pushed that thought away because he didn't want to think of it. It'd only been a few days. Things like this, they took time, didn't they? Drake didn't know how much.

It felt like should be getting at least a little better by this point. Maybe Drake was just being impatient.

Mostly, Drake stayed quiet, because he didn't know what else to do with all these emotions he had. He knew a lot of it was fear. The fear that Ezio wouldn't make it, that this would be the end of it, the fear that even if he _did_ make it, he'd start getting worse after this.

There were a lot of treatments and options available, some of which were experimental, but they just didn't have the funds to try most of them. Drake had never hated his books' lack of commercial success so much, but he also didn't have the ruthlessness that was required to push a book that didn't take off all on its own.

Gently, Drake brushed a finger against Ezio's cheekbone. "I'm not ready to lose you," he said quietly. "But to be honest with you, I don't think I ever will be."

He moved around, pulling his seat closer, and then laid his head against Ezio's chest, listening to his heart flutter around in there. More than he'd ever wished for anything, he wished that little fluttering thing in there would get stronger.

And he missed it, when a lone tear escaped and slipped down Ezio's cheek.


	3. Signs Don't Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iiieeee that wasn’t in the plans… I’m getting used to my plans being ruined tbh. Also, next chapter may not have an associated song at all, because I don’t know if I can find one that suits it.
> 
> Also 2, always nice when I can reuse an old pose.
> 
> Your Biggest Mistake; Ellie Goulding

If she insisted on being back there, she could use to be a little quieter about it. Ra never did like her, but she was useful, at least, most of the time. Presently, she was being more of a thorn in the side than Ra would prefer she was, but no one asked him. It was likely for the best.

Well, her prized vampire warrior was currently a pile of _sand_ , it was no wonder she was bothering him. Ra's magic was the subtle kind, though Ra himself wasn't a necromancer. It was... a gift, if you would, from a necromancer Ra had met a long time ago.

Ra would wonder how he was doing, but that man had likely died a long time ago.

"Can't you do this any faster?" Aine asked.

Ra glanced at her, pouring Sarnai's ashes across the table. "I could," he answered, "if you want a half-formed goblin, instead of your prized vampire warrior. Life and death cannot be rushed."

"How about if I threaten to kill you, will it go a little faster then?" Aine asked, her now-glowing eyes narrowing.

"If you kill me," Ra answered, "you'll never get her back. And besides, I think you'll find that a difficult endeavour."

"Killing you?" Aine asked. "That's quite easy. Anything that lives can die."

"Ah," Ra said softly. He thought he understood now, why she was having so much trouble with the Embers. She was trying to kill something that couldn't die. Well, that wasn't _his_ problem, and truthfully, it wasn't Sarnai's, either.

Or, perhaps more accurately, it wouldn't remain her problem for very long.

"Mureti otsixe," Ra murmured, "sare madnouq."

Ra's eyes turned that signature necromancy green, swirls of black smoke skipping over the sand. And slowly but surely, the smoke bound to the sand, pulling the granules back together. Only a little bit more... Ra's magic flared, and the smoke swirled faster. Then, Sarnai drew a great sudden breath in, almost sitting upright, and then laid back down.

"Easy does it," Ra murmured, moving around to wrap his arms around her.

Sarnai closed her eyes, breathing steadily, readjusting to being in a body again. "What happened?" she asked.

"They threw a potion at you," Ra answered. "It seemed to be some kind of light magic, I'm not entirely certain how they did it. It doesn't matter. You're back now."

Sarnai drew another heavy breath in, and then slid down onto the floor, half falling into Ra's grasp. "So we are," she said, and then shifted around and kissed him.

"Oh ew," Aine scoffed, and then turned around and left.

Sarnai smiled into the kiss. Ra settled down on the floor, and Sarnai found a place in his lap easily enough, and when they separated, she laid her head on his shoulder.

"You don't like her hanging around very long," Ra said, smirking.

"She's going to be the end of us both," Sarnai answered. "We're too tired to deal with her right now."

Aine _was_ annoying to deal with, and tiring enough, Ra didn't question it too much. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her a little closer. For now, she could rest, and perhaps Ra couldn't necessarily _end_ Aine, but he knew a few people that could. Sarnai happened to be one.

"Are you still together?" Ra asked quietly, gently petting Sarnai's hair. He'd always loved her hair.

"Yes," Sarnai answered. "We think we're more stable now, though. Maybe not for long."

"What do you mean?" Ra asked.

"Sarnai," she answered. "Sarnai isn't so loud this time. We can almost think straight."

"Don't push yourself too hard," Ra said, reaching down and taking her face in his hands. She looked up at him, slightly confused. "Sitkamose, you've yet to burn out with this one. If I don't have to find you another body, then it's for the best." The less hopping between bodies she needed to do, the better. It meant she was more mentally present, and _stable_ , stronger, less the girl whose body this was, and more _Sitkamose_.

All this, because he'd made one very costly mistake, and lost her. Someday, he'd find someone whose soul he could expel and leave just hers. This girl, Sarnai, she was too strong. Ra couldn't manage to expel her, but Sitkamose had also lasted the longest in her body.

"She and I understand each other," Sitkamose answered, smiling, her hand raising and brushing her fingers against his cheek.

"You've said that before, my love," Ra answered. "They all burnt out on you eventually."

"It's nice that you care," Sitkamose said. "This one has reasons to keep going." Sarnai had a family, of course. A family that, at one time at least, loved her very much. Surya would forgive just about anything, Sitkamose knew that because he was always that way, and Sarnai would always have at least one person to go to.

But as long as Sitkamose was in her body, she was unlikely to ever see Surya, or their sons, again. And the last son, Surya didn't even know he existed. It was just as well. The Lucain lineage never was terribly normal, of course this wouldn't be normal either.

"And reasons to push you out of her body," Ra said quietly.

Sitkamose sat up, hovering very close. "I know," she said. "But with her soul tied so tightly to mine, I wonder what else she would lose, if she did that?"

Ra snorted. "Tricks and games don't always work in things like this," he said. "Surya never did choose _stupid_ partners. Sarnai was no different, and perhaps these games you like to play are too dangerous now."

"She's weak," Sitkamose answered. "Weak enough I'm not concerned about it."

"Weak enough to eject?" Ra asked.

"Mm..." Sitkamose went quiet a moment, thinking about it. "I don't think so. But she's getting there. Just a little more patience, love."

"We've _both_ been waiting for centuries now," Ra answered. "Just figure out how to throw her out."

Sitkamose closed her eyes. "Come on," she said, "you've been working too hard. Let me take care of you." Her lips pressed against his, softly, coaxingly, and this time, Ra responded in a very much different way.

* * *

Things still hadn't gotten better. It wasn't to say that Caleb was surprised by this. What would be _more_ surprising at this point was Ezio suddenly going on the mend, getting better, waking up. The consistent nose diving was a little easier to swallow somehow, and yet at the same time, so very upsetting.

It wasn't even that Caleb was absorbing Morgyn's residual upset-truth be told, the brunet was doing better than the rest of them were now, but that was likely a side-effect of Morgyn shoving it all down. That _couldn't_ be a good thing, but then, sooner or later, it was all going to become too much either way.

Morgyn couldn't stay that upset for that long, and the rest of them couldn't suppress their feelings for that long, either.

Lilith sat in a chair in the hallway, idly brushing away the stray bits of lint and dust on her skirt. She looked perfectly fine, but Caleb knew her better than that. These were things she did when she was nervous. Her hair had grown out, though she'd kept it blonde, and she wore slightly more sporty things nowadays. Elle and Inna had gotten her a variety of crowns, tiaras, and diadems to try on.

She was hiding from them right now.

Caleb paced up and down the hallway, trying to burn off some of the nervous energy that'd been building up since Ezio came here in the first place. It wasn't like he and Ezio were very close, but maybe a part of Caleb always loved him, too.

If it weren't for Ezio, Caleb and Lilith wouldn't have ever spoken to Drake in the first place, though his name was different then. If it weren't for Ezio, none of them would've ever met Morgyn, or Cassandra. And if one thought about it, even Liberty, whom Ezio didn't directly meet until much later, was his fault. Because Caleb met her first, and Caleb was around because of Ezio.

And the worst part of it was, Ezio had no idea what he meant to all of them. He had no idea how integral a part of their friend group he was. Without him, Caleb maybe wouldn't have ever found someone that could love him just as he was, even as he made the mistakes he did. It seemed like Morgyn loved him _more_ now, or maybe it was merely a matter of perception. Caleb didn't know. What he did know, is that he was never taking Morgyn for granted ever again.

"I'm worried about Morgyn," Caleb said, somewhere amid his pacing. If Ezio didn't make it, then...

Lilith looked up from what she was doing, brushing one last bit of that grey tabby's fur off her clothing. "You probably should be," Lilith answered. "Morgyn's not taking this very well, even if it seems otherwise."

Caleb shook his head. "Morgyn won't talk about it."

"Of course not," Lilith answered. "We've only been talking about it for _weeks_ by now, surely we're all getting sick of it."

"That's not-"

"Oh, I know that's not," Lilith interrupted. "And surely Morgyn must, too. But right now, maybe none of us are in our best mind."

Yeah, Caleb guessed they weren't. He released a sigh, raising a hand to press against the bridge of his nose. "How are _you_ holding up?" he asked, looking over at her.

Lilith looked surprised, and then shrugged. "Fine," she said.

No she wasn't, but Caleb couldn't well argue with her about her own damned feelings, either. Or he could, he supposed, but that'd be quite rude. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't make her talk about what was on her mind. It'd always been like that.

Well, not necessarily. There was a time, a long, long time ago, when she wasn't like that at all. But that was a time long gone now. Caleb released another sigh, and then shuffled over to sit in the chair next to hers. Gently, he laid his head on her shoulder.

"You know if you need to talk, I'll listen," he said quietly.

"I know," Lilith answered. "I just don't know what to say that hasn't already been said."

Caleb could admit at least in his head that this was a fair possibility. So many things had been said the last few days, week? It was hard to keep track of what'd been spoken and what hadn't, and who said what. In the end, it all blurred together into a mass of discontent and unrest, and no matter how upset or worried they were, Ezio would or wouldn't make it either way.

He wished there was a way to turn this into something that could save him.

"You know if Ezio doesn't make it," Lilith said, "Morgyn will never be the same again."

That pretty much went without saying. Caleb might be trying not to think about it, but it didn't change the reality, either. Morgyn already _was_ changing, Caleb thought, in the small ways. In the ways Caleb didn't know how to adjust around.

Ezio was always the intimidating one. The one that was powerful and could ruin you without a second thought, and he made very little effort of hiding it. Drake, and apparently Cassandra, had found a side of him that Caleb never had, a side that maybe Ezio had shown him before and he'd not recognised. Or perhaps, he'd recognised it, and been afraid to accept it.

With them, Ezio was someone else. Calmer, more approachable, down to earth. He felt like a person with them. It had to be some kind of self-defence mechanism, Caleb always figured. Because it seemed to be that much with Morgyn, too.

Yes, Morgyn had the same front sometimes. But the difference between Ezio and Morgyn was, Morgyn was the one that'd dropped it around Caleb first. Maybe that was the only difference in which one Caleb had started to fall in love with. Morgyn may not believe it, but the brunet was every bit as strong as Ezio, maybe more so in some ways, given Ezio was half-crippled from time to time. But Morgyn never tried to be.

Sometimes, it was almost like Ezio made a big deal about how powerful he was on purpose. After this mess with Sarnai, Caleb wouldn't be surprised if he did.

"How do you and Ezio get along so well?" Caleb asked.

Lilith looked over at him, and then released a puff of air. "The trick with Embers," she said, "is you need to give them just the right place to thrive. Not too open, not too sheltered, so that they feel safe, but not restricted. That they can breathe without going out."

"Somehow I did that with Morgyn, I think," Caleb said. "But I don't know how."

"It's not so hard," Lilith answered. "They tell you how, if you know how to listen."

* * *

It turned out, the barrier was working as intended again. Morgyn would wonder a little more deeply about why exactly it'd taken so long to adjust itself, but then that answer seemed somewhat obvious. The All most likely assumed the threat was still there, and remained in under-attack mode until proven otherwise.

That was unfortunate for them, because it left Ezio vulnerable, and Morgyn had almost lost him right then and there. It was a good thing they had vampires that could use mist form on-hand. If Morgyn ever got the chance, the sage was going to go back and thank past-Caleb.

In the meantime, magic realm was still devoid of occupancy. Morgyn intended to leave it that way, at least for now. L. had lost her magic, anyway, Simeon was busy and Morgyn wouldn't ask him to watch over magic realm alone right now when Lana needed him, and Morgyn wasn't leaving Ezio for that long. It worked out.

And it turned out, Morgyn didn't terribly care about magic realm right now, either.

The brunet had picked up a handful of the books Keisha had lying around. L. had managed to save a large number of them, and bound them together with belts. Morgyn just grabbed the first few stacks bound in belt, and went back to the hotel room with them.

As Morgyn read through them, the brunet summoned one and sent another back. If anyone ever saw it, no one had said anything. Maybe they figured they were seeing things.

During one of those times Morgyn paced up and down a hallway, maybe reading a book with magic, maybe not (definitely was), Caleb came to fall into step with the brunet. Neither said anything at first, and then Caleb cleared his throat.

"You're um," he started, "reading that oddly, you know?"

"No one's said anything," Morgyn answered. "And I can't be bothered to care right now."

Caleb released a sigh. "Okay," he said. "What are you doing?" he asked instead.

"Some things don't make sense," Morgyn answered. "And given things not making sense damned near just killed Ezio, if not actually killed Ezio, I'd like to know why things aren't making any sense."

Caleb leaned over slightly, looking at the book cover. "So you turn to books," he said.

"Of course," Morgyn answered. "Not like I have any other options. Unless you have a magic realm historian somewhere in your back pocket."

Caleb blinked. "I... I've never _tried_ to find a magic realm his-ha ha, you're really funny."

Morgyn snorted. "Ezio laughs at my jokes," the brunet said. "Even if they _are_ very lame. Course he's not here to do it right now."

Caleb's eyes narrowed. "Morgyn," he said, "I'm worried about you."

"Why?" Morgyn asked, looking at him around the book.

"I just... I know you, okay?" Caleb said. "And I know you have to channel all this nervous energy into _doing_ something, I'm just worried that you'll end up hurting yourself."

Morgyn blinked, and then looked around the book at him again. "It's not like I can leave this alone," Morgyn said. "I get this feeling the mess with the All didn't just _go away_ , and if nothing else there's still _Aine_ to be concerned about-"

"Aine?" Caleb asked. "Wait, Liberty mentioned her, right, look, I'm just saying maybe right now isn't a good time for this."

"And if I stop, and Aine's doing something in the background, or this is bigger than just this, then what?" Morgyn asked. "There's got to be a reason for this that we're just missing."

"And maybe that reason is just that Ezio's _dying_ , Morgyn," Caleb said.

Morgyn visibly pulled away from Caleb. Then, the brunet's head shook. "It's fine if you don't want to help me," Morgyn said. "I won't ask that. You don't even have to understand. Just accept this is what I'm doing."

Caleb released a sigh, running both hands' fingers through his hair. "Look," he said, reaching over and gently taking Morgyn's hand, "I know you want more than anything for this to be magical, because you know how to _fight_ magical things, but Morgyn... sometimes... things just turn out wrong."

Morgyn's head shook again. "You don't understand," Morgyn said. "Aine did this. Ezio is dying because Aine was trying to kill him, he's just lived with it for a long time. And, and then I realised I don't know what the All even is, or why it exists, or where it came from and Ezio almost died saving it and I want to know _why_. I want to know _why_ that goddamn thing almost took him away from me."

Caleb stared, for a moment, and then shook his head. "I'm sorry did you say _Aine_ caused his heart condition?" he asked.

"Yes," Morgyn answered. "And I could go on about how it's my fault because I should've listened to him in the first place but it doesn't matter, I don't know how to live in a world Ezio _isn't in_." And the truth was likely that Morgyn didn't _want_ to know how to live without him. Ezio was always there. His shadow was always beside Morgyn's.

"Trying to unravel the All's mysteries won't necessarily save him," Caleb said.

"No," Morgyn answered. "But I think I deserve to know what I'm losing my brother for, and what I'm protecting."

* * *

When asked, she said she wasn't worried. Ezio was a strong person, maybe stronger than she was in some ways, and things would turn out just fine. But one of them had to be the steady one in this situation, and it was always Lilith that was.

Of course she was worried. Ezio liked to pretend that he was invincible, or he certainly seemed to act like he thought that. It was admirable that he didn't want to let his heart slow him down, and maybe that was why. Maybe at some point, he'd gotten sick of other people telling him what he could and couldn't do. Maybe somewhere in there, it'd gone from him taking it as a caution to him taking it more as a challenge.

Maybe he figured, if he was going to die, then he'd go out as spectacularly as he could. That way, it'd be more fitting, when he was reborn as a star.

Lilith turned a little, watching the traffic whiz around outside the hospital. Nothing was really on her mind, she just needed something to watch and take her mind off of things. There was no sense being upset about Ezio. It wouldn't change anything, any more than being upset about Vladislaus had changed anything.

And she'd thought before, many times over the years, that maybe making him stay here with them, it was more damaging and harmful than it seemed like it should be. That maybe it hurt him, to make him live through so much, so that they wouldn't have to figure out how to say goodbye.

She'd never said it to Morgyn, of course. Lilith hadn't said it to anyone, and didn't intend to.

She still had to figure out what to do with this _queen_ business, even.

Amid her staring out the window, she sensed someone come up beside her. Lilith turned up, finding Emilia looking down at her. "I was looking for Morgyn," she said. "But it's nice to see you too."

Oh. Yes, of course she would be. Lilith had mentioned Ezio was in the hospital, the last time they'd spoken. That was some time ago now, but it was no wonder. Everyone had other things to be doing of course.

"It's nice to see you too," Lilith answered. "Though I have to admit, I haven't a clue where Morgyn is right now." Maybe Morgyn was with Ezio. Maybe with Caleb. _Maybe_ , somewhere in magic realm. It was hard to say for sure.

"That's okay," Emilia said. "I just wanted to give him these, and probably talk too much about how I'm sorry for his hardship and everything." She gestured at the flowers in her hand.

Lilith pointed over at one of the tables. It was covered in flowers. "Some of these are for Ezio, but some are for Morgyn, too," Lilith said.

Emilia looked amused, and then added hers to the bunch.

"Ezio's still alive then?" Emilia asked, looking back at her.

"For the moment," Lilith replied. "So far nothing's really changed, for the better, or the worst. It's hard to say how things will look in a few more days, but I think if he stays like this for too long, Morgyn may have to decide whether to keep him this way, or..."

Of course, Lilith couldn't imagine Morgyn purposely deciding to take him off life support and kill him, though that, likely, would be what Ezio would want. Nothing about this was easy, though, and as much as Lilith _knew_ Ezio would want that, she didn't think she could say that, either. But she didn't think Drake would be able to say it. Maybe it was okay if she couldn't.

"I can't see Morgyn deciding not to," Emilia said. "They mean too much to each other."

Yeah, she was right. Maybe a part of Lilith always worried that Morgyn would make an unexpected decision; Morgyn _was_ pure fucking chaos half the time. Or maybe the sage would simply reach a point where it was more painful to watch Ezio stay like that than it would be to let go. Ezio _could_ just wake up. But he'd never been one to do what he _could_ do before.

Damn it. Besides Caleb, Ezio was the only friend Lilith really had. And maybe it wasn't surprising, or shouldn't have been, when her vision blurred for just a moment. Her hands quickly raised up and wiped the tears away before they fell. "Yeah," she said. "They really do."

Emilia looked surprised for a moment, and then looked apologetic. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Lilith answered, shaking her head. "It's just, Ezio and I have been friends a long time, that's all. We pretended to be dating each other a few times to chase off creepers."

Emilia smiled. "He seems like the type that'd do that," she said. "I always learnt untamed magic from him when I learnt it. He's less intimidating than Morgyn is."

Lilith laughed softly. "Yeah I guess he is," she said. "It's funny though, everyone thinks that, but he's the scary one, not Morgyn. Morgyn's just a hissy cat. Ezio's the one with claws." Well, not _entirely_ accurate, she supposed, given Morgyn _could_ have claws when the sage wanted to. The thing was that, most of the time, Morgyn's anger came and then it went again almost right after. Ezio though... Ezio never forgot, and he never forgave, and god rest your soul if you upset Morgyn somehow and he found out.

Then, Lilith wondered if she'd ever seen Morgyn _truly_ angry.

"I hear that a lot," Emilia said. "Maybe Morgyn's just too loud for me."

"Sounds right," Lilith said.

"Anyway, I've got a couple finals still, so I should go study," Emilia said. "Could you let Morgyn know I came by?"

"Yeah," Lilith answered. "I can do that just fine."

"Thanks," Emilia said. "And if anything changes, I'd like to know whenever you get the chance. ... I _really_ hope he makes it."

"Yeah," Lilith said, "so do I. Hey, um. Are you busy this weekend?"

"Not really," Emilia answered. "Why?"

"I was just wondering, maybe, if you'd be up for getting coffee with me?" Lilith asked. "... I mean, you _do_ like coffee right? We can go somewhere else, I just figured you probably weren't terribly into bars or anything-"

"Coffee's fine," Emilia said. "Sounds fun. I'll text."

"Okay," Lilith answered, and Emilia turned around and headed down the hallway. And somehow, Lilith felt a little lighter.

* * *

This was stupid. She was stupid. This whole thing was stupid, and Morgyn _probably_ didn't want to see her anyway, and she should just turn around, and go right back home, and pretend she'd never even come here.

But even as she thought that, _knew_ it was right, she couldn't bring herself to turn around and leave. Instead, she ended up pacing around in front of the hospital entrance, a handful of red carnations in one hand, her arms waving in the air as she argued with herself.

When you'd spent your entire life as invisible as Liberty Lee was, arguing with yourself in front of a hospital entryway was the least of your concerns.

"Morgyn's just going to be annoyed anyway," she said. "It's not like you _haven't_ been blowing him off for like, what, two weeks? Three? I don't even know anymore. The point is, he's definitely going to be mad at you. You don't blow someone off for several weeks and then be like, gee, how are you anyway, it's been a while."

One hand raised, smacking herself in the face. Her hair was much shorter now. She'd cut it a few days ago, just because she felt like she needed a change. She wasn't the same person she used to be, and the difference between yesterday-Liberty and today-Liberty was _ginormous_.

But no matter what she did, she couldn't stop thinking about Morgyn, wondering if the brunet was doing okay. She'd messaged Cassandra, and Cassandra had told her Ezio was in the hospital now. Morgyn couldn't _possibly_ have taken that well, after everything else that'd just happened.

Incidentally, Liberty had been sleeping better when Morgyn was still around. Maybe she just needed to know Morgyn was doing better now. It was stupid. It wasn't like she had any right to be here. She wasn't family, they weren't even really _friends_ anymore-

"Libs?" a voice asked.

Liberty startled and squeaked slightly, and then turned around, finding Morgyn looking at her in an odd combination of bewilderment and... maybe hopefulness.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately, "I shouldn't have come-"

"No," Morgyn said, "please stay. I was just surprised."

Yeah, cause, Liberty was a jerk. She breathed out, and then held out the flowers. "I heard Ezio was... so I brought flowers and, there are some packets of hot cocoa in there. With the little mini dehydrated marshmallows and milk powder."

"Ohh, the _good_ shit," Morgyn said, reaching out and taking the flowers, and then pulling out the packets, presumably, to look at the flavours.

"How did you know I was here?" Liberty asked.

Morgyn shrugged. "The air... kind of tastes sparky."

"Sparky?" Liberty asked, blinking. "... I thought I was getting better at containing that..."

Morgyn snorted. "It's okay," the brunet said. "I did have to try pretty hard to sense it, if it's any consolation. So you _are_ getting better. I'm just... better _er_. ... is that even a word?"

"No," Liberty said, smirking in amusement, "it is not."

"Well I'm using it anyway," Morgyn decided. "Oh you got _mint_!"

"I wasn't sure what flavours you'd like," Liberty said, "so I got a little of everything. Hopefully there's a few in there you like."

"Ugh, you had me at _mint_ ," Morgyn said.

Liberty smiled a little, then sobered a bit. "How's... you know...?" she asked, almost afraid to put it to words.

Morgyn glanced up at her, and then looked back down at the cocoa packets. "He's alive," Morgyn said. "He's not gotten any worse, but, not any better, either. He's in a coma right now."

Liberty's eyes saddened, and she reached over and moved to rest a hand on Morgyn's wrist, but pulled away at the last second. "I... I don't know what to say," she said. "I feel like I should say _something_ , but I'm sorry just sounds really stupid to me. How are you holding up?"

Morgyn moved that wrist, gently making it come into contact with her hand. "You can touch me whenever you want," Morgyn said.

"Are you sure?" Liberty asked.

Morgyn nodded. "If something bothers me, I'll tell you," Morgyn said. "And I'm holding up."

Liberty frowned. "I mean, I guess I can't argue with you about how you feel, and just hanging in there is totally a relevant thing to feel, I just kind of wish it wasn't how things are. Then, I can't make anything better anyway, and I don't know, maybe I'm complicating things worse by just being here and I want to say that I'm sorry for that. And I'm sorry I ignored you for a while, it wasn't anything to do with you, it was all just in my head so don't think you did anything, I just didn't know what else to do with it and I think I felt really overwhelmed and-"

And suddenly, Morgyn wasn't where the brunet had been a moment ago, one hand resting against Liberty's jaw, turning her head slightly, and for just a fleeting second, their lips met, and then Morgyn went right back like nothing had happened.

For a long moment, Liberty just kind of stared with wide eyes, mouth open just a little, and then one hand raised and reached for her lips, then fell back down at her side. "Oh," she said. That seemed to be the only thing she could think coherently at the moment.

Morgyn leaned over slightly. "Libs, breathe," the brunet said, looking concerned. "You still need _air_."

What? Oh, right. And Liberty breathed in. "Right, sorry," she said. "That just, caught me off-guard." _Really_ caught her off-guard, she hadn't been expecting _that_.

"I shouldn't have done that anyway," Morgyn said.

Liberty blinked. Right, Caleb. "Your boyfriend wouldn't be terribly pleased, huh?" Given he didn't seem to take to Morgyn's vocation very well, it stood to reason he wouldn't much care for Morgyn kissing random girls in the hallway.

"Fiance, actually," Morgyn said, holding one hand out. The sparkle of a pinkish stone caught Liberty's eye pretty quickly.

"Oh!" she said. "Oh wow, congratulations, that's so exciting, so you two made up?"

"Yeah," Morgyn said, nodding. "It's just, hard to talk about all the things that need to be talked about, I think."

Liberty smiled. "Yeah, that's not surprising," she said. "It's hard to talk about things that matter with _people_ that matter. The combination is scary. What if they get mad? What if they think of you differently? Take it a bit at a time, right?"

"Yeah," Morgyn said. "I'm trying to."

"I should go, probably," Liberty said, turning towards the door.

"No," Morgyn said, reaching over and taking her hand. "Do you have to? Can't you stay a little? I just... I feel a little better, when you're here."

Liberty wasn't so sure about that. Then, her eyes met Morgyn's, and after a moment, she nodded. "Okay," she said. "I'll stay."


	4. Eternal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and rewrote this eight times and like, this went a very different way every time but it still ended up at the same conclusion. And. I kind of feel bad about this, but you know what, no I fucking don’t.
> 
> It hurts. It’s more than a little painful but I knew this was coming before I even started on TML, so, you know. It is what it is. Not really a surprise for those that are on Simprovise cause it happened there too, just a bit less spectacularly… mostly because we didn’t have the manpower to do it this way over there but you know yeah.
> 
> Um. So enjoy this wreck of cliche I guess. And I’m quite sure the many questions it raises. (Yes, answers are forthcoming. Soon as idiot wakes up.) Also, turns out Morgyn would be disqualified from being an organ donor before Ezio would. That is something.
> 
> Eternal; Evanescence

_Mortain, France; 1770_

That was painful. The only reason why, probably, was because Ezio had gotten in Jean's way like that. It wasn't as if Ezio cared too much. The worst, he figured, that happened was, Jean finally killed him, and truth be told, that might be some kind of a blessing. Ezio had nothing left to live for, anyway.

Well, except for him.

It was a wonder why he'd even bothered fighting through Ezio's instinctive snarling at him. Ezio could be a little terrifying, when he chose to be. Then, he was still a half-grown boy back then, and wasn't terribly skilled at magic, either. And of course, there was always Jean, someone he'd grown up around.

Maybe to Matheo, Ezio wasn't scary at all.

He certainly didn't seem afraid of him now, working around varying injuries, binding broken bones, dousing everything in vinegar. It stung like the sun's fire, but Ezio also understood he had no one to blame for this but himself. He had nothing to do with it. If he'd just kept his head down and stayed quiet for once, he could've come out of that one with no trouble at all, but he just _had_ to dive in the way.

Jean could've _killed_ that servant girl, though. All she did was mix up which glasses he wanted out for the banquet the next evening, nothing worth killing someone over. She had a family somewhere. She had people that wanted her to come home someday, Ezio imagined.

"You shouldn't have done that," Matheo said.

He sounded terse and upset, and Ezio had a hard time imagining why. But the more time went on, the more this sort of thing seemed to bother him. He didn't _have_ to help, he did know that, right? Eventually, Ezio would bleed out and die, and the world wouldn't be any different for the loss.

Somehow, he got the feeling saying that wouldn't go well.

"Jean does this to me all the time," Ezio said instead. And it was true enough. Ezio had lived through worse than this, somehow. Sometimes, Matheo's skill at keeping Ezio alive, it was a wonder he wasn't a doctor or something.

"Not this bad," Matheo answered, tying a bandage around his arm. There was a stick in it, bracing the arm; it'd broken, of course. It was a miracle Ezio wasn't half crippled by now for how many times Jean had broken too many of his bones to count.

"Ezio, he probably wouldn't have even hurt the servant girl that badly," Matheo said. "You just _had_ to go and make things worse. He's not beat you this badly in a long time. I'll have you know when I got to you, you weren't even _conscious_."

That wasn't surprising. Ezio could've figured he wasn't going to stay conscious for very long after that somewhere amid it happening. He'd started getting a sense for these things. Probably a strange sense to have when you were twenty two, but sometimes things were just _like_ that.

Ezio didn't fight with his lot in life too much. He'd been here six years now, and he'd long accepted that he was. There was a barrier around this side of the estate, intended to keep him in, and presumably, everyone else out. It moved when Jean came home, and from that point to the rest of the day, Ezio was his, to do with as he pleased.

By now, Ezio had accepted it, stopped fighting Jean as hard as he used to. He was too tired to, anymore, all the fire in him gone cold by now. Maybe that wasn't too surprising. And when Jean swore, even for a split second of a moment, Ezio _almost_ moved his hips with him, he may not have been imagining it.

He was pathetic.

"I'm not surprised," Ezio said.

"You shouldn't have said anything," Matheo said. "He wasn't that angry until you said something."

It wasn't like Ezio was one of Jean's lovers. He had a few of those, but he was notably kinder to them than Ezio. Even now, six years after Ezio had lost everything that'd ever mattered to him, Jean was still... well, it wasn't like Jean really _wanted_ anything. He said he wanted to know where Rosalie was, but it was pretty fucking obvious by now Ezio wasn't going to say anything on that matter, and Rose wasn't ever coming back to Mortain, either.

Sometimes, Ezio wished Rose _would_ come back. Come back and save him from this mess, at least, but then he always inevitably hated himself for thinking it. So what if his body didn't work right because nothing was ever _not_ broken, and he'd gotten so very close to dying far too many times to count by now? Rose was free.

"I couldn't just sit there and do _nothing_ ," Ezio said. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone." He shifted in his seat, a blue upholstered chair that was probably going to have blood stains in it for the rest of forever. Somehow, it was always this chair he ended up in when too many things were broken and bleeding.

"Damn it," Matheo said, tossing the roll of bandaging onto the table, leaning against it for a moment.

Ah. Now Ezio understood. Though it hurt to do it (one of his legs was broken), Ezio stood up, shuffling the short distance over to Matheo, and gently rested his hand on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't be standing on that," Matheo said.

"You looked like you needed me to," Ezio answered.

"Not _that_ badly," Matheo said.

Ezio snorted softly, and then laid his head on Matheo's shoulder. "It'll heal," he said softly. "Just like it always does."

"Someday," Matheo answered, "you're going to get yourself hurt so badly I can't fix it, Ezio."

Well, as much as Ezio hated to admit it, he was probably right about that much. Ezio didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

Matheo turned his head slightly, resting his cheek against Ezio's hair. "Promise me you won't do that again," he said.

Ezio looked up at him. "What?" he asked. "It wasn't that bad-"

" _Yes_ , it was," Matheo interrupted. "Please, Ezio, please never do something like that again. You don't _have_ to fix everything, or save everyone."

Well, Ezio always figured, if he was going to be alive and waste a bunch of air, he may as well be useful while he did it, right? Ezio raised his head, and started to argue, but something about the way Matheo was looking at him made him change his mind.

He was afraid to think about what that look meant too deeply. Someday, maybe he'd be able to think about it.

It was _always_ Matheo he bent for, wasn't it? Ezio smiled slightly, glancing down at the floor. Matheo sure was a dangerous person to him, or could be, if he so desired to be.

"Okay," Ezio said softly. "If that's what you want, okay."

"Promise me," Matheo said.

"I promise."

_I'm sorry. I lied to you, didn't I? I didn't mean to._

* * *

_Oracle Point Hospital, Newcrest; 2019_

Liberty hadn't said anything about the pot. She just seemed to be keeping half an eye on the brunet, sitting on the stairs at the back of the hospital, smoking a joint. She was a bit further away, in the grass, showing Morgyn what she'd been learning from the Li spell book.

At the end of this one, she shifted her hand slightly, blew at the air, and suddenly it twisted into a small tornado. It unfortunately very rapidly fell apart again, but it was kind of amazing she could get so far to begin with. No one knew how to use air-based magic, not anymore. Apparently it wasn't part of the spell repertoire the All allowed them.

Morgyn was coming to _hate_ that thing.

"That's pretty impressive," Morgyn said, whistling softly as the tornado fell apart.

Liberty snorted. "I can't seem to get it to hold together," she said. "I'm sure there's some kind of science thing I'm missing here, maybe a sort of physics thing."

"Good thing you're in physics," Morgyn said.

"You know, I can't say I ever figured I'd be using my physics degree for _magic_ ," Liberty said, looking amused.

"Life takes you in strange directions sometimes," Morgyn answered. It wasn't like _Morgyn_ ever figured falling in love with a Li was on the table, but here they were all the same. Morgyn wasn't entirely sure how to broach this mess with Caleb.

It wasn't like Morgyn could change how the brunet felt. Maybe Morgyn and Liberty wouldn't stay together, either, maybe it was just that, _right now_ , Morgyn loved her, and _right now_ , Morgyn needed her. Truth be told, if Caleb asked for explanations and reasons why, it wasn't like Morgyn _had_ them.

Morgyn wasn't the type of person to consider things like that too hard. Feelings existed for reasons, and for no reason, and some reasons and some not-reasons. And sometimes, for reasons that felt like reasons but weren't. Those were feelings.

Morgyn's logical mind _hated_ them. A lot.

All that to say, if Caleb started asking certain questions, Morgyn would have no answer to give him. Maybe it'd be best if the brunet just didn't say anything. Liberty had gone back to being Morgyn's friend, instead, like nothing had happened at all. And maybe Morgyn should leave it that way.

"I'd always heard magic is harder outside range of a matching nexus," Morgyn said. Liberty was learning _real_ magic, not the pop-toy style crap the All had left them with, and Morgyn was curious how it all worked.

Liberty shrugged. "I guess?" she said. "If I was translating the book right, the Li family's born with a connection to something, I think the best way of translating it is as the sky... I guess the word would be arcana? It's like the nexus is in our blood, rather than something found externally."

Well _that_ sure sounded interesting. Morgyn frowned, head tilting to one side. If the Li family had something like that, then it was possible that other lineages did, too. Come to think of it, maybe that was what made the five families so powerful in the first place. That would mean unfortunately, as a side-effect of the deviation from _true_ magic, the families were much weaker than they should be, because they no longer used the arcana.

"That's odd," Morgyn said. "The five families being linked to something like that _would_ explain their magical prowess, at least _back then_ , but maybe not so much now, with the All and everything."

Liberty shook her head. "It's not something that _goes away_ , I think," she said. "Unless it bloods out of a lineage, at least. I think, any lineage that practices magic for a certain amount of time eventually can learn to bond with one of the arcana, but I also think which arcana it is that an individual bonds to is a very individual thing. Like, mine seems to mostly bond to the sky arcana, but there have been ancestors that bonded to other ones."

"So everyone that has magical ancestry should theoretically still be able to link to one of these arcana things?" Morgyn asked.

"I think so," Liberty said. "It may be part of being a less blooded caster, if that makes any sense, needing to rely on the presence of a nexus, or at least close proximity of a ley line."

Morgyn raised an eyebrow. "You know, I wonder if maybe we should go back to calling ourselves what we are," the sage said.

Liberty looked confused. "What's that?" she asked.

"Witch," Morgyn answered. "A very long time ago, we were called witch." All this mess had been caused, Morgyn was getting the idea, from them forgetting who they were. Maybe it was time for them to remember.

Liberty smiled. "I like the sound of it better," she said.

"Yeah," Morgyn said. "I always did too."

"There are boy witches?" Liberty asked. "In stories, they're called warlocks or something."

Morgyn snorted. "Like stories told by humans know anything about magic and witches," the brunet said. "Witches can be male, too. Warlocks more commonly are the not so great kind of male witch. Either that or edgy emo kids."

"So what's a wizard?" Liberty asked.

"Wizardry is the fusion of magic and science," Morgyn answered. "I told you magic has a science, and science is magic, right? Wizards study the relationship between science and magic and learn where they cross. They work to understand the natural flow of the universe and work their magic within it, but a lot of wizards aren't interested in spell craft so much as learning to use magic without it. I suppose someday _you_ may be better known as a wizard. We don't have any wizards anymore." Or at least, none that _Morgyn_ knew about. Maybe there were a few of them.

Liberty thought about it for a moment. "That seems like a lot to remember," she said.

"Not really," Morgyn answered. "Wizardry is really a new thing, only cropping up in the last few centuries thanks to advancements in science and mathematics, so most magic practitioners you come across will be witches. Certainly it's among the older arts, but we could use a good wizard or two. I should think combining the ideologies of witchcraft and wizardry would yield something quite impressive." Provided, of course, one could manage to do so in the first place.

It was a tricky thing. And with the All's existence apparently crippling their magic usage in the first place, it was difficult to imagine that anyone alive now could get terribly far in fusing the two. Given long enough, maybe Ezio could do it, but that was debatable. Maybe the only magic Ezio could really use was the All's, because of his heart.

Well, they'd see if Ezio would be doing much of anything after this soon enough.

"Maybe one of us will find out someday," Liberty said. "I bet you could."

Morgyn laughed. "Nah," Morgyn said. "I don't do awesome things. I just teach others how to do them instead."

* * *

"I have to admit, it's a little weird to have you back," Caleb said, tilting his head.

Liberty leaned against the wall, and shrugged. "Just wanted to know Morgyn's okay," she said. And that did seem to be how it turned out. She slept better now, just like she thought she would. They hadn't talked about... mostly Liberty was ignoring it. If nothing else, _now_ was the _worst_ possible time to be having a discussion about their feelings for each other, and Liberty was okay with being the outlier anyway.

She always had been.

"I see," Caleb answered. He glanced over at Cassandra and Drake.

Drake had stopped talking to anyone but her, for the most part. Nobody could say they blamed him, and it was good that he was talking to _someone_ , at least. Liberty hoped things started going better after this, because if it didn't, it was hard to say how things were going to go.

Morgyn was about on the edge of _losing_ it, it seemed like. L. and Simeon came by from time to time, but it'd been another few days, and Ezio _still_ was not getting better. Liberty was beginning to wonder if he ever would, but then shook that out of her mind.

Someone had to be positive in this situation, and everyone else seemed fresh out of optimism.

"I think I know what happened now," Caleb said quietly. "While I was gone."

Liberty glanced over at him, and then looked back at the wall on the other side of the hallway. "I'm not confirming anything," she said.

"I didn't expect you do," Caleb answered. "But you know, I still think you're in love with Morgyn."

Liberty snorted, stretching out for a moment. "Doesn't matter if I am or am not," she said. "Morgyn's marrying you and all."

Caleb arched an eyebrow, wordlessly gesturing a hand at Cassandra and Drake.

Liberty glanced over at them, and then back at Caleb. "I'm sorry," she said, "are you implying what I _think_ you're implying?"

"If you think I'm implying we could perhaps make a poly relationship work, yes," Caleb said. "Look, I don't understand _what_ exactly Morgyn sees in you. I don't understand what brought you two together in the first place. But I will tell you Morgyn started whimpering _your_ name in his sleep when you were gone. And maybe I don't _get it_ , but maybe I don't have to. I just have to know that for whatever reason, Morgyn needs you too."

Well, that made two of them. Liberty _also_ had no idea what Morgyn saw in her. And for that matter, no idea what Morgyn saw in _him_ either, but there was a lot there she didn't understand, and she knew that. Hadn't Morgyn said the brunet had been in love with him for over a hundred years? There _had_ to be something she was missing, then.

And she wanted to understand that. She wanted to understand this weird Caleb creature, because he was important to Morgyn. Maybe that was what it was with him, too.

Liberty released a breath. "If nothing else," she said, "now's not a good time to be thinking about things like that." With Ezio in the hospital in a coma, it was hard to call Morgyn in the right mind at the moment. Never mind Morgyn _likely_ hadn't really had a chance to process anything that'd happened before that, with Aine and...

Liberty still didn't like thinking about it. But Morgyn was getting better, still pushing forward every day, and maybe she couldn't take the pain away, but she hoped she could make it easier.

"You're right," Caleb said. "I just, wanted to tell you this before I forgot about it. I think, we love the same person. Maybe we can understand that much."

Yeah, maybe. "What do you do with it?" she asked. "When there are hurts in Morgyn that run so deep you can't tell where they end and Morgyn begins?"

Caleb snorted. "I never mastered that," he said. "I just try to be there, though. If you listen, Morgyn tells you what he needs, in a way. But uh... you know don't forget your other friends. They'll definitely come in handy."

Sure sounded that way. Liberty started to answer, but the overhead system kicked on.

"Code 60332, third floor, Dr. Williams," it announced.

Liberty's blood ran cold. Very faintly, up the stairs, she could hear Morgyn screaming. "Ezio just flat-lined," she said, grabbing Caleb's hand and pulling him towards the staircase.

"He what?" Caleb asked.

"Flat-lined," she answered, "it's when their heart suddenly stops. For all intents and purposes, Ezio just died."

* * *

"No, stay right where you are," Troi's voice said, and then she was barking orders at her team.

Morgyn sat back down. The brunet was still clinging to Ezio's hand, but Ezio couldn't feel it anymore, the heart monitor screaming a single tone around the sound of the team working around Morgyn, like the brunet wasn't even there.

It was too late for that, Ezio knew. But he'd made the choice he'd made, and he didn't regret making it, either. Liberty came up behind Morgyn and wrapped her arms around the brunet's shoulders, and held on. It was difficult to think that Morgyn would be okay. Certainly, it didn't look that way, not right now.

But, eventually, Morgyn _would_ be okay. Ezio looked up, as Drake and Cassandra shuffled in. They stayed out of the way. Ezio looked back down at Morgyn, and then went over to Drake. And for a long moment, Ezio just watched him.

It was probably for Cassandra's benefit, but he managed to hold it together. Ezio could see it, though. The pain in his eyes, the worry, the fear. Ezio never wanted him to live through this. Ezio never wanted to leave him.

But life, and death, were full of things one didn't want.

Ezio's hand raised, resting gently just off Drake's cheek. The way his eyes lit up, and began to water slightly, he knew Ezio was there. "Thank you," Ezio whispered. It didn't matter what he said, because Drake couldn't hear it anyway, but he hoped, more than anything, that Drake knew what he meant to him. Did he tell him enough? Did it matter?

Ezio's hand fell away, and he turned to look at Cassandra. She looked away from him, but he walked around her, to stand in front of her. "Cassie," he said.

She shook her head. "I can't," she said.

"Yes you can," he answered. "You're a stronger person than you know. I've seen it in you. You'll be okay."

She shook her head again, harder, and then her eyes squeezed closed, a sob loosed, and she turned down to the floor.

"You and Drake should go through my side table, later," Ezio said. "There are a few things in there I want you to have."

"Not without you," Cassie answered.

"Hey," Ezio said, "I can't be there, I've got a train to catch, but you can do it together. Please, Cassie, please stay together, you and Drake. Okay? I think you'll need each other. This guy," Ezio said, nodding at Drake, "he was alone before I came along. I don't want him to be alone again, I don't want _either_ of you to be alone again, okay?"

Cassandra didn't answer, a loud sob escaping, her face burying in her hands. Ezio smiled, reaching up and holding his hands close to hers, then stretching up and kissing her forehead.

"Everything will be okay, Cassie," he said. "Even if it doesn't feel like it now."

He wouldn't ask anything like she tell Drake anything, or Morgyn. Nothing would console that idiot. Ezio glanced over at Morgyn, still clinging to him and blubbering about how Ezio couldn't go anywhere Morgyn didn't. Ezio wished it was like that, but that wasn't how this worked.

He was dying quicker now, Ezio could feel it. He'd messed something up, taking that lightning bolt. But he always knew the risk of doing it, and had done it anyway. And he'd do it again, a thousand more times, if it kept Morgyn safe.

Makana was right. That was how he loved. Because he knew no other way to love.

Ezio took a breath in, and then turned around. Makana stood off to the side of the room, not far from the light. It was ridiculously bright, just a bit brighter than he'd have liked, but he should't have been surprised by that, either.

He walked over to her. "Is that my train?" he asked.

"I should think so," Makana answered.

"Sorry you got the wrong guy," Ezio said. "For the whole convergence of the worlds thing."

"You did well," Makana said. "Maybe in your place, Morgyn will keep going."

Ezio snorted. "Are you joking, Morgyn loves a good mystery," he said. "I should think something like this would keep the idiot busy for years to come." On... the other hand, that could also be a very bad thing, because Morgyn also had a notable tendency to hyper-fixate on things.

No. Ezio shook his head. He wasn't thinking about that. He wasn't going to change his mind. He'd died, it was what it was, and there was no sense fighting it. Death came for everyone, eventually. Now it was his turn, and he knew enough about the cycle of living and dying to know that trying to fight it was only going to cause him, and everyone that loved him, needless pain.

"I should go catch my train," Ezio said. And he walked past Makana, towards the light.

"Don't you want to know?" Makana asked.

Ezio paused, turning back around to face her. "Know what?" he asked.

"What the All is," Makana answered. "What the chaos is. What these two things have to do with each other, why Morgyn's involved at all, what happens to magic realm, who the faceless child that dwells in your soul is. You said Morgyn loves a good mystery. It stands to reason, so do you."

And for a long moment, Ezio thought about it. His eyes cast to the floor.

"Call it."

"No! DON'T YOU DARE! EZIO! EZIO PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

Ezio glanced up at Morgyn, pleading with him to stay. If he had to listen to that for too long, he was never going to leave. He _knew_ how death worked. Ezio shook his head. "I'll find out," he said, "when Morgyn finally comes to tell me."

And with that, he turned back around, and went into the light.

Or he _would've_ , if something didn't suddenly stop him. What was that? Ezio stepped forward again, and then heard the chain rattle. He looked down. There was a chain wrapped around his wrist. He followed it.

It led to Morgyn.

Oh no. Oh _no_...

"I-" That wasn't-

"You see," Makana said, "sometimes things don't quite go according to plan."

Ezio rounded on her. "What is this?" Ezio asked.

"The astral chain," Makana answered. "You know that, silly."

"That... that makes no sense, why does _my_ chain go to Morgyn?" Ezio demanded. The astral chain bound a person's soul to their body, and when they died, it temporarily remained. In that small window of time, a person could be restored to their physical form and brought back from death, so long as the chain didn't sever.

When it did, that was true death, and it always would, given long enough, or when a soul went into the light. This was wrong on two counts; one, Ezio's astral chain wasn't tying him to his own body, but to Morgyn. And two, it was actively stopping him from going into the light.

What did Morgyn _do_.

"You know the answer to that," Makana replied. "If you think about it long enough. But this works out fine enough. Nothing to stand in your way when your dead. It's rather nice to be dead."

Ezio closed his eyes, and breathed out. "I'm not terribly fond of it," he said. And if he had to spend all of the rest of his unlife listening to Morgyn scream-cry, watching them mourn him and not be able to do anything to help, it was going to drive him _bat shit insane_.

Ezio turned back around, and moved towards the light again. The chain pulled taut, and then forced him back away from it.

"You should know trying to forcefully break the astral chain doesn't work," Makana said. "Particularly ones that have no interest in breaking."

Ezio looked up at her, glowered, and then stood back up. Alright. So he couldn't move on. And he was dead. Well if he couldn't move on then maybe he could manage not to be dead anymore.

"Troi," he said, turning around and running over to her. The chain disappeared as he went away from the light. "Troi, please, please don't give up, come on, you can do it, you're the best damned doctor I've ever met, please-"

Troi laid a hand on Ezio's hair. "10:15," she said softly.

"No no, come on, I don't think I can undo cremation, shit," Ezio waved his hands in the air. "Okay, fine, fine, I'll do it myself."

He backed away, raising his arms. As his necromancy flared, the signature green glow spread through all of him, turning his entire incorporeal form that sickly green hue. "Tareirep douq erecaf rutetrever, muilisnoc eratum sitaf," he spoke the words, the energy flared suddenly, and then it died.

" _Damn_ it," Ezio cursed, throwing a bolt of ice at the wall. It broke one of the lights and then spread across the ceiling.

Morgyn looked over at it. "Ezio..." the brunet murmured. "Ezio no, damn it, Ezio you know how this works don't-god, I want you to stay, I really do, but you _can't_."

"I don't have a choice," Ezio answered. ... Morgyn. Morgyn was a necromancer. "Morgyn, please, Morgyn I know you can see me, I need you to now, please, you're my only hope, come on." Ezio moved over and knelt down beside Morgyn.

And for a long moment, Morgyn just stared blankly. Ezio raised his hand, holding it up. And then, Morgyn squinted, and raised a hand to hover against Ezio's.

"You're so blurry," Morgyn said. "... and your hair's the wrong colour. Ezio, your eyes are green... you look just like me..." The brunet's eyes squeezed closed, more tears falling. "Ezio you have to go in the light."

"I can't," Ezio answered. "Not without you, I think, Morgyn, you're a necromancer, you can bring me back."

"What?" Morgyn asked, eyes opening. "No, that goes against every rule in the necromancer rule book, you taught me that."

"I can't move on," Ezio said. "And I can't stay like this. You're a necromancer, and a very strong caster. You can do it."

"No I can't," Morgyn said, "I'm not a _necromancer_ , I just see blurs sometimes."

"No, when we were kids," Ezio said. "Do you remember? There was a little girl that'd gotten lost in the woods, and she died, and we found her spirit wandering around the forest. She scared you, and you never saw another ghost clearly again. You've shoved it down, but Morgyn, it's still in you."

Morgyn frowned, and then the brunet's head shook. "I can't," Morgyn repeated, and then pulled the sage's hand away from Ezio's.

"Morgyn, _please_ ," Ezio pleaded, but Morgyn couldn't hear him anymore. No. Even if Morgyn was strong enough, the sage's energies were too chaotic right now. It'd be a miracle if Morgyn didn't destroy everything in the attempt. Fuck. What now?

No. Ezio knew what now. "Ethren," he whispered, standing up. "Hurry, take me to Ethren!" And just like that, Ezio vanished.

* * *

This was somewhere in the deep woods. That was all Ezio knew, and maybe the semantics of it didn't matter right now. He needed to figure out where Ethren was, but Ezio was still having trouble with his ghost abilities; he'd just died a few minutes ago, after all, but he did know he needed to hurry up because if he didn't, then they were going to start doing funeral preparations.

Of course, in Ezio's case, that would be pulling what organs could be used out of him and then throwing him in a _furnace_ , and that was hm, kind of bad for resurrection purposes.

Since he was on a timer, Ezio decided to skip the pleasantries. "ETHREN!" he screamed, as loudly as he could. "Ethren please!"

Of course, that got a lot of _other_ attention. Other ghosts that were lingering in the shadows. Ezio straightened up, watching some of them slip around in the mists. There were some _not nice_ things in the mists, Ezio knew that. He backed away from it.

And then he sensed Ethren behind him, and turned around.

"Oh, Ezio..." the dusky-skinned man whispered. "You know how this works, why are you here?"

"I can't move on," Ezio said. "And I know that normally you'd go in the light but there's an astral chain stopping me from going into it."

Ethren looked confused. "I'm sorry, a what?" he asked, red eyes scrunching up.

Ezio held up his arm. And then stepped closer to the light, which apparently had followed him into the forest. The chain suddenly appeared, and pulled taut, stopping him.

Ethren looked down at it. "Where does that go?" he asked.

"To Morgyn," Ezio answered. "I think I can't move on without Morgyn."

"Ezio, there's no guarantee necromancy will keep you alive," Ethren said. "If you died because of that heart problem of yours, it could be way more complicated than necromancy's equipped to handle."

"I _know_ ," Ezio answered. "But it's the only other thing I can think of to do, maybe with strong enough necromancy it'll jump-start my heart long enough for me to figure something else out. Or, I don't know, _maybe_ it was just a random fluke and I'll be fine, just, _please_ , put me _back_ , I can't _stay_ like this. I'm going to go fucking insane! I don't know about you, but really powerful crazy dead necromancer sounds like a bad thing to me!"

"This really isn't something we should be discussing," Ethren said.

"Look," Ezio said, "I'm an _organ donor_ , we can discuss the morality of this _later_. And I would move on if _I actually could_!"

"Alright, fine," Ethren said, raising a hand to his nose. "Where are you? ... body you."

"Oracle Point Hospital," Ezio answered. "I'll meet you there."

"I'm quite sure," Ethren answered, but he started casting transportalate, and Ezio disappeared.

"Cassie, I need you to tell them not to," Ezio said, moving across the room to her. "Please. I know this is hard, I'm so sorry."

Cassandra stared at him for a moment, and then her jaw set, and she stood up, stopping one of the techs from disconnecting everything else. The heart monitor was already silent.

"Cass-" Morgyn started, blinking.

"Not yet," she said.

"They have to start on preparations for-"

"I know," Cassandra said. "But not yet. Just five more minutes, please."

Amid her talking to Morgyn and the doctors, Ethren had already started. Ezio moved to the side, standing beside his body. Drake tilted his head, watching Ethren's eyes turn that creepy necromancer green.

"This breaks about a thousand different rules of necromancy," Makana said, watching him.

"Of course it does," Ethren said. "Do you have any better ideas? Because from where I'm sitting, the kid's stuck here anyway, and leaving him like that is going to turn him into something probably worse than just a dead guy."

"I've yet to meet a truly terrible ghost," Makana said. "They're not _that_ dangerous."

"You can thank people like me and him for that," Ezio said. "We're the reason ghosts don't _get_ that dangerous."

Makana frowned. "They're not going to like this, I should think."

"Quit interrupting my necromancer," Ezio said.

"Well, they always did say you'd be a handful," Makana murmured, turning around, and disappearing into the wall.

Ethren went back to working, red eyes turning green again.

"What is he arguing with..." Drake mumbled.

"Makana," Cassandra said. "And Ezio."

"Tareirep douq erecaf rutetrever," Ethren murmured, "muilisnoc eratum sitaf." And this time, the energy flared, broke the remaining ceiling lights, and Ezio fell back into his body.

Cassandra scurried over to Ezio, as he suddenly drew in a deep breath, and quickly plugged the heart monitor back in.

The heart monitor went back to its steady, rhythmic beeping. Like it had never even faltered at all.


	5. The One Who Cared After All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can’t see straight. I got it done though, that’s the important part. Ezio is sorta sad in this. But not exactly because he also kind of shoved it all down like a stupid stupid idiot stupid.
> 
> Hopefully next chapter we actually get that uni-llama debate.
> 
> Summit; Skrillex, Ellie Goulding

"I thought my heart was going to quit with his."

Drake snorted. "Yeah, mine tried, too," he said.

So far, though, Ezio had gone stable again, and remained that way. Ethren hadn't gone back to wherever he'd come from, but Morgyn wasn't quite ready to talk to him just yet and had been ignoring he was there. He seemed to understand, so Morgyn didn't try to explain anything to him.

Instead, the brunet was sitting in one of the waiting areas, talking to Drake. Cassandra had gone to make cocoa. Liberty had to go to work, unfortunately, but Morgyn wouldn't ask her to miss more time on the sage's account. Caleb had gone, too. He'd needed a break from the large number of people and the tension, and probably the _smells_.

It was a wonder what the hell he'd done exactly, but Morgyn wasn't stupid. If Ethren was here, it was something necromancy-related that Ezio couldn't do alone. Somewhere in the blur of activity and feelings, Morgyn remembered Ezio's ghost saying something about how _Morgyn_ was a necromancer.

The brunet would like to say that wasn't possible, but it _did_ tend to run in family lines. Seemed like maybe their looks weren't all the Ember twins had gotten from mommy dearest. Apparently, mother's necromancy was on the list for both of them, too. Morgyn still wasn't sure what to do with that.

Somewhere amid all the chaos and the tension, Morgyn had lost the ability to eat anything again. Liberty had suggested something with a rice base and maybe chicken or something, but Morgyn had no interest in eating anyway. The brunet intended to just stick to drinking cocoa and tea, and leaving it at that. If that was the best Morgyn could get, then so be it.

"You know he _died_ ," Morgyn said.

Drake made a face. "I know," he said. "I _felt_ it."

Morgyn paused in the brunet's pacing, glancing over a shoulder at him. And then what that _meant_ sunk in, and Morgyn looked a little upset. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's fine," Drake said. "No one thinks about it. It's not like he's a vampire and it's obvious he should have vampire offspring that can feel it when he dies."

No, Morgyn supposed not. Ezio wasn't a vampire, and spellcasters didn't _generally_ have vampiric offspring. Ezio was a strange case, because somehow he'd managed to tap into the _original_ way vampires had been made on _accident_ in a _panic_.

Truthfully, Morgyn didn't know if it said more about _Ezio_ or about his bond with Drake that he'd managed to do that. All the same, Morgyn supposed being Ezio's offspring gave Drake something of an inside view of this that they all didn't have.

Morgyn was glad for that. Morgyn was quite sure if the brunet had any more insider information than the sage already did, insanity might be on the list somewhere.

Cassandra shuffled back, handing Morgyn a cup of something steaming. Morgyn took it, barely paying any mind to, or noticing, the heat the cup gave off. Cassandra made a face, but she simply sat down next to Drake with her own cup. Drake hadn't wanted any. She'd asked before leaving.

"Dr. Williams hasn't been by or anything right?" Cassandra asked.

"No," Drake answered. "It's just been us."

Cassandra's leg shook, and then she took a drink of her cocoa, and set it on the table. "I hate this waiting thing," she said.

"We all do," Drake said.

Cassandra looked over at him, and then took his hand in hers. They could both use the support anyway, and Morgyn was far too busy pacing around.

"He was dead for at least a few minutes," Morgyn said. "That can't _possibly_ have not caused some complications." Maybe especially in a body as old as his was. It was hard to imagine that he'd come out of that completely unscathed. It seemed like Ezio never came out of _anything_ unscathed, and Morgyn hated it.

"We won't know until he wakes up, maybe," Drake said. "Troi did all the standard checks and scans. She'd probably have to do some deeper digging to find anything else at this point. Just seems more efficient to wait until he wakes up for that."

 _If_ he woke up, but Troi said he was starting to become more responsive over the first few _hours_ even, and he'd almost woken up a few times. At least, he'd been awake and moving, but not quite conscious yet. He wasn't aware of anything any of the times he'd done that.

Morgyn didn't know what they called that. Just, awake?

In any case, Morgyn paused, setting the cocoa down on the table next to Cassandra's. This was a mess, and what was worse was, Morgyn was _very_ sure the hospital bills were going to be bleeding _insane_. Of course, Morgyn could just skip on over to the Desert Rose and start making money again, but... there was Caleb to consider.

They hadn't talked about it since the last time it'd come up. Morgyn wasn't going to broach the subject, it seemed in poor taste and the brunet didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything incidentally. Morgyn wasn't sure what to do with that, except, pretend it wasn't a concern right now and leave it for future-Morgyn to be worried about. It wasn't like there weren't a _dozen_ other things to be concerned with.

Morgyn's head shook. "I guess," the brunet said. "I have to agree with Cassandra, I hate this waiting thing."

Drake snorted. "And what else is new?" he asked.

"Excuse you," Morgyn said, looking over at him. "I mean yeah I have precisely no patience, but jeez."

Drake shook his head, then turned to look out the window. When he wasn't writing, he was watching the outside world go by.

The three of them went quiet. Morgyn returned to pacing around, and pausing at everything that came over the loudspeaker system. Cassandra took a drink of her hot cocoa, and set it back down on the table.

"Ah," Drake said softly. "It's raining."

* * *

He was always in one of two places. Either Drake was with Ezio, in his room, or he was in the waiting area just outside it, and either place he was, he generally had his notebook with him. The stress and the tension made it seem like he shouldn't be able to write this way, but there were interesting flickers of his time with Ezio over the years, flickers that were strangely inspiring.

Besides, it was better to remember good things right now, than worry about the bad things, despite how much his paranoid mind liked to do the latter.

It was good that he was getting things done and writing more. If Morgyn was right, and there were more complications from this mess than were immediately apparent, that was likely to cause them some problems going forward. And if anyone would _know_ there was something they weren't seeing wrong with Ezio, Drake always figured it would be Morgyn.

Drake sat in the waiting area this time, sifting through papers, rearranging the story he was working on right now. He was determined to put all this nervous energy into something constructive and useful, and apparently it was writing. But he hadn't published anything notable in a while now, anyway. It was just as well.

As he shuffled through papers, someone came over, and sat down next to him. Drake looked over to find Kassander sitting there, people watching.

"I didn't know you were coming," Drake said. Somehow, Kassander always managed to slip in and out completely unnoticed.

Kassander smiled. "I didn't want you to," he said. "Nothing special needs to be done when I'm around."

He always said that. "What brings you by here, then?" Drake asked.

"I had a moment," Kassander said, "and figured I should stop by and make sure you're doing okay. The answer seems to be yes-no."

Drake would argue with that, but there was legitimately no point. "Something like that, yeah," Drake answered, instead.

Kassander snorted softly. "Mostly no, I see, if you're not fighting with me," he said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Drake shook his head. "You're a busy person, Kassander," Drake answered.

"I've never been too busy for you," Kassander said. "And you know I'll keep pestering..."

Drake released a sigh, setting the papers back down on the table. "I just, don't know what to say," he said.

"That does sound more accurate, yes," Kassander said, legs crossing, hands resting in his lap. Drake never understood how he could be so graceful, and simultaneously occasionally move like a predator. "What happened? Start there."

"Like you don't know," Drake said, smirking.

"The point isn't me _knowing_ , Drake," Kassander said. "It's you _talking_."

Drake sighed. He always said that. One might perhaps think there was something to it if he was so consistent about it, but something in Drake always questioned it all the same. But then, Ezio always had time for him. It wasn't like it was _impossible_ for someone to. It just seemed that way, because Kassander had a thousand other things to do than listen to him whine aimlessly.

"Sarnai threw a lightning bolt at Morgyn," Drake said. "And Ezio dove in the way of it. And I know why he did. I just... wish, that he didn't _have_ to. I wish that it didn't happen. Because now we're here. Ezio's still in a coma. I don't know if he'll ever come back to me."

Drake looked down at the floor. Kassander reached over and took one of his hands. "You felt it, didn't you," Kassander said. "When he died."

Yeah, so he did. And it felt like a little piece of him died, too. It wasn't a good thing, to be sure, that so much of Drake's life revolved around Ezio. It shouldn't be that way, and he recognised that it wasn't technically a very healthy thing, and could very easily go wrong.

But somehow, they managed to love each other this much, and depend on one another this much, without hurting each other in doing it. And if it worked for them, Drake had a hard time believing that it was a bad thing. Neither of them felt like it was a problem. It didn't hurt either of them, or take anything away from them. If anything, Drake thought it kind of made their relationship stronger. Because when one of them needed something, or had fears and insecurities, they could talk about it, and very much openly.

It wasn't like Drake didn't interact with people that _weren't_ Ezio. He and Cassandra got along. Drake was friends with Morgyn, had even incidentally joined a vampire coven to learn how to be a vampire, because it wasn't like Ezio had answers for that, through no fault of his. Drake had made friends in the Drago di Napoli, attached to Kassander as something of a surrogate sire, if one could imagine such a thing.

These years, just like this, were some of the happiest years of Drake's life. He would never regret them. He would never regret Ezio, staying with him, or loving him.

Instead of answering, as he intended to, Drake's vision blurred, and he bowed his head.

Kassander didn't say anything, simply scooted across the couch, gently, but firmly, pulling Drake into a hug, softly petting his hair. Drake rested against Kassander's shoulder, watching the way the coffee table swirled around and mutated through the tears.

"You never quite forget it," Kassander said. "The loss. It's a feeling that stays with you."

Drake was quiet for a moment, and then raised his head slightly. "Does it ever stop hurting so much?" he asked, in a small voice.

There was a pause, as Kassander considered it for a few beats. "It is like a window," he said, "opened in the winter and frozen that way. It takes time. It takes chipping away at it bit by bit, but a little more every day, the window closes, until one day, it's shut, and the freezing winds are sealed away. But the glass will always be cold, if you reach up and rest your hand against it."

* * *

Not a day went by anymore where Morgyn wasn't high, or getting there. With Caleb and Liberty not present at the moment, it felt like Morgyn was going crazy and a little quicker than the brunet would like to be.

Sometimes, Morgyn felt like the sage could _sense_ it, somehow, when Ezio tried to wake up again, and then slipped back into his coma. Maybe their bond as twins was strong enough that Morgyn _could_ sense that, somehow. It wasn't like they'd ever tested the confines of their bond or pushed its limits.

As often Morgyn did, the brunet sat on the back steps of the hospital, smoking a joint. And it wasn't surprising when, as often happened, someone came out, and then sat down beside Morgyn on the steps.

"I didn't know you smoked," Ethren's voice said.

Morgyn glanced over at him, and shrugged. "Been doing weed a long time," Morgyn said. "Just usually not this consistently."

"Is it helping?" Ethren asked.

"I haven't completely lost it and set everything on _fire_ ," Morgyn said. "I consider that something of a win." Maybe it was a strange thing to consider a win, who knew.

Ethren was quiet a moment, and Morgyn _almost_ started to worry that he hadn't taken that knowledge well, but then Ethren sighed and looked out at the fence. "Life's not been being too kind to you, I see."

Morgyn shrugged. "I got used to it," the brunet said. "I imagine Ezio did too."

Ethren released a breath. "That isn't something you _get used to_ ," he said.

"Sure it is," Morgyn answered. "No sense in being upset about it anyway. Resistance is futile, or whatever that saying is. Everyone goes through bad things, Ethren."

Ethren seemed to have decided, at some point amid that discussion, that arguing the point was moot. Instead, he fell quiet, staring at the fence.

"You should probably have left him dead," Morgyn said quietly.

Ethren snorted. "I should've," he said. "But there were some extenuating circumstances, if you would, that changed my mind."

Morgyn looked over at him, took a drag off the joint, and raised an eyebrow. "Ezio's good at arguing," Morgyn said. "Like god-level, comes with the territory of training to be a lawyer I guess, but what exactly could _possibly_ be so convincing?"

Ethren looked over at Morgyn. "Do you know anything about why there'd be a chain tying Ezio's soul to you?" he asked.

Morgyn looked perplexed. "Why would there be a chain tying Ezio's soul to me?" Morgyn asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," Ethren answered. "He called the chain an astral chain. Ezio's astral chain shouldn't be going to you, and it certainly shouldn't be preventing him from going into the light, either."

"Ezio couldn't move on?" Morgyn asked.

Ethren nodded. "If he got too close to the light, the chain pulled him back," he explained.

Morgyn looked down at the grass. That explained why Ezio needed Morgyn's help. And of course, Morgyn was too upset to do anything other than brush him off. Sometimes, it was honestly a wonder Ezio tolerated the brunet. It was a wonder _anyone_ did.

It wasn't like Morgyn _tried_ to be selfish. It was _probably_ a leftover mindset from all those years working the streets, because out there, nobody would take care of you but you, and sometimes the only thing left to do was take care of yourself.

It was too late for regrets like this now. They didn't serve a purpose.

"He seems to be making it on his own now, at least," Ethren said, pulling his legs closer under himself. "We can be glad for that. I stayed just to make sure he was going to make it. No idea what I would've done if he hadn't."

"What would it mean, if he'd died again?" Morgyn asked.

Ethren turned to look at the brunet like Morgyn had lost it. "You know what," Ethren said. "That it was his time to go, and there was no stopping it. I suppose, then, we'd have been preparing for the fallout of a very powerful, crazy dead necromancer hanging around."

"Or trying to figure out why his astral chain leads to me, huh?" Morgyn asked.

"Precisely," Ethren answered with a short nod.

They both went quiet a moment, Morgyn taking a drag off the joint, watching the smoke swirl into the sky and disappear. Then, Morgyn took a breath in and turned towards Ethren.

"Am I really a necromancer?" the brunet asked.

Ethren spent a long moment watching the sage, and then nodded. "I think so, yes," he said. "I had the feeling you were for a long time, but you never displayed the ability, only Ezio did."

"Ezio says I shoved it down," Morgyn answered. "Because a ghost scared me. I don't remember that."

"Of course not," Ethren said. "It was probably traumatic to you, and your young mind failed to store it in long-term memory to protect you from that trauma. But it doesn't change that you can never be anything other than who and what you are."

Morgyn drew in a breath, and then released it in a sigh, looking up at the clouds. "Ezio was always the cool one, not me," Morgyn said. "I don't know what I'm supposed to _do_ with this knowledge."

Ethren shrugged. "Maybe nothing," he said, turning to look at the clouds, too. "At least, nothing for right now. There's time, to think about it, and decide what to do with it."

* * *

Very dimly, he could hear voices. And if he focused on those voices, they sounded quite familiar. Ah, come to think, he recognised one of them as Drake. The other, he _thought_ , was Caleb. Interesting they were having a conversation right there. Then again, maybe that should be expected, because something told Ezio that Drake didn't want to go too far from him, anyway.

Certainly, they always felt a little better when they were near one another, even if they weren't _actively_ talking or doing anything together. Ezio had never come to understand it, but he supposed he didn't need to, either.

He stayed where he was, letting consciousness filter back to him. His breathing messed up after a few moments, as the pain started to filter in, too.

Drake and Caleb stopped talking.

"You heard that, right?" Caleb asked.

"I think so," Drake answered. "Ezio? Are you actually awake?"

Ezio's eyes opened, glancing over at them, and then one eye squeezed shut in pain, he had a migraine it seemed, and he raised a hand towards Drake. "Drake," he said, "come here, Caleb, please."

Drake made a strangled noise, instantly jumping up and going over to him, taking his hand. Caleb followed a bit slower, moving around to Ezio's other side. Ezio very gracelessly pulled Drake down to him, reaching up to take hold of his face and kiss him. He was a bit off, at first, but he managed to reorient after a moment.

"M'sorry," Ezio spluttered, "m'sorry, I didn't think about it, I should've thought about it, that was a stupid idea, I could've probably cast a decent barrier a bit faster than it took me to get in the way of it, but I don't have no _sense_ when it comes to Morgyn, m'sorry, I never meant to hurt you-"

"Hey, it's okay," Drake said, taking his hand again. "You have nothing to apologise for."

"Are you kiddin', I got a _lotta_ stuff to apologise for," Ezio said, looking at him like he'd done lost his mind. Then, his grey eyes flicked over to Caleb, and he smiled. " _Caleb_ , you look notably more fluffy today, lookit your hair it's so much longer, that is so weird..."

Caleb snorted. "I haven't had time to cut it," he said.

"You should leave it for a few days, it looks nice on you," Ezio said.

"I'll go get Morgyn," Drake decided, shuffling around the bed to the door.

Ezio pouted slightly, but let his hand go. "Gimme yours instead," Ezio said, reaching over and taking Caleb's hand in absence of Drake's. "What's your hair so long for? What'd you get busy doing? That seems weird, there's a lotta time in the day, unless you get busy doing something that's only marginally important. Then there's no time in the day at all. You know what we needa do, we gotta petition the sun god not to fly his chariot across the friggin sky so fast, that's what we ought to does. Do you think the sun god even takes petitions? Maybe he doesn't. Oh but the earth is round, right, his chariot's always moving, does he even have the _space_ to _get_ petitions, maybe not..."

Caleb had a very interesting look on his face, by somewhere around the middle of Ezio's rambling, but he didn't comment on that directly. "Um, he probably doesn't," Caleb said. "But I got busy helping Lilith with Forgotten Hollow."

"Oh, yeah," Ezio said, sounding kind of dazed. "She was doing stuff in Forgotten Hollow. What stuff? Did it ever resolve itself? Hey, has anyone ever told Vlad his ears are a little too big for him? I could fix that. I'm pretty good at magic if I try to be." Ezio's voice dropped to a stage whisper. "Caleb, are you still being mean to yourself and doing super-villain drugs?"

Caleb arched an eyebrow. "Super-villain drugs?" he asked. "Oh, synthetics? I quit. Mostly by chance while helping Lilith. But you were right anyway."

Ezio smiled, reaching over with his other hand and patting Caleb's with it. "That's good," he said. "The world is mean, Caleb, the whole world is terrible and cruel enough, they'll give you plenty of things to feel bad about just fine. You don't need to go helping them."

"I guess so," Caleb said quietly.

"It's okay," Ezio said. "You live and make mistakes and learn right? Hey, if you never makes mistakes, then yous not trying hard enough, in'at right?" Ezio _thought_ that was right. It sounded good enough for his purposes at least. "What Lilith need help with? Musta been somethin' really messy if she got you involved in it. You're not really big on the vampire things. Not that I blame you. I guess vampire things aren't usually _good_ things to get involved with. And you've never been too proud of bein' a vampire anyway."

Caleb looked somewhere between befuddled and amused. If Ezio was less high, he might've noticed. But he was. So he didn't.

"Vladislaus disappeared," Caleb said. "And Sarnai attacked Lilith. Hurt her pretty bad, I had to keep her on a diet of plasma packs for a week or two before she started to really function again. It was kind of scary. You should tell her not to do that again. It was scary."

Oh. Ezio looked up at him, and for a moment, his eyes focused a lot better than they had been only seconds before. "She got hurt that bad?" he asked. And then he frowned, and sort of started to reach for something but it was hard to tell what. The motion ended shortly after it'd begun. "Caleb, are you okay?" If Lilith had gotten hurt that badly, then it had to have been difficult for him to deal with. Caleb didn't take things like that very well, and if it was Ezio and Morgyn, foo, he probably would be internally losing _his_ shit and _he_ was supposed to be the _strong_ one here.

Currently he was the _high_ one, but who was paying attention?

Caleb didn't answer, for a long moment. Ezio almost wondered if he'd _said_ it instead of merely thinking that he should, but then Caleb lowered his head, and Ezio could hear him start crying.

Oh no! Wait! That wasn't what that was supposed to do! "Shit, did I said somethin' else?" he asked. "I'm sorry-" and one hand smacked into Caleb's arm reaching for him.

Caleb took his hand, and shook his head. "No, it wasn't-it _was_ something you said, but it wasn't bad-"

"Commere," Ezio said, holding the arm not attached to Caleb's hand and waving it in the air.

Caleb loosed a shaky breath, and then moved around to rest against Ezio's shoulder, gently. Ezio reached up and loosely wrapped his arms around him. And they stayed that way, for a while, Ezio just holding him, and Caleb crying against his shoulder, and were he not high, maybe Ezio would be asking some more questions about now. As it was, Ezio was _very_ high, and rapidly devolved into internal debating about how fast a uni-llama could fly.

And then the door opened, and Drake shuffled in, followed by Morgyn, who wasted no time in rushing around the bed and clinging to the arm Caleb wasn't lying on. Ezio smiled. "Morgyn," he said, "you're okay. You _are_ okay right? You've been eating? Eating is a good thing. Living on needs potions is a bad thing, and if you're doing it you're an idiot. Oh you smell like weed. Oooh, that would make sense, stress levels and all of that, hey, your hair is brown, why is it brown? No it was brown when I was a ghost and talking to you, too, I remember now. Did you get bored of being blond? I guess blond would be tiring by now, considering you've been blond for literally a hundred years or something, maybe it _is_ about overdue for a change by now. When I get out of here, I want ice cream. I know I'm not supposed to eat ice cream, but just once, and we can even get fat free ice cream, they make that now. I think. Not that I don't fully intend to dump a bunch of flavoured syrup onto it-"

Ezio stopped talking, abruptly, looking down at his leg. At some point, Cassandra had come in, and laid down halfway on his leg. Ezio hadn't noticed. Then, as he was looking at it and frowning, he tried to move it. It didn't even twitch.

"Cassie," he said, "push on that leg for me."

Cassandra looked confused, but she moved, and shoved against his leg.

He couldn't feel that. Ezio frowned deeper. "I can't feel that," he said softly.

Caleb sat up, looking at him. "Can you move it?" he asked.

Ezio shook his head.

"I'll go find Dr. Williams," Drake decided, standing up and shuffling back out of the room.

* * *

"The loss of circulation caused a small stroke," Troi said, looking over the charts and papers in her hand. "You seem to be paralysed in both legs. I did some tests on it earlier, and one of your legs _kind_ of responds to stimuli, but it's kind of variant and unreliable."

"What's that mean exactly?" Morgyn asked. "He won't walk anymore?"

"He should be able to walk, still," Troi answered. "Just not unassisted. He'll likely need something to help make up for the leg that isn't responding at all, and there'll be times when he needs a wheelchair I'm sure. You'll need to make some changes and adjustments, also to your house."

"We live in an apartment," Drake said.

"There's time," Troi said. "We can definitely work something out, figure things out in response to this, it's not the end of the world. There are also some other options with his mobility assistance, we could look into getting him a mobility-trained service dog. It'd help him do things on his own, without needing one of you, like opening doors and cabinets, and retrieving things he's dropped, things like that."

Ezio was quiet, while they discussed it. Eventually, his gaze moved to look out the window, watching the trees sway in the breeze he couldn't feel. It was... strange, being alive now, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He truly didn't have much of a choice, though, and Ezio knew that, both now and at the time.

If he could do it all over again, knowing what he knew now, would he still take that lightning bolt? Strangely, even to his own surprise, he heard the voice inside his head answer, " _Yes_." Morgyn had always been, and still was now, far more important than he was. And in thinking of it, Ezio couldn't say why. But he believed, felt like, Morgyn had to live, even if it meant that Ezio didn't.

He felt someone take his hand. Someone else told him it'd be okay. He knew that. Morgyn was alive. As long as Morgyn was alive, of course everything would be okay. He believed that.

"Spire may not work anymore," Drake said, holding Ezio's hand in both of his. "We may need to think about moving somewhere else, buying a house if we can. An apartment complex isn't going to let us install things like stair lifts and ramps."

"I don't know if we _can_ buy a house," Cassandra said. "My savings are running low, it may not be enough for a down payment on a house."

He was the one that took the lightning bolt. He knew what it was going to do to him, and he did it anyway. He was the one that got Ethren to resurrect him. He definitely knew what _that_ was going to do, and he knew the risks of reanimating a body after it'd been dead for any amount of time.

Ezio had no one to be angry with for this, but himself. He knew the risks. He took them anyway. And now he was paying for it.

He looked down at the floor. And he realised, right then, that this meant he was never going to dance again. His vision blurred.

It didn't really matter. Morgyn was alive. Just like he'd wanted.


	6. Every Word, Every One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh. This was actually supposed to be revealed right at the tail end of the story, so that’s really fun, I have no idea what the last scene looks like anymore. Well, never mind, I know what it’ll be, it just popped into my head SO ANYWAYSSSSS.
> 
> I was not going to reveal this until the very end of the series, but it… is kind of important to know to understand Ezio’s motivations? Maybe? I just hope it doesn’t really change how everyone sees him. Because Ethren is right and it didn’t change anything at all.
> 
> Like I said when I realised it finally and it all clicked into place, it’s one of those things that has always been here, and it makes sense of things one didn’t realise didn’t make sense, right? It feels huge. It feels like it changes everything. It changes not a damn fucking thing.
> 
> P.S. A lot of my chapter images will probably start being just random game-play screenshots from the OFAF save that don’t have any bearing on the chapter’s events at all, and are just nice to look at.
> 
> Endlessly, She Said; AFI

"This is in our price range, got some decent space," Cassandra said, nodding at the screen. She and Drake were flipping through house listings on his laptop. There were some options, at least, and she was going to speak with a realtor later to see what they could afford and how much in loan they could get.

There was a lot to think about suddenly. Everyone was trying not to make it sound like this was a big deal, but, it kind of was, and that reality made it harder to hide the tripping over it they were all doing.

But then, maybe it was an unnecessary precaution. Ezio wasn't paying much attention to anything they talked about, anyway. It was like he was physically there, but in his head, he'd gone somewhere else.

Cassandra looked up and over at him. Still sitting in bed, eyes glassy and unfocused, staring unseeing out the window. Mayor Whiskers had gotten into the hospital, and up to his room a couple days before. Drake had wandered in to find him sitting on Ezio's bed, but unfortunately even as an emotional support animal, he wasn't really allowed access to hospitals, and they'd had to take him home.

It was unfortunate, because Cassandra thought, right now, Ezio kind of needed Mayor. He hadn't really been speaking anymore.

"It could work," Drake said, flipping through the house's pictures. "Ezio, do you want to stay in San Myshuno?" Drake looked over his shoulder at Ezio.

Ezio didn't respond right away, long enough Cassandra and Drake glanced at each other, and then he shrugged. "I guess," he said.

Cassandra and Drake exchanged another glance. Cassie hadn't expected him to take the news very well, but he seemed to have taken it a bit harder than she'd been expecting. Of course, she did remember, Ezio was rather old, and had lived through probably too much. Maybe this was just one thing too many.

She didn't know how to help him. She didn't even know if she could.

"Ezio, what you want matters too," Drake said.

Once again, Ezio was quiet for a long moment, and then, again, he shrugged. "I guess."

Drake looked a hair distressed. Cassandra reached over and rested her hand on his for a moment. "He's just upset," she said quietly. "He'll level out over time." Or at least, she very much _hoped_ he did, because she wasn't sure what to do if he didn't. Of course, she knew as well as everyone else did. Nothing was ever going to be the same from here again.

"I hope you're right," Drake answered, just as quietly. "I don't know what else to do with this."

That made two of them. Cassandra wasn't sure what to do _for_ him, either, and didn't imagine Drake had any better idea than she did. They'd have to just take this one day at a time, playing it by ear. There was no other way of dealing with this that she could think of.

"It's only been two days, Drake," Cassandra said. "Give him some time. It's a lot to take in, a lot of things to sort through his feelings about. You and I both know Ezio doesn't reach outward when he has things to work out in his head." He tended to withdraw and pull inward, just like he was doing now.

In time, he'd come back out again, she was sure of it. It'd get better from here.

In the meanwhile, they needed to figure out somewhere else to go. Cassandra thought it'd be best to stay in San Myshuno. If nothing else, Ezio really did love the city, everyone that knew anything about him knew _that_. The problem was that there wasn't a whole lot available in the city that had the space they'd need. Ezio would need it for getting around a house in a wheelchair, for manoeuvring around even with just his leg brace, and if they got a service dog, it'd need yard space to run around and exercise.

The more she thought about it, the more it felt like they needed a _mansion_ , just because of how many of them there were in this one household, plus Ezio's mobility concerns.

"Drake, maybe it'd be a better idea," Cassandra said, "if just you and Ezio moved out into a house somewhere."

"What?" Drake asked. "Why? There are more of us in this household than just me and Ezio."

"Yeah," Cassandra said, "but if we want to keep him in San Myshuno, there's not a lot available that has the space and isn't an apartment on the fifty sixth floor. And even looking _outside_ of the city, most places that are options are giant mansions we may not be able to afford with so many of us and only two of us making any money."

Drake frowned. "I guess," he said. "But I don't think Ezio would want you to go. And besides, you _are_ helping."

Cassandra sighed. "I suppose," she answered.

"We'll keep looking," Drake said. "We don't have to figure out answers right this second, there's still a bit of time. Troi's not letting Ezio leave here anytime soon."

"That's another problem," Cassandra said. "He's got to have racked up hundreds of thousands of dollars in hospital bills already, considering he spent at least a week on life support." That can't have been _cheap_. And then, to make everything worse, he'd gone and _died_.

Drake shook his head. "It's been paid," he said.

"Wait, what?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't know," Drake answered. "I talked to the billing department, and they said Ezio's bill's already been paid in full. All that's left now is outpatient care, and his insurance will cover a lot of it."

"What about the service dog?" Cassandra asked.

"I didn't ask," Drake answered. "I'm not sure who did what, but I think someone paid it."

Cassandra shook her head. "Well, no one I know of," she said.

"I don't know anyone that has that much to just _throw away_ ," Drake said. And then his eyes narrowed. "Well, except for _him_ , and he _was_ by the other day."

"The blond guy?" Cassandra asked.

"His name's Kassander," Drake answered. "He runs the first, but not the largest, vampire coven in the world. It also happens to be a mafia."

* * *

"You've missed a lot," Morgyn said, sitting down on the edge of Ezio's bed.

Ezio was quite sure he did. As it was, he'd been gone something close to a month, if he was guessing right. "What day is it?" he asked.

Morgyn smiled. "It's almost June now," the brunet answered. "It's almost summer, and term will end. I've been talking to your professors about sitting your exams late. I'm not sure if they'll agree or not, but I'm trying."

Well, worst that happened, Ezio supposed, was he had to repeat a term. But it wouldn't be that bad in the long run. Much easier the second time around, if only because he already knew all of the material anyway. Ezio decided not to say that. If Morgyn wanted to have that fight for him, Ezio would let the sage fight it.

"It's fine if you can't," Ezio said instead.

"Well, if I can't, you'll have to repeat the term," Morgyn said. "That's not exactly cheap."

"Don't worry so much," Ezio said. "It'll work out somehow."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Morgyn answered. "Well, I should tell you Cassandra talked me into unblocking her magic."

Ezio had sensed that, yes. He wasn't surprised, though, just a little worried. But of course, he was going to be worried about anything that potentially put Cassandra in danger. On the other hand, he _had_ explained the risks of it to her, and she'd done it anyway. That implied she'd likely eventually decided it was worth the risks.

Ezio didn't necessarily _agree_ with this assessment, but thankfully, he didn't have to.

"How's her training going then?" Ezio asked.

"She seems to mostly be learning from Drake and Bella," Morgyn answered. "Just as well. I unblocked Liberty's magic, too, and she's been learning from me. And a very old spell book handed down through her family. Ezio, she's learning _real_ magic, the old stuff we learnt about from the stones with writing on them."

That meant real magic still worked, then. But that led Ezio to wondering why magic had ever changed, if old magic had never stopped working. "What else did I miss?" he asked.

"I talked to Aine," Morgyn said quietly.

Ezio stared for a moment. And then sighed. "And why did you do that?" he asked. Aine was nothing but poison to Morgyn, but Ezio did still understand she remained important to the idiot. If Morgyn _insisted_ , then Ezio could live with her being around again. He guessed.

Morgyn's head shook. "It was a mistake," the brunet said. "I thought, maybe she'd know how to find you and bring you home, you didn't have your medication and I was _scared_ , and desperate, and so I asked. Now I don't ever want to see her again. You were right about her."

Ezio shrugged. "Maybe not," he said. "I know you always liked her-"

"She was trying to _kill_ you, Ezio," Morgyn interrupted. "She gave you your heart condition. She's why you're dying. She killed you."

Ezio stared for a moment. Tears spilled over, and slid down Morgyn's cheeks.

" _I_ killed you," Morgyn spluttered. "I should've listened to you, and I didn't. And now I can't even stop it, I don't even know what she did."

Ezio looked down at his hands, and then reached over and pulled Morgyn over to him. Carefully, Morgyn moved around him and rested against his side. It wasn't like Morgyn _meant_ for that to happen.

But for just a second, Ezio agreed. Yes, Morgyn did kill him. But thinking about it, he supposed, if anyone had a right to kill him, it'd be Morgyn.

Things turned out the way they did for a reason. Maybe because Morgyn was short-sighted and selfish, maybe because this was how things were supposed to be. Ezio wanted to live, but he didn't know how to anyway, so it was just as well that he kept breaking himself so Morgyn didn't have to. It was all Ezio was really good for, either way.

Well, that and telling people everything would be fine, and sounding like he meant it, amid it all obviously going to hell.

"Did anything good happen?" Ezio asked.

Morgyn shrugged. "This did?" the brunet said, holding up the sage's left hand. There was a ring on the ring finger that wasn't there before.

Ezio looked at it for a moment. It had that peach-pink colour to it that implied it was morganite. Of course it was. Sigh, Caleb you absolute _sap_. "Caleb?" Ezio asked, though he knew the answer already.

"Yeah," Morgyn replied, hand lowering slightly. "I said yes. But I think I'm falling in love with someone else, too."

Ezio raised an eyebrow. "I see," he said. "Have you told either?"

Morgyn's head shook. "I don't intend to do anything with it," the brunet said. "It's better to let this particular sleeping dog just lie."

"And you think Caleb won't sense this?" Ezio asked. "He's quite good at reading you, really. He'll notice, so you may as well be honest with him and talk about it."

Morgyn looked up at him, and then away. "I don't know," Morgyn said. "He wasn't so thrilled about... and this time it's a choice. I don't want to hurt him."

Ezio released a sigh, glancing at the wall. "Here's a strange question," he said, "when was the last time you asked how Caleb's doing, anyway?"

Morgyn looked up at him, seemingly kind of startled, and then looked away. "I actually don't know," Morgyn answered. "That's not good."

No, it wasn't, and Ezio wasn't surprised by that response, given Ezio had asked him if he was okay, and Caleb had broken down into tears on him. Unfortunately Ezio wasn't stupid, and that meant Morgyn had been being blind and one-sided on accident. It always happened eventually. Morgyn kind of went in cycles on it, or something.

"You two are just bad at fucking _everything_ ," Ezio said, falling back down in bed. "Go talk to your fiance, idiot, before you suddenly don't _have_ one anymore."

* * *

So far, Lilith had managed to keep control over Forgotten Hollow. It was to be expected. She was a decent leader type, if she bothered to act in such capacity. Caleb wasn't very well-suited to it, but that was just as well, and fine enough. He didn't _want_ to be well-suited to it, either.

Still, it meant she occasionally asked for his help with this or that. It was fine, because the hospital got to him here and there, and he could use the break from it all. Caleb didn't want to be _rude_ and just leave, even though he didn't think anyone would be surprised or upset by it.

As he made his way back inside, he headed up to the floor Ezio was on, and quickly found Morgyn sitting outside in the hallway, working on something. Caleb smiled softly, for a moment, and sat down next to the brunet. "How's he doing?" Caleb asked, leaning over to kiss Morgyn's cheek.

Morgyn leaned into it slightly, and then sighed. "He's upset," Morgyn answered. "I get why, but he's trying to hide it instead of talk about it."

Caleb shrugged. "You know how he is," he said. "Ezio doesn't like talking about things that bother him right away. He has to think about them on his own first. And when he's ready, he'll start talking then." Not a moment before, no matter how much they all would rather he talked about it, even if it all came out a jumbled mess.

But Ezio wasn't like that. He tended to keep things to himself, for a long time. Like he had to make sense of them in his own head first, before he could talk about them. Maybe some things, he never talked about at all, because he never could make sense of it any.

Caleb knew how that felt, maybe too well.

"I know," Morgyn said. "I just wish he would talk about it, everything's changed and he can't be okay right now. Cassandra and Drake are looking at housing options, too."

That was good, maybe they'd have somewhere to go before Ezio was discharged from the hospital. Not having to make him deal with the elevator in leg braces or in a wheelchair sounded like a solid plan. Not that it was impossible, just maybe a pain from time to time. Nothing was going to be the same after this.

"Hey," Morgyn started, looking over at him, "so... how are you?"

Caleb probably looked rather surprised, glancing over at the brunet. Eh, never mind. Ezio probably told Morgyn to ask. "Ezio said something, didn't he?" Caleb asked, but the tone of his voice made it clear it wasn't really a question.

"Yes," Morgyn said. "But he was right all the same. I haven't been thinking about you very much, and I'm sorry for that."

Caleb shook his head, reaching over and taking Morgyn's hand. "You've been dealing with a lot, Morgyn. It's fine." Granted, Ezio woke up high as a kite back from the dead, crippled, and in pain, and he still managed to find time to ask how Caleb was. It wasn't like Morgyn meant to be that way, and Caleb knew it. He tried not to be unfair about it all.

Morgyn's head shook. "No it's not," the brunet said quietly. "It's just, there's a lot of me that doesn't know _how_ to think about someone else, and I have to try harder than most I think, to do it. It's an explanation, not an excuse, though."

Caleb shrugged. "Morgyn, you barely have the emotional and mental capacity to think about _Ezio_ half the time," he said, "and even _that's_ half-assed at best. It's not like I don't know this." Morgyn had always been that way.

It didn't mean it didn't _hurt_ , it just meant Caleb understood that it wasn't purposeful. And somehow, knowing it wasn't purposeful, it made it easier to deal with overall.

Morgyn winced. "Am I really still so bad at it?" the brunet asked.

"I'm sure Ezio understands, too," Caleb said. He had to know. He'd been here the longest of any of them. Maybe once, Morgyn wasn't like that at all. Caleb almost wished he could know that Morgyn. But that wasn't _his_ Morgyn all the same, either.

Morgyn stood up, shuffling around to kneel on the floor and hugged Caleb. "I'm trying, Caleb," Morgyn said. "I really am. And I know I'm not very good at it, but please believe me, I never mean to hurt you."

He knew that, too. Caleb released a quiet sigh, sitting up and resting his hands on Morgyn's back. Caleb still had to wonder about their overall compatibility, and how long they could last this way. Because Morgyn may not mean it, but it was still hurtful. And Caleb had to wonder how much of it being hurtful he could stand before it hurt so much it'd be better to walk away from it all.

Caleb never thought he'd think that. But these last few months had changed them all, he supposed. Maybe some part of him would always love Morgyn. But he wondered if he loved the brunet _enough_ , if maybe that really was a thing.

Expecting Morgyn to change was unfair. The brunet may never change at all, and if Caleb couldn't accept Morgyn the way Morgyn was, was that really love? And if Morgyn couldn't make him feel like he was needed and appreciated, was _that_ really love?

Ezio had made him start thinking about things he probably didn't intend to, through one, simple, well-meaning gesture. And if that was all it took, to make Caleb start questioning his feelings for Morgyn, _was that really love_?

And then Caleb wondered, did he know what love was? Because all of this was making him think maybe he didn't know at all. But not right now. Caleb would leave these things for later, because right now, neither he nor Morgyn were in good mental or emotional places, and discussing these things before they were ready could only end in tears.

"I know," Caleb said. "You've always been this way, Morgyn, for as long as I've known you. And I won't expect you to become someone else. Just think of me, here and there, if you can."

He'd always love Morgyn. But maybe, not always in the same way.

* * *

"You feeling better kid?" Ethren asked, sitting on the side of Ezio's bed.

Ezio, as he'd been doing off and on, was half lost watching the breeze outside the windows. It took a moment, but eventually, he looked over at the former sage, and then back out the window. "I'm alive," he said.

"That's not quite the same thing as feeling _better_ ," Ethren answered. "But I get it."

Ezio didn't say anything in response. And then he took a breath in. "One of my legs is dead," he said. "The other's weak."

"Ezio, I'm sorry," Ethren said. "Do you know what you're doing now?"

Ezio shrugged. "Cassandra and Drake are looking at other places to move. We live in an apartment complex that wouldn't be thrilled to hear the words 'stair lift' and 'ramp,' I'm sure. Troi said something about a mobility service dog, leg braces. There are some new braces out now, partially robotic, that might help. Between those and a service dog, maybe I'll stay independent." At least, mostly so.

"That's a start, certainly," Ethren said. "I know it feels like the end of the world, but it isn't. This will get better. And maybe over time, with physical therapy and the like, you'll regain control and range of motion over your not-so-dead leg."

Ezio was quiet for a long moment. And then blinked and the tears fell. "I'll still never dance again," he said. "I've wanted to dance again so much for so long. And I know it was never a promise that I could someday, I just, held onto the hope I guess. It was the only thing I've ever wanted, Ethren. Now it's gone forever."

And what did it matter, anyway? Ezio never got anything he wanted. Except Drake and Cassandra, somehow, but he still didn't understand how he'd gotten them.

"Maybe someday, things will change, Ezio," Ethren said. "Or maybe you'll find you want something else. No one understands what our purpose here is. ... well, except maybe you."

Ezio glanced over at him, and then his gaze went back to the window. He reached up and brushed away the last of his tears. Crying wouldn't solve anything.

And Ethren was right. He knew exactly why he was here.

"You know what it means," Ethren started, "when your astral chain is tied to someone else, don't you?"

Yes. As it turned out, Ezio _remembered_ , now, just vague flickers of it, but it was enough. The day he was born. "Yes," Ezio said. "I remember now."

"What are you going to do with it?" Ethren asked. "Obviously Morgyn doesn't remember."

Ezio shrugged. "Nothing, maybe," he said. "I don't think it matters now." Of course, Ezio _had_ begun to wonder what this meant, but it was just one too many things to think about right now. There was a lot going on, and he _still_ had to figure out the mess with the All.

Maybe he should be asking someone for help with it about now, but Ezio had decided some few years ago, it had something to do with Morgyn. And it was better not to expose Morgyn to it until he knew what it was, and whether it was dangerous to the brunet or not.

He was guessing, it probably was.

"It doesn't," Ethren said. "It doesn't change anything. You're still the same Ezio you were before."

Was he? Did it matter either way? Ezio didn't think so, but he didn't say that. He felt different, now, anyway. Not because of that, just in general. He felt like a completely different person to the one that took that lightning bolt to save his twin.

He'd still do it, of course, if he could change it. But too much had changed in the time since then. He didn't feel quite the same.

"I need to go back to Keisha," Ethren said, reaching over and patting Ezio's hand. "You know how to find us, if you need one of us. Don't be afraid to ask for us."

Ezio looked up at him, and nodded. "I know," he said. "Maybe I'll come by and visit. Could you check on Mayor? I'm not sure if anyone's gone home in a while."

"Yeah, sure," Ethren answered, and then stood up. "Don't _die_ again, kid."

Ezio snorted. He'd try not to, but Ezio knew better than to make any promises. He _was_ still an Ember.

* * *

Ezio slept a lot. It was probably a side-effect of still being in a state of healing, but it _was_ frustrating. At least the ghosts were nice enough to leave him alone. Or maybe he was blocking them out like Morgyn did, because he couldn't deal with their ectoplasmic _drama_ right now.

He was still a very angry person about all of this, but he had no one to blame but himself. He kept saying that. But maybe the truth was, this was more Morgyn's fault than he wanted to admit to.

Unfortunately, it didn't help him figure out what to do with any of this mess. It was just as well he was sleeping a lot. He probably needed it, and being awake was stressful.

He woke up as he always did, to a room that was too bright for him, and at first, he was alone for once. Drake must be out house hunting with Cassandra, or something. That was fine, too, it wasn't like Ezio was good for Drake's mood right about now. Actually, he seemed to depress him, and that made sense.

The door opened eventually, and Caleb wandered in. He didn't say anything right away, instead reaching over and setting something on Ezio's chest. Ezio blinked, and looked down, to find a little furry white tiger plush looking back at him.

"Who's this?" Ezio asked, reaching up and taking hold of the tiger's front paws. It was awfully soft.

Caleb shrugged. "I just wanted to say thanks for telling Morgyn he's being a dumb-ass," he said. "You didn't have to do that, though."

"I know," Ezio answered. "But I wanted to. We don't need to be hurting each other for no reason right now, right?" Besides, it took a really dense mother fucker to miss how much Morgyn loved Caleb. Sometimes, Ezio wasn't sure if Caleb loved Morgyn as much in return, but that wasn't his business. Maybe that fell under Lilith's jurisdiction. He'd leave it to her, then.

Caleb didn't say anything right away, settling down on the bed next to him. He looked upset about something, and just when Ezio was going to ask him what was on his mind, Caleb looked over at him, and smiled.

"You know," he said, "I've been thinking, and I believe you're the glue that holds us together, Ezio."

Ezio blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Me?" he asked. "Oh don't be silly, it's probably Morgyn or something."

Caleb snorted. "Morgyn's not even good at holding _himself_ together, okay?"

Uh. Well. Where was the lie... "This is just... weird," Ezio said. "I don't really think of myself as terribly important, you know? I'm just here." And kind of a burden, and now he was going to be _more_ of one, because he was the idiot that took the lightning bolt.

Maybe he'd regret that for the rest of his life. And all the same, it didn't mean anything, because if he found himself in a position to need to do it again, he would in a heartbeat.

"You're more important than you know," Caleb said. "So I'm really glad you didn't stay gone. You'd really be missed."

Ezio tilted his head, raising an eyebrow. "Are you high again?" he asked.

Caleb snorted. "No," he said. "I just... feel like maybe no one tells you how important you are and what you mean to us often enough. And you keep saving me, so, I guess I'm hoping I can return the favour."

Ezio released a breath. "What'd I do this time?" he asked.

"Oh, you know," Caleb answered, "I was feeling awfully sorry for myself is all. You know, Miss Hell came back. We were talking for a while, before I killed her testing out that sunlight potion."

Ezio looked a hair concerned, at that. "You know she's full of _shit_ , Caleb," he said. "Don't listen to anything she said to you."

"I know," Caleb said. "But it doesn't stop the wondering, I guess. But enough about me, we only ever talk about _me_ , what about you? How are you?"

Ezio shook his head. "Fine enough," he said, looking down at the plush tiger. "I'm going to name it Kane."

Caleb raised an eyebrow. "Why Kane?" he asked.

"Kane sounds like the start of your name," he said. "And it's stripey, like a candy cane." Ezio paused a moment. "That's lame, isn't it?"

"Nope," Caleb answered, laughing quietly under his breath. "I was thinking it's cute."

Well, Ezio could be glad for that much. "By the way," Ezio said, "I'm sorry to have you in a hospital so much. It's probably really messing with your emotions. If you want to go home and stuff, I'll understand."

Caleb looked over at him, and shook his head. "No," he said. "I like being here with you. You worry me a lot, you know?"

"More than Morgyn?" Ezio asked.

"Definitely more than Morgyn," Caleb answered. "But also in a different way. Morgyn tends to scream his hurts out loud. There's never any question of whether and when Morgyn is in pain, because he makes it very obvious. I never wonder about it. With you, it's different. It's like you start to hurt, and you squirrel it away where no one can see it. Maybe because Morgyn's hurts are always more important. I do the same thing. I guess that's why I can see it when you do it. And I know hiding it only makes it hurt more. So, if you ever need to talk to someone, and can't talk to Drake or something, I'm always here. You know that, right?"

That was a strange way of looking at it, but all the same, Ezio couldn't tell him that he was wrong. Because he wasn't.

"Why did you do that?" Caleb asked softly. "Morgyn could've handled that lightning bolt a _lot_ better than you did. It'd still have done _damage_ , but not nearly so much."

Ezio released a sigh, sliding down in bed, eyes on the stuffed tiger plush. Idly, Ezio waved the plush's front legs in the air. Kane was a suitable name, he thought. "Do you really want to know?" Ezio asked. "Because I think I know why, now." It explained a number of things, as it turned out.

Caleb nodded. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't," he said.

"You know you're an empath, right?" Ezio asked.

"You've said that before," Caleb answered. "And I guess I've always been kind of sympathetic to others."

"No," Ezio said, "I mean _literally_. You're a _literal_ empath, Caleb. No one's taught you to control it, though. No one we know can, so the world simply dumps its information into your head. I know _one_ empathic ability. I'm only empathic with spirits. And Morgyn, technically, but semantics. I can teach you how to receive memories empathically from another person."

Caleb blinked, like that possibility had never crossed his mind, but Ezio supposed it hadn't. That was why Caleb was so easy to influence and _hurt_ , Ezio figured. He didn't know how to stop it from cascading into his head. He'd have to find another empath for that, but Ezio didn't know any. At least, that he _knew_ about.

"Okay," Caleb said, breathing out. "I assume there's a reason why _that_ in particular."

Ezio smiled, setting Kane on top of the bed frame, and sitting up. "I won't tell you why I did that," he said. "I'll show you, instead. Take my hands." Ezio held both of his hands out for Caleb.

Caleb hesitated, but only for a moment, before taking his hands, and Ezio started to teach him how to command empathic energy.

* * *

"You're not a _boy_ you idiot!'

"Girls are stupid, just ignore her."

"Come on, we'd better not go that way. Some kid got lost in there last week."

"Maybe she will too. Good luck being a boy next life, stupid!"

Rose could still hear them, laughing back there. One of them had thrown a couple rocks, like always they did, but Rosalie didn't pay it any mind, hurrying around the trees. Home was the _other_ direction, but they wouldn't come in the forest, either. Bad things tended to happen in the forest.

Rose shouldn't come here, either, but there was very little else to dissuade the village idiots from messing with Rose. Ever since Rose had said something about not being female, or not feeling female, the village boys got it in their heads it gave them the right to say nasty things and throw rocks. Sometimes, if Rose was in the wrong place at the wrong time in town, one or another of them tried to trap Rose down a back alley, and the brunet didn't _like_ the idea of that.

Rose had never told anyone. It was best not to start trouble.

Slowly, their voices went away, as Rose got further from them. And then the brunet slowed down, starting to take some care in stepping around the brush. The forest spirits wouldn't like Rose breaking every branch and root possible on the way. If the brunet started going _that_ way, then Rose would get home by-

Rose squealed, stopping and falling backward. The brunet hit the forest floor, scooting away from the boy that'd just _appeared_ out of nowhere.

"My dad said you're just confused," the boy said, looking down at the brunet. "How'd you get confused in the first place?"

Rose didn't answer right away. Then, in a small voice, the brunet said, "I'm not confused." Rose wasn't a girl. Or a boy, actually. Maybe that was what he meant, because _that_ was very confusing.

"Of course you are," the boy answered, stepping over to Rose and pulling the brunet up off the forest floor by one arm. "Girls are girls, and boys are boys, there's no crossing there. You're a _girl_."

"No I'm not," Rose answered, squirming around in his grip. "Let go."

"Girls are weak, anyway," the boy said. "If you're not a girl, _make me_."

Rose went to argue, but the boy's lips were suddenly against Rose's, and the squirming became even more frantic. And then, a sparkle and burst of light shot from Rose's hands. The boy immediately let go, and Rose hit the forest floor again.

Rose scurried backwards. The boy cursed.

"You cut my _arm_!" he shrieked. "Fucking _bitch_!"

But as he moved towards Rose, someone else moved to follow him, grabbing a stick off the forest floor and slamming it against the back of his head. The boy instantly dropped. Rose shrieked in surprise as he crashed into the debris beside the brunet, and then looked up at the second one in the forest with them.

The light wasn't on his face, but Rose thought he looked weirdly familiar. Then, he stepped a bit closer, around the tree, and into the light. Rose gasped. That wasn't a he at all, and she looked just like Rose. Well, a bit bulkier in build somehow, that was definitely different.

She? He? Held a hand out for Rose. "Are you okay?" the other asked, but it was a very masculine-sounding voice.

Rose stared for a long moment, and then reached up and took the offered hand. Effortlessly, the other pulled Rose up and back on stable footing again.

"I'm fine," Rose said. "Thank you. Who are you?"

The other looked confused. "Don't you know? You made me."

Rose frowned. "Made you?" Rose asked. "That's silly, I can't make whole people."

"Magic can," the other answered. "I am you."

"But you're not a girl," Rose answered.

The other smiled. "And neither are you."


	7. Moonland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, like, wow, do I have a story for you guys. I mean besides this one.
> 
> So, we had a cold snap, rained a lot and the temperature plummeted by like, idk, close to 30 degrees Fahrenheit, more like 40 degrees Fahrenheit at night, right, so it was cold and clammy and it utterly wrecked my wrist. I think I’m having early-onset arthritis issues or something.
> 
> (Supposedly, you can’t get arthritis from “light work” such as typing. Whoever said that has never seen me get into a prolonged 150 wpm caffeine-fuelled frenzy. Yes, my peak wpm is 154, and I can sustain it for at least a few minutes; more frequently it hovers around 110.)
> 
> So I had to take a break from writing Of Frost and Fire because it was just excruciatingly painful to do it. I spent a whole week playing the game, doing schoolwork, and wrapping my wrist in a heating pad/cracking it. It’s doing better now but I’m gonna give it another few days of rest after this, because it’s still annoyed at me. Phew.
> 
> Amid this break, I almost lost Of Frost and Fire. Like, all of its notes, outlines, all the writing I’ve done so far, which I have here and Wordpress at least, so I could’ve gotten all that back, but anyway, yeah, um. The hard drive I keep it on disconnected from my computer and would not reconnect. It just refused to do it. Ended up swapping the SATA cables in a fit of desperation with one of the other drives and it came back, thank you mother night, but lord that almost made me cry in a fit of panic. And then my game borked and I lost my tray!
> 
> So yeah, uhh, I’m probably still going to be really slow updating for a while, this chapter actually took like three days for me to write, maybe four, and I’m still not confident enough in it being okay to push my luck with it. The good news is, in that time, I’ve also figured some things out with the story and worked out kinks.
> 
> Also more vague religious shit here. I say vague because um, I’ve loosely based my concept of Sim faith on Christianity but just kind of tweaked it to suit my own beliefs, so yeah everything about their Watcher teachings is actually changed to suit what I think. I am Watcher, after all.
> 
> I do feel the need to explain that, so basically when I write, I write in the character’s POV. My personal beliefs and feelings don’t make it in, because they have no place there. Soo, don’t mistaken what my characters say as things that I believe. It’s what they believe. Not the same thing.
> 
> Anywayyssss, sorry to drop that bomb last chapter and then fall off the planet. Ezio outright states it in this chapter if you missed it. Also need to apologise, this chapter may repeat itself here and there and or lose trains of thought, because I had to write it in staggers. This is Return to Moonland; Au5. Which finally got released on Spotify I am way happy.

Sometimes, he wished he could simply turn it off, just like Morgyn had. His tendency to _feel_ things, that is. It was pesky and currently rather painful, and Ezio had little interest in hurting any more than he already had. He wondered, sometimes, if there was a way to control it, in a sense. To reach a point where you weren't bothered by anything anymore.

At the moment at least, it was quite bothersome and upsetting, and Ezio wasn't entirely sure what to do with all of it. He'd dealt with a great many things in his life, but this was new. Then again, he _probably_ should've expected it.

As always he did now, he was lying in bed, watching the breeze he couldn't feel, imagining what it sounded like out there. Ezio wasn't _okay_ , not really. He'd get there sooner or later. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, and he'd adjust to it just fine. Maybe someday, he wouldn't miss dancing so much, maybe it wouldn't matter anymore even if he did. Maybe Ezio just needed a little hope in his life somewhere, and was looking for it in strange places.

He rolled over in bed, curling up on one side slightly. As he did so, the door opened. Ezio just _knew_ it was Drake, so he didn't turn around, just waved a hand in the air. "I could use cuddles," he said.

Drake snorted. "Yeah," he said. "So could I." And with that, he shuffled around the cables and cords, not as many as there'd been before, and gingerly settled down next to Ezio.

Ezio shifted around and flipped over, lying against Drake instead.

"Sorry I'm not very good company right now," Ezio said.

Drake snorted again. "It's fine," he said. "I'm just upset I can't help you feel better."

"Just being here is good enough, you know," Ezio said, tilting his head back to look at him. "You don't have to do anything special."

Drake looked like he didn't believe a word Ezio was saying, but Ezio was used to that. He seemed to have a hard time believing someone could _want_ to be around him, but Ezio supposed he'd never put words to how he felt about him, either. Was that a personal failing? Maybe so.

"You know," Ezio said, "I'm a spell." A somehow very _sentient_ spell, but then Morgyn's _Duplicatos_ often were. None of them quite so much as Ezio was, but sentient enough. L tried to cast the spell one time and hers had come out with the mentality of a three year old. It was fascinating.

"A spell," Drake repeated. "And what kind of spell are you?"

Ezio smiled. " _Duplicato_ ," he answered. "Though Morgyn wasn't _intending_ to cast that, I don't think. And somehow, did it so well, I'm still here two hundred years later, very much sentient. So much so, I even fell in love."

Drake frowned. "That was a long time ago," he said. "And I'd say you're a bit beyond just being a spell, Ezio."

"That's what I am, isn't it?" Ezio said. "Morgyn cast a spell, and made me. I'm a spell."

"Maybe you _started_ as one," Drake answered, "but you've grown and changed since then. You're more than just a spell."

Ezio smiled, reaching up and resting his hand against Drake's cheek. "It isn't how you begin that makes you who you are, huh?" he asked.

"Of course," Drake said. "Things have changed. _You_ have changed."

Ezio looked up at him. It took a moment, but then the light dawned in Drake's eyes.

"Do you have to do that?" Drake asked.

"Do what?" Ezio asked in return.

"That's unfair," Drake answered. "It's hard to argue with you when you do that."

Ezio smiled. "I love you, you know," he said. "I've loved you for a long time, and I will still love you even after my last breath has gone. It wasn't anyone with a name that bothered to help me in France, Drake. It was _you_. And that says more about you than any name ever will."

He hated how much Drake carried with him that didn't _matter_ anymore. He hated how much Drake seemed to hate himself. And maybe he could never entirely take all of that away from him, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to try, either. Drake deserved better from himself than this.

"I'm sorry I keep making you live through my stupidity," Ezio said.

Drake snorted. "You wouldn't be you if you weren't like that," he said. "And I know Morgyn's important to you."

Ezio sighed. "I think the _way_ I was made, it gave me an incidental overprotective streak," he said. "Mostly it's over Morgyn, because Morgyn's normally the one that needs it, but sometimes I feel it, about you, and Cassandra." From time to time, Lilith and Caleb. It was no wonder Ezio was falling apart.

Even if Aine hadn't done anything at all, maybe he'd be dying either way.

Ezio moved, resting against Drake, his arms wrapping around him. And very quietly, he said, "Aine gave me my heart condition."

Drake was quiet, for a long moment, but his arms wrapped around Ezio, and for a moment, he just held on. Like he was falling apart inside, and Ezio's presence was the only thing keeping him stable. Maybe that was about right.

"Morgyn was right, then," Drake said. "To think you can be saved with magic."

"Yes," Ezio said. "But Morgyn doesn't know what she did." It was hard to undo things when you didn't know how they were done in the first place. Ezio didn't blame Morgyn for that, though likely, Morgyn did.

There was nothing that made someone turn to evil besides themselves. Aine had let the light in her heart, that drove away the darkness, become too weak. That was her choice. It had absolutely nothing to do with Morgyn. That was all Aine.

Drake seemed tense. Ezio wasn't surprised. He stayed quiet, for a long moment, and then backed up and looked up at Drake. "What would it take," he asked quietly, "to get you to turn me?"

Drake looked down at him. "You mean like into a vampire?" he asked.

Ezio nodded.

"I... figured you weren't interested in that," Drake said. "If you are, then, not very much."

"I know you don't like biting people," Ezio said. The first person he'd bitten was Ezio, even, back before they had words to describe what Drake was. Before they knew how incidentally inherently dangerous he was. They'd been talking, and then, Drake had sunk his teeth into Ezio's shoulder. But he didn't really hurt him, all the same.

Drake shook his head. "I don't," he said. "But I can make an exception for this. I'm just a little confused, I think."

Well, Ezio never had asked about it before, that was true. It'd come up in conversation here and there, but Ezio never reacted to it one way or another, and no one was even sure if it would help.

But they'd never know if it would unless they tried it, and at this point, Ezio was out of options. He couldn't move on until Morgyn died. He may as well get used to being here for a good long time, then.

Ezio drew a breath in. "I don't want to leave you," Ezio said. "You've been with me for two hundred forty years. The least I can do is stay here with you in return."

"Oh, Ezio..." Drake was quiet, for a moment, and then shook his head. "I didn't stay because I wanted anything in return," Drake said.

"I know," Ezio answered. "And that's why I want to return it. Because you stayed, even when you didn't have to, even when I was at my worst. When everyone else left, you were still here. Don't think I didn't see it, or that I didn't notice. When I need someone, it's always you that's here." And maybe it should've always been Morgyn, but, it wasn't. It was Drake, instead. It was always Drake.

Drake didn't say anything, though Ezio thought he looked a bit confused for a moment, in those softly glowing eyes. Ezio never wanted him to live through that. He certainly didn't want Drake to have to live through it again.

"You don't have to understand," Ezio said quietly, shifting a little closer and gently nuzzling Drake. "Just know that I love you, probably way more than I should, and I always will."

* * *

The fact Liberty had to work so much was beginning to grate Morgyn's nerves. Of course, maybe anything and everything was going to grate Morgyn's nerves about now, being realistic. Liberty's job just happened to be the most notable of those things that grated Morgyn's nerves.

The brunet sat in the little hospital chapel, watching the flames from the candles flicker and sway in the wax. Morgyn drew a breath in, shuffling over to them. A few had burnt out. Morgyn's green eyes flicked up at the crucifix on the wall above their shelf, and then held a hand out, pulling the smouldering embers in the candles back to life with magic.

Morgyn had come here off and on the entire time Ezio was here. It wasn't St. Mary's, but it had a good energy to it all the same, and Morgyn found it comforting. On the other hand, Morgyn wondered if it was possible the brunet _needed_ to go back to St. Mary's. It'd been a while since the sage had gone. In a way, St. Mary's had become a fourth home. Morgyn sure had a lot of homes for someone that never stayed in one place too long. Or maybe that was the only logical outcome.

The brunet stood watch over the candles in silence, for a time. And then green eyes flicked back up to the crucifix, turned around and checked for people, and activated _Transportalate_. The brunet disappeared in a shimmer of gold light, reappearing some ways down the street from St. Mary's. Morgyn adjusted the brunet's shirt, brushing bits of Mayor Whiskers' fur off the fabric, and then headed into the church.

And some part of the sage relaxed, stepping in the doors. The soft tinkling of the wind chimes well complimented the soft hymnal music playing in the background. Morgyn barely heard it, but could tell it was there.

Strangely, Morgyn was drawn to the organ at the side of the church, fingers running over the keys, as the brunet sat down on the chair beside it. Morgyn couldn't play, and had kind of always regretted that. But of course, Morgyn had no reason to need to know how to play. Ezio and Caleb played just fine enough.

"Well I'll be," a voice said to one side.

Morgyn looked up, finding the priest standing there. His name was Peter, Morgyn had learnt eventually, and unfortunately, he'd gone a bit grey with age.

"You still don't look a day older," Peter said. "But it's wonderful to see you again, Morgyn."

Ah. Come to think, the last time Morgyn had been by was probably several years ago by now. "Thank you," Morgyn said, smiling. "It is nice to see you, too. How are you?"

"Oh, I've had better days," Peter answered, sitting down next to Morgyn at the organ. "Time is kind to few of us. Very kind to you, at least."

Morgyn smiled. "I have a rigid moisturising regiment," the brunet said.

Peter laughed. "Oh come now, shouldn't lie in the house of Watcher," he said. "You do _magic_. I've known that for a while."

Morgyn's head tilted. "You have?" the brunet asked.

"It's the only explanation for how you come and go in gold light the way you do," Peter answered. "But I won't tell. Some things are not for others to know, and there are many of those in the world that would try to use your magic for evil or selfish reasons."

"You don't think there's something wrong with me?" Morgyn asked. "Magic isn't well-received normally."

Peter shook his head. "Magic is simply a term for things we don't understand," Peter said. "I'm sure there are ways magic works that make as much sense as any science we know. But remember what I told you, when you first came here? Watcher doesn't make mistakes. Humans do. You do magic because Watcher wills you to."

Morgyn released a sigh, looking down at the keys.

Peter smiled. "What's on your mind?" he asked. "It's been a while, I was starting to worry about you."

Morgyn looked over at him, the wisps of grey that framed his face, marked with lines. He'd lived a strong life, Morgyn thought, and even in his twilight years, was still here to guide and offer wisdom when he could.

"My brother," Morgyn said. "He died, for a few minutes. I've been praying at the hospital chapel, but it just didn't feel like enough. So I came home."

Peter reached over, enveloping one of Morgyn's hands in both of his own. And then he held Morgyn's left hand up. "And what is this?" he asked, nodding at the sparkle of pink.

Morgyn smiled softly. "He asked me to marry him," Morgyn answered. "And I said yes." Morgyn's gaze narrowed, watching the light scatter and dance in the ring.

"But?" Peter asked. "I know that look in your eyes."

Morgyn sighed. "I love him," Morgyn said. "More than I love anyone that isn't Ezio. But it feels like I can't love him _enough_. Like he needs something, that I can't give to him. Maybe something I don't even know what is. It hurts."

Peter took a breath in, thinking about it. "I've known you long enough," he said, "to know that you have some _very_ deep hurts. I would never ask about them, but I do know they're there. And I know that, sometimes, when someone has deep hurts, they can cause that someone to throw that pain at others without intending to. You are a strong-willed person, a free-spirit, independent, perhaps to a fault. I am worried that, in time, even if you don't _now_ , someday you will begin to feel trapped, and struggle with it. I am worried that, you are not ready to love someone else. Morgyn, you don't even love _you_."

Morgyn released another sigh, and deflated slightly. "I don't know how to," Morgyn said. "How to love me, or someone else."

Peter smiled. "I think you came here, so long ago, because you began on a journey of learning who you are, and accepting that Morgyn. But I don't think you ever did, in the end. Maybe, it is time you do."

"How do I stop hurting him?" Morgyn asked.

Peter frowned. "If you are hurting him, and don't know how to stop," he said, "maybe you should let him go, even if just for now."

"And break off an engagement?" Morgyn asked, incredulous. "Isn't that like, a really bad thing to do?"

Peter shook his head. "The teachings imply that we should follow through with what we start," he said, "but I don't believe Watcher intends for it to be at the cost of hurting someone that we are supposed to love, Morgyn. He will understand. And someday, when you're in a better place, and the hurts in you aren't hurting those around you anymore, then maybe you can try again."

That sounded fine, Morgyn thought, deflating again, turning towards the keys, and gently pushing one down. But Morgyn was afraid. That if the brunet let him go, there would be no reason for Morgyn to grow or change, and the only thing Morgyn would ever be able to do without him is hurt people.

* * *

Lilith was early, and probably a little bit _too_ early. But of course, Lilith had blocked out more time that was necessary for this, likely because she was nervous and little other reason. There was no reason to be so nervous. Lilith was the one that'd _asked_ , even, so it seemed silly for her to be so nervous now.

Still, it was what it was. Lilith paced around outside the coffee shop, trying not to internally freak out too much, because working herself up into a nervous tizzy before this seemed rather dumb to her. Emilia didn't _bite_ , probably, and they were just a couple friends going out for coffee. Mostly because Lilith needed a break from tracking Sarnai, who, by the way, had been resurrected so that was nice.

And Elle and Inna had decided she was queen of Forgotten Hollow (whatever that meant anyway), and dealing with the mess of problems Vladislaus had left behind sucked up a lot of her time. It wasn't even that Lilith couldn't _deal_ with all of it, it was just that there was so _much_ to deal with, she ended up walking away from it all more often than she'd have preferred.

Sometimes, though, things just became too much. It was what it was. And it was probably best that she walked away from it from time to time, or she was going to end up doing things she might seriously regret.

Amid her pacing around outside the coffee shop, she smelled a floral scent she'd come to associate with Emilia. It was kind of like irises, she thought. Or maybe it was more like crocuses. Both? Maybe it was actually both.

Lilith turned around, just in time for Emilia to trip on the sidewalk. Lilith's eyes went wide, and she held her arms out. Emilia fell into her grasp instead of hitting the concrete, and Lilith stood her back up and made sure she wasn't going to fall again.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Emilia answered, smiling. "Thank you. Nice reflexes."

Lilith laughed. "Yeah, kind of comes with the territory I guess." Something about being a vampire, it tended to make your reflexes sort of impressive, yeah. "Ready to go in?"

Emilia nodded. "Yeah," she said. "And hopefully I won't trip on the entryway."

Lilith shook her head, smiling, and then scooted ahead of Emilia to open the door (and low-key make sure she _didn't_ trip on the entryway). Emilia looked amused, and walked up the short step and into the cafe. Lilith followed behind only a second later.

"How's life?" Emilia asked, taking a place in line.

Lilith shrugged. "It's been better," she said. "But things are kind of starting to calm down. Kind of."

Emilia tilted her head. "How's Ezio?" she asked.

"Crippled, it'd seem," Lilith answered. "His heart stopped for a few minutes, messed up his circulation and caused a small stroke. He's paralysed in one leg, the other's got partial paralysis. Mostly it means it's weak, and he should be able to get around still, it'll just be harder."

Emilia frowned, and then looked down at the floor. "That's..." She trailed off, like she couldn't think of the words.

And Lilith couldn't, either. Ezio didn't deserve this. But a lot of people that experienced bad things, they didn't deserve them either. No amount of Lilith being upset about it would change anything, so she tried not to be upset about it. It was wasted energy, energy she could be using for something else.

Bad things happened to everyone. It just seemed there were a lot of bad things recently.

"Do you guys know what you're going to do now?" Emilia asked.

Lilith shrugged. "Cassandra and Drake are looking for somewhere bigger and more accessible to move to. I've been debating moving out myself."

"Where would you go?" Emilia asked.

"Forgotten Hollow," Lilith answered. "My sire disappeared some time ago, and left behind a very empty mansion on a hill. I suppose _someone_ may as well live there."

"I can't imagine that," Emilia said. "Living alone somewhere like Forgotten Hollow. It'd be so quiet."

"Isn't it really quiet in Glimmerbrook?" Lilith asked, smirking slightly.

"I mean, I guess," Emilia said, looking a little confused. "But there's a lot of wildlife and bugs to make up for all the silence. I guess it isn't quiet, it's just loud in a slightly different way."

"You like outdoors things then?" Lilith asked. The way she said that made her wonder.

"Yeah," Emilia said. "Well, mostly I like plants. I'd like to go into botany when I'm graduated from university. Whenever that will be."

"Soon enough, I'm sure," Lilith said.

Emilia smiled. "Glad someone's got a little confidence in me," she said. "I have precisely none."

Lilith shrugged one shoulder, stepping forward as the line moved. "It's not so hard," she said. "You've not proven stupid, or anything, that's a good start." But then, even if she _had_ proven not so quick witted, there were ways of overcoming that anyway.

"I guess I haven't," Emilia answered, following Lilith closer to the counter. "You know, my parents always told me, I wasn't terribly pretty, so I'd better be smart, since I wasn't getting anywhere on just looks. But it always feels like I'm not terribly smart, either."

Lilith stared at her, for a long moment, and then shook her head. "Never introduce me to your parents," she said. "I may punch them. _Hard_."

Emilia looked confused. "Why?" she asked.

Lilith raised an eyebrow. "Because that isn't something you tell your _kids_!" she said.

"I don't know," Emilia said, smiling wistfully to herself, and looking down at the floor. "They were kind of right, at least."

Lilith was definitely going to murder her parents.

* * *

She'd come home long enough to stand on the porch, look upset, and burst into tears. And she wasn't going to stay very long, but Bella had insisted she come in and have tea. Bella always said tea gave answers where others gave silence.

Maybe if you were a highly sensitive medium-psychic, but for Cassandra, the tea was as silent as everyone and everything else was. But she'd been expecting as much. Maybe there weren't many answers that could be had with this anyway.

It wasn't even that she hadn't expected this, to some extent. Ezio had died for several minutes, and while dead, he wasn't breathing, of course. It stood to reason it'd do some damage sooner or later. It was just a harder reality to deal with than Cassandra had been expecting.

She'd say that it shouldn't have changed much at all, but she knew that was a lie. Of course it did. The very core of how Ezio lived had changed, of course that had shaken some things up. It was only logical. And of course, she and Drake were impacted, because they cared about and for him.

She and Drake had been looking for an affordable house with the space they'd need for a few days now, and come up with nothing. Well, there were a _few_ options, but they were notably just outside their pricing range. Drake was determined to start publishing more books and getting more in royalties coming in, so that Ezio didn't have to worry about anything related to bills. Cassandra thought perhaps she could paint more. She hadn't been, since Ezio had disappeared, and she hadn't made any money in a while now.

There were things that could be done about this, and for this, it just felt like it was all hopeless.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Bella asked, folding onto the couch across from Cassandra in the living room. "Ezio has one serious disability now. It'll impact just about every aspect of life."

Truthfully? She had no idea. But she was going to try anyway, because she loved him. And it wasn't a conditional sort. It wasn't, 'I love you up to and until the point where you need me even more than you did before. And then when that happens, I'll walk away, and no one can call it selfish even though it kind of is, because it's understandable instead.' That was what she thought.

No. She loved him. So much so, she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. Things would be difficult now, going forward. But between the three of them, her, Ezio, and Drake, they'd make it work. So far, they'd made it through everything else the universe threw their way. This would be no different.

They'd make it through this. Just like they'd made it here to begin with.

"It'll take some adjustment," Cassandra said, staring down at the tea in her lap. "But I think we can do it. We've gotten through worse things. It'll just take time, and patience." Fortunately, Cassandra had never been lacking in patience.

"Well," Bella said, setting her own cup of tea onto the coffee table, "I suppose we'll see how it goes."

"You sound like you don't believe it," Cassandra said.

Bella shrugged. "It is one thing to declare your everlasting love to someone," Bella said. "Words are easy to say, Cassandra. It's a whole other deal to try handling a visible, crippling issue of this particular impact."

Cassandra stared at her for a long moment, and then shook her head. "It's not like I don't _know_ that," she said. And she did know it. "And yes, it hurts, to see him this way, not because this is hard for me, but because it's hard for _him_ , and I wish more than anything it wasn't like this. But I still feel the same way about him that I did two weeks ago. That won't change, not because of something like this."

If anything, maybe she felt a little stronger about it. Maybe she loved him, if that was possible, a little more than before. Maybe it only felt that way. It wasn't like Cassandra had recently had the time to examine her own feelings for very long, between one thing and another.

That was probably at least part of her mother's point. Cassandra still found it irritating. Ezio needed her, and Cassandra wasn't going to just _walk away_ from him when he needed her. He was also the first person that had _ever_ truly needed her, in any capacity, and maybe it was strange or wrong to base an entire relationship on that. She didn't know. She honestly didn't care. What they had, it worked for them, and maybe everyone else needed to butt out of it.

Bella released a sigh, crossing one leg over the other. Then, she smiled. "I'm not trying to be negative," she said. "It's just that you have a notable habit of being perhaps too optimistic. You get your head lost in the clouds, but the real world is down here, and sometimes it isn't quite so simple as you'd like to believe it is."

"I'm not with this," Cassandra said. "I think I want to marry him someday."

"Wait, what?" Bella asked. "Cassandra, you've only known each other-"

"For a little over two years, mom," Cassandra interrupted, then took a drink of tea and set it down on the coffee table. "He's been around a lot longer than I've been talking about him."

"Why didn't you mention him before?" Bella asked.

"Are you kidding?" Cassandra asked. "And risk dad having a heart attack because I met a boy? Please no."

Bella sighed. "I guess you're right," she said. "Though your father's taking it notably better than _I_ am."

Yeah, that was because Mortimer wasn't trying to control the situation, he was just rolling with however Cassandra said it was. Cassandra appreciated that, really.

But she understood her mother's concerns. What she wanted, it was a lot to decide out of the blue, and Cassandra wouldn't pretend that it wasn't. But her feelings for Ezio hadn't waned at all, only grown over time, and she had the feeling they'd never start to dim. Or if they did, it was a long time in the future.

Some part of her felt like it was somewhat selfish of her, to want to stay with him. Maybe the ugly truth was that he didn't need _her_ , he needed Drake, and Cassandra was not Drake. Maybe she _should_ be unhappy that she was secondary in his life. Drake always came first.

But then she was with him, just them, and he looked at her like she made the sun rise every day, and she felt like, even if just right then, that it was true. Maybe she didn't make _the_ sun rise every day, but she seemed to make _his_ rise.

"Whatever happened to his boyfriend, anyway?" Bella asked. "I vaguely remember you mentioning he had one."

Cassandra smiled, picking her tea back up. "They're still dating," she said.

Bella looked perplexed. "So you're the side-chick?" she asked.

"No," Cassandra answered. "I'm the also lover."

* * *

The bill was paid. Drake asked about the service dog situation, and the hospital had told him they were on the list for one, at least. Drake asked them to take them _off_ the list, however. Ezio may not end up needing one after some time, and it would likely make Ezio feel a lot better to figure it out on his own instead. And if he didn't end up needing one later, Drake thought it'd make him feel bad about having one when he didn't truly have a need for one.

In the meantime, the house hunting with Cassandra was slow-going. There were a lot of snags they kept hitting along the search, but that was an unfortunate side-effect, Drake figured. They'd get around it eventually, he was sure. For now, though, it was a bit frustrating to feel like they were getting somewhere and then suddenly not be anymore.

Ezio was sleeping, so Drake was out in the hallway with his laptop, trying to get further on this book. If he could get a steady, decent level of royalties coming in, then maybe it'd take some of the concern off Ezio's shoulders. He tended to worry perhaps too much about money, but it made a lot of sense. It wasn't like Ezio hadn't spent far too long out here with nothing, but they weren't ending up on the street, that was absolutely for sure.

Drake tilted his head at the laptop screen, trying to figure out how to word something. Then, he felt someone huff behind him, and jumped slightly.

"You could just call it a berry," Kassander's voice said, "and let the reader fill in what kind."

Drake glanced at him over his shoulder, and then made a face. "Yeah, I guess so," he said. "I never know when it needs more detail and when to hand-wave it."

"It's a balance," Kassander said, shuffling around the couch and sitting beside him. "There needs to be enough information to get the idea across, and leave out enough to fuel the reader's imagination. It's rough."

"Yep," Drake said, sighing and falling back on the couch. "I have a hard time with that balance."

"How's Ezio?" Kassander asked.

Drake shrugged. "He sleeps a lot," he said. "Makes sense, he's still healing from a lot of things, and I feel like he woke up too early. But apparently his body thinks it can handle it. I guess it's my job to just accept it." It'd seem that way.

Kassander smiled. "He's going to be alright," he said.

Drake glanced at him, and then back to the laptop screen. "You know," he said, "with you, it's sometimes hard to tell if you're saying that to make me feel better, or because you know something."

"I always know something," Kassander answered.

"Exactly," Drake answered wryly.

Kassander laughed quietly under his breath. "Try not to worry so much," he said. It was a _try_ not to, Drake noticed, but of course Kassander knew that Drake was awfully paranoid and had a hard time not worrying. "Everything's as it should be."

"You look sad when you say that," Drake said.

"Of course," Kassander answered. "Things like this, they're difficult to deal with for anyone. But for him... you know." Kassander was quiet a moment, and then said, "Drake, don't leave him to the roaring in his head too long."

Drake looked down at the floor. "I try not to," he said. "He needs to talk about it, I can feel it, but I can't make him."

"No," Kassander said. "But you can talk first, maybe. See if that'll get him to. Sometimes, you have to point out the door before someone realises it's open."

Yeah, maybe.

"But," Kassander added, "I want you to remember that you can't make Ezio do anything. He needs to decide to do things on his own, and he may never. It doesn't mean that you failed."

Drake wondered about that. Ezio was only like this because of Jean in the first place. It was hard to say whether or not Ezio would've turned out that way eventually either way, but Drake never did feel like he'd done enough to save Ezio from that mess. Maybe he'd always carry some kind of blame for that in his heart and by now, it hardly even mattered. Still, he felt it, he thought it, all the time.

"I guess," Drake answered.

Kassander released a sigh. "I mean it," he said. "You can't help someone that isn't ready to be helped, Drake."

He knew that. It was logical. Until Ezio decided that he needed someone else, that he couldn't wade through the hurt in his heart on his own, decided to let someone else in, Drake was stuck on the outside, watching him smile and fall apart all at once.

It hurt him, every time Ezio smiled to hide his pain. And all the same, Drake had long figured out there wasn't anything to do for it, anyway.

"You should come home from time to time," Kassander said. "It'd be nice to see you more often."

Drake glanced over at him, and shrugged. "You're always busy," he said.

Kassander smiled, breathing out softly. "I'm never too busy for my kids."

Well, that was true enough. Kassander always managed to find the time for the number of homeless kids he adopted over the years. Drake had met quite a number of them, and the number of them was always a bit astounding.

But then, when you had as much wealth, built over centuries, as Kassander, Hasan, and Sandalio did, maybe there was nothing to _do_ with it but improve the lives of others. Kassander did that by adopting, it would seem. It worked out well.

Wait, he'd just said that like-

"I'm... not one of those?" Drake said, his tone making it sound like a question.

Kassander didn't answer that directly, simply looking terribly amused. "Sure," he said. "Oh, I meant to give you this before I left." Kassander reached into a pocket, pulling out an envelope, and a keyring with two keys on it. "This is the front door, and this is the back."

Drake frowned, as Kassander dropped the envelope and keys into his lap. "Wait, what's this for?" he asked.

"Open the envelope, and you'll find out," Kassander answered, standing up.

"You paid the bill, too, didn't you?" Drake asked, looking up at him. "Did you just get us a _house_?"

"Just worry a little less," Kassander said, "instead of arguing about things that are already done and over with. And _come home_ more. Sheesh. But I do have to go, so, I'll see you later, maybe when you come by Windenburg instead, yeah?"

"Maybe, yeah," Drake answered. He, Cassandra, and Ezio still had a date to go on and they'd never made it.

"Alright, you take care," Kassander said, leaning over and briefly hugging Drake before he straightened back up, and walked off.

And Drake was left mostly very much confused. But then, Kassander always _had_ been a very perplexing creature. Some things, it'd seem, never changed.


	8. When You Finally Trust Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot to say with this one. I had a really crappy couple weeks and I’m tired and everything sucks. Fell a bit behind on school again, but that’s okay. With my wrist a mess, I’ve mostly just been playing the game (and FFXII), and resting my wrist. But it seems to be okay-ish again, finally, I’ve gotten compression gloves to help with it too. NaNo’s right around the corner as well, so that’ll be fun. I should hopefully get some decent progression going on OFAF again during November, so, that’ll be nice.
> 
> Like, I know there’s no rush or anything, but listen, I want to be free of this fucking thing already. I’ve been working on it for almost a year now and I’m … tired of it, tbh. I want to reach the end.
> 
> Anyway, this one’s a lot of angst and pain bc Ezio randomly turned the most valid he’s ever been in his life, and a sudden revelation.
> 
> Let You Down; Three Days Grace.
> 
> Edit: Okay. Yeah I know this thing's not really properly ended. For quite some time now I've had serious issues with the outlines being set up one way and the actual chapters going a completely different way? At this point it's derailed itself so badly, I can *probably* save it but the simple fact is it'd be a lot easier and probably turn out way better if I just scrapped it and started over at the beginning.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone that's stuck with OFAF this long and I'm... honestly sorry, lol hope to see you again in other works! I'll likely be taking a break from the All's saga and be writing Corazon for NaNoWriMo this year, so stay tuned for that. It's all pure pointless Calio fluff. The redo take 3 of this will likely be called Smoulder, but I don't expect to get started on it until next year.
> 
> Edit 2: I guess I lied. I've been continuing it at sims.kalvares.com.

The only thing he could say he knew for sure was that the house was in Brindleton Bay. Drake wasn't so sure about moving Ezio out of San Myshuno, given he seemed to love the city so much, but Drake supposed visiting it wasn't entirely out of the question. And besides, maybe the close proximity to the ocean would be good for him, too. Ezio did also love the ocean, and maybe the change to a slower-paced environment would be good, too. Maybe for all of them, really.

Drake shuffled down the hospital hallway, back towards Ezio's room. Cassandra didn't wander far from it anymore, and neither did Drake under most circumstance. He sat down next to her. "How's everything?" he asked.

She looked up at him, and shrugged. "As well as can be expected," she said. "Ezio's still kind of depressed, but he's trying."

Maybe that was the best they could expect of him, anyway. Drake sighed, and then held out the house deed. "Kassander dropped this in my lap," he said. "I don't know anything about it, except that it's furnished and paid for in full, and in Brindleton Bay."

Cassandra raised an eyebrow. "Kassander bought us a _house_?" she asked.

"Seems that way," Drake answered. But that was what Kassander did. Drake didn't know for sure how much money he had, but it was a lot. Strange, because they didn't live lavishly or anything. The Essairs lived in a modest-looking two-storey home on a humbly-sized plot of land in the middle of nowhere-ahem, he meant, Windenburg.

Same difference.

"I was going to go look at it, and see what needs to be done with it to make it suitable, or if we were going to just rent it out or something," Drake said. "Want to come with?" If nothing else, maybe going somewhere besides the hospital would be good for them both.

Cassandra tilted her head, and then nodded. "That sounds like fun," she said. "Or more fun than sitting here is. Caleb's in there with Ezio right now, so he won't notice we're gone."

Caleb and Ezio seemed to be talking a lot more. It was probably a good thing. Ezio had a way of helping people without meaning to, and no one questioned whether Caleb needed the incidental help. Of course he did. And no one knew Morgyn better than Ezio.

"Maybe we can go and come back without him knowing we left, then," Drake said.

Cassandra nodded, standing up and holding her hand out. "Yeah that was my thought," she answered. "Teleporting, I presume?"

"Of course," Drake answered, taking her hand. The two of them wandered down the hallway, and around a corner, and then disappeared in a burst of smoke. And when they materialised again, Cassandra didn't let his hand go. They made their way down the street, as Drake followed the map on his phone to the house.

What they found when they got there was not quite what Drake had been expecting. Cassandra seemed less caught off-guard by it, looking up at it appreciatively. The house, or, rather it was a mansion, sat at the end of a street with no other houses on it, backed onto a cliff that overlooked the sea.

Judging by the pathways of sand around it, the mansion's grounds had direct access to the beach below. The front entryway had a ramp beside the stairs already, so that was at least one less thing to worry about. It was so _big_ , Drake could hardly believe it. This place had to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and Kassander had just _handed_ them the keys like it was nothing.

He was never going to understand that guy.

"Well, looks like the entryway ramps are taken care of at least," Cassandra said. "Looks big enough for us all, too. Come on, let's go see the inside."

Right. There was an inside to see, yeah. Drake followed her up the stairs, and unlocked the door. It took a bit of searching to find the lights, but Drake flicked them on. The entryway had a staircase in it, a little L shaped set of stairs with a lift to one side of it. Drake breathed out, seeing it, and then glanced down the hallway.

"Stair lift," Cassandra said, "check... I'm going this way." She turned to the right, and Drake nodded, turning to the left. There was a dining area and what looked like a bar. Caleb would enjoy that, and maybe Morgyn would stop running off to get drunk where no one could keep an eye on the idiot.

Then, there was a bathroom, with hand railings against the walls, and a bedroom. At least there was one bedroom on the ground floor. If Ezio found that easier, that would be a solid enough option.

Drake took a breath in, surprised to find it a little more difficult than usual. He raised a hand, quickly wiping away the tears, before turning around and going back the way Cassandra had. She was in the kitchen, running a hand over the granite counter-tops. There was a breakfast bar in the centre.

"Caleb will like this," Cassandra said. "Stainless steel, brand new. This is a trash chute, too, I think it routes outside."

Drake released a breath. Sure, Kassander was a nice person and liked to do things for people, but this seemed like a little much. And they hadn't even gone upstairs yet. He wasn't sure if he could _handle_ the upstairs.

Cassandra turned around, and then smiled softly. "Hey," she said, "this solves our housing problem pretty neatly. I found the listing for it, and it's got five bedrooms. It should be more than enough space."

Drake shook his head. "It's way too much," he said.

"It'd be rude to refuse, I should think," Cassandra said. "And the less time we spend on trying to find somewhere to go, the better. The hospital won't want to keep him forever, and all that."

No. It was more likely they'd want him out of the hospital as quickly as possible, because hospitals never had the beds for the number of patients they had, Drake knew that. She was right, and this was probably better than they could've found on their own.

Drake just didn't understand how Kassander could just throw away all this money on them like that. It was for Ezio, most likely. That was the only thing that made sense.

* * *

It likely wasn't surprising, when finally Liberty wasn't working anymore, and Morgyn insisted on taking up a lot of her time. She didn't seem to mind it any, though some part of the sage felt like it _had_ to be annoying. But, bless her, if she was annoyed by it, she didn't let it show.

She sat on the back steps of the hospital, watching Morgyn pace around. Things were a mess right now, and to say the least of it, Morgyn's nerves were frayed and the pacing was most likely inevitable. Everything felt like it was turning out wrong all at once, and Morgyn wasn't sure what to do with the feeling.

And of course, instead of thinking about it too much, Morgyn was trying to run from it in the only way the sage knew how.

"I used to have an easier time of this," Morgyn said. "Would you believe it, when we were kids, Ezio was the wild one, and I was calm." Too calm. Come to think of it, Morgyn wasn't sure one could call that _calm_ so much as... _oppressed_. Maybe there was a very notable difference that made a good deal of impact.

"It's not hard," Liberty said. "Ezio calmed down, you started spreading your wings and figuring out who you are. And then got _proud_ of who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it does have a nice side-effect of ruining your being infallible."

It would seem so. Morgyn loosed a huff, stopping in the pacing. "I'm never going to get this," the brunet said. "My emotions are doomed to rule me for the rest of my life and I'm just stuck with it."

Liberty snorted, leaning back on her hands. "With an attitude like that, you are," she said. "But it doesn't have to be that way. You don't _have_ to let them take over your life. I don't."

Morgyn frowned, turning to look over at her. She sure was pretty calm, Morgyn had to admit that. Even... at the bar that one night, Morgyn only kind of remembered it, but the sage did remember how well she'd kept her emotions from taking over in the moment.

How did she really feel under that? And why was it so much easier to wonder that with her, than it was with Caleb? Maybe that meant something. What it meant, Morgyn had no idea. Maybe it was because Morgyn was trying to think about other people for Caleb's sake already. But then, even before now, Morgyn vaguely remembered asking Liberty how she was a few times and not having to _think_ so hard about it.

Maybe Morgyn was right, and the only thing the sage would ever be able to do is hurt people. Morgyn had been considering going back to magic realm a lot recently, and staying there. If Morgyn hadn't _been_ here in the first place, Sarnai wouldn't have ever gotten to Ezio to begin with. Ezio wouldn't have jumped in front of a lightning bolt to save Morgyn, and he wouldn't be partially paralysed, on top of _everything else_ he'd lived through.

And walking away from him, it would hurt of course. Of course it would. But this cycle seemed to have no interest in stopping until Morgyn made it.

"How?" Morgyn asked. "How do you manage not to let things bother you?" There had to be some secret to it. Or maybe it was something only very old vampires and Asians could do.

Liberty shrugged. "I'll tell you something I told Caleb," she said. "Pain is inevitable. But it's your choices that decide whether you suffer from it or not. Bad things happen, things hurt, that's life. But if you change your attitude about it, suddenly it's not so bad. Change the things you can change. Accept the things you can't. And learn to tell the difference."

Morgyn sighed. It'd seem that telling the difference part was something the brunet was going to struggle with. That likely wasn't really surprising. Once Morgyn had gained wings, it became difficult to imagine that there was anywhere those wings couldn't take the sage.

But there were places like that. Places that were beyond even Morgyn. Things that Morgyn still had no power over. The brunet didn't like those things, didn't like knowing those places existed and those things were there.

"I don't know how," Morgyn said. "How to stop fighting."

Liberty shook her head. "Not stop," she said. "Just change the how, and what. Pick your battles better. Morgyn, you've mastered everything except yourself, but when you master yourself, that's when you're truly invincible. No one can take that away from you."

Morgyn was quiet, for a moment, and then the sage looked down at the grass. "I think I'm fighting _her_ ," Morgyn said.

"Aine?" Liberty asked.

"Yeah," Morgyn answered. "She put a lot of weird ideas into my head, ideas I didn't realise were weird until more recently. Ezio always said they were, but, I was never good at listening."

Liberty smiled, standing up and crossing over to stop in front of Morgyn, and take both of the sage's hands in hers. "You know what she sounds like, I assume," Liberty said. "Time to block her out, and leave only you. Morgyn, don't let her turn you into what she is."

Morgyn smiled. "How do you do this?" the sage asked. "This, where somehow you find just the right words to make me feel like I can do anything."

"It's not so hard," Liberty said. "It helps you're pretty amazing."

"I don't feel amazing," Morgyn answered softly.

"Greatness probably doesn't often _feel_ great," Liberty said. "But think of it this way. Though there are hard days, days where you feel like you're not good enough or will never figure something out, you've made it this far. Two hundred and seventy years is a whole lot of bad days and tough stuff you've made it through anyway."

Morgyn released a breath. "It'd be easier," the sage said, "to do it Aine's way. It would be _so_ much easier."

"Would you be able to live with it, if you did it Aine's way?" Liberty asked. "Anything worth anything is worth the work and the time."

Yeah, Morgyn knew that. The sage glanced down at their joined hands. Then, one hand let go of hers, and reached up to brush her hair out of her face. The light shimmered in the green, but sparkled for a moment and then vanished in the darkness of the brown. It was such a dark hue, but strangely magnetic, more so than the green one was. Morgyn didn't understand it.

Maybe it was something that wasn't meant to be understood.

Liberty reached up with the hand Morgyn had let go of, taking that hand back in hers, and gently moving it away from her hair. "Don't do that," she said. "Next thing you know, you'll be kissing me like we're going to die tomorrow."

"And that's a bad thing?" Morgyn asked.

"Yes it is," Liberty answered. "I'm trying not to let things get _weird_."

"Maybe I want things to get weird," Morgyn said.

"Maybe I don't," Liberty answered. "Morgyn, you and Caleb are on shaky ground right now, and I know this didn't come out of nowhere, I just don't want us to rush into something because you're afraid of being alone."

That wasn't-okay that was _part_ of why, but Morgyn was quite sure it wasn't the _only_ reason why the sage wanted her. It'd been a long time since Morgyn had felt this connected to Caleb and, in thinking of it, it was hard to say Morgyn ever had. Caleb never said the _wrong_ things, it was just... different, with her.

And what did that even _mean_ , anyway? Now Morgyn was starting to wonder what the brunet actually felt for him at all. Because maybe it wasn't what Morgyn had first thought. Of course, the sage could be wondering for decades and still never have an answer. Morgyn wasn't good even with the easy emotions.

"I don't know why," Morgyn said. "And I can't tell you that isn't why. But I do know my heart wants _you_. And maybe it won't always, but it does now. It's you that I reach for when I need something to hold onto. But I don't want to hurt him. And then I think, I will anyway, if I don't let him go."

Liberty breathed out softly, glancing down. "You know," she said, "Caleb suggested a poly. He seems to think I'm in love with you."

"Are you?" Morgyn asked.

Liberty shook her head, and then reached up and gently rested a hand on Morgyn's cheek. "It doesn't matter if I am or not," she said. "What you need right now isn't a lover to complicate things even more. You need a friend. That is what I will be."

* * *

"I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to take this queen business," Lilith said, over there rummaging around in her closet. She'd taken a strange, sudden interest in what was in her closet recently. Caleb could only imagine it had something to do with a certain clumsy blonde girl...

Caleb flipped the page, idly skimming through a magazine. He didn't terribly care what was in it, but it was something to do besides mope. Even as they should've been closer than they'd ever been, it felt like he and Morgyn had drifted further apart, instead.

And now Morgyn had stopped talking to him about the things that went on in Morgyn's head. It was obvious there were things still in there, either because Morgyn was just that easy for him to read, or because his empathy thing was helping, and the sage said nothing about it.

Caleb didn't believe for one second that there wasn't anything to talk about. Morgyn always had _something_ , it came with the territory of having as many feelings as Morgyn did and zero idea of what to do with them. The sage had just stopped talking.

Caleb kind of wondered if now Morgyn was talking to Liberty. Maybe that was for the best. The vampire had been being Morgyn's emotion processor for probably way too long anyway. As for Caleb, he'd started talking to Ezio.

And it was strange, but even in his own head, he could admit that Caleb's relationship with Ezio was, and had always been, what his relationship with Morgyn should have been, and for whatever reason, wasn't. Maybe it wasn't anyone's fault. Maybe it just was what it was. It wasn't like Ezio needed him or anything. Caleb had no place in his life whatsoever.

It was just nice of him, to make him feel like maybe he did.

"Are you and Morgyn doing okay?" Lilith asked.

Caleb looked up at her, and then shrugged. "Fine enough, why?" he asked.

Lilith released a quiet breath. "Just seems like you two aren't talking as much anymore," she answered. "And I know you well enough to know you're upset about something."

Tch, yeah. He was upset because once Morgyn was everything he'd ever wanted, and he didn't know if he'd changed, or Morgyn had. Or maybe nothing had changed at all, and that was the problem. Caleb didn't want to say anything to Morgyn about it, not right now. Morgyn needed the support, and even if they were just friends, it wasn't like Caleb _wouldn't_ be here to support the sage, it was just that...

Maybe it was just that Caleb was still afraid to let go.

"You know," Caleb said, "I'm starting to think maybe I never really loved Morgyn like that. If maybe it was a different sort of thing, and I decided it was something that it wasn't, because Morgyn's my best friend and I could've been happy that way. Or at least, convinced myself I was."

Lilith loosed a breath through her nose. "Why am I always getting the ones like that?" she asked. "Emilia said almost the same thing about Darrel. Look, here's a question for you. When was the last time you did something because _you_ wanted to do it? Not because you thought it was the least risky thing to do, or because you thought you could _live_ with it, because it'd make _someone else_ happy?"

Caleb huffed and closed the magazine. Come to think of it, he had no idea. And once, it didn't matter any, because making other people happy made him happy, too. When had that changed?

"It doesn't make you selfish to want things because you want them," Lilith said. It was almost like she'd read his mind, but of course she had. This was Lilith, and she was his best friend before he even knew who Morgyn Ember _was_.

"I never want things because I want them," Caleb said.

"I know," Lilith said. "And that's why I think you should, this time. Think about yourself for once. I think it's long overdue that you do, and it's okay to need things that Morgyn can't give you. It's not your fault, or Morgyn's. It just is."

Caleb shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe Morgyn needs things I can't give him, either," he said.

Lilith looked surprised. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

"I don't know for sure," Caleb answered. "It just seems like, I say the wrong thing more than I did before. And Morgyn doesn't seem to tell me everything anymore. Like there are parts of Morgyn I don't know, but there are parts of me that Morgyn doesn't know, either."

"You think you're not as close as you were?" Lilith asked.

Caleb made a face. "Kind of?" he said. "We don't seem angry with each other anymore. We just also don't seem as close as we used to be. I still don't want to lose Morgyn as a friend, I just don't feel like Morgyn means the same things to me as before."

Lilith was quiet a moment, and then shuffled out of the closet to sit down next to him. "Isn't that upsetting?" she asked. "You've been chasing Morgyn for so long, it seems strange to suddenly let go."

"Yeah," Caleb said. "I think that's why I didn't want to let go. Because I had spent so long chasing Morgyn. Maybe I'd spent so long chasing Morgyn, I never figured out that Morgyn isn't what I really want."

Lilith thought about it, for a long moment, and then reached over and took his hand. "What now?" she asked.

Caleb shrugged. "Don't know," he said. "I'm the one that asked Morgyn to marry me. Seems kind of rude to change my mind suddenly. I keep hoping Morgyn's impulsiveness will manage to get him to dive into things with Liberty and it'll be easier, but so far, it seems like no dice."

Lilith sighed. "I think you're going to have to talk it out."

She was probably right. It didn't make it any easier.

* * *

"There's a _lot_ of floor space," Cassandra said, tapping the phone screen. "Plenty of room for you to manoeuvre around with your leg brace, or in a wheelchair. Mayor will be pleased at how big the backyard is, I think. There's a pool with a deck, we can have pool parties, and it backs right up to the water. Could go down there whenever we want."

It was, of course, amazing, Ezio decided, flicking through the pictures they'd come home with. This not so little house on the sea was perfect, and clearly some thought had been put into choosing it. Ezio would be surprised, but Kassander never seemed to _dis_ like him, at least. And maybe in some sense, they were the same. Kassander had given up a lot to save those that mattered the most, just like Ezio had.

Heck, they'd both _independently_ invented vampirism through magic, simply because they didn't want to lose someone they loved.

"It has a really nice kitchen, too," Cassandra went on. She almost seemed excited about it, but then, she'd grown up wealthy. It wasn't too much of a surprise. This place was more along the lines of what she was used to.

Ezio, Morgyn, and Drake, they'd spent most of their lives living in magic realm. They were used to this kind of space, but it wasn't _exclusively their_ space, either. It'd be strange, to have all that space suddenly, and have it all be theirs. It was strange even now, trying to imagine it.

Their lives could've continued onward unchanged and undisturbed, if he'd just... but then, he knew better than most, that even if he'd _wanted_ to, he wouldn't have been able to just let a lightning bolt hit Morgyn. Protecting Morgyn was what he was made to do, and no one could say he didn't try to, never mind he _did_ love the dumb ass.

But why should he, anyway? What exactly had Morgyn ever done for him in return? Nothing. Morgyn was just constantly making trouble that Ezio had to go and fix. Maybe Ezio had things he wanted to do with his life. Maybe he had his own problems. How was this fair?

Very little in life was fair. Ezio knew that better than some. And still, just once, he wanted to live because he wanted to live, not because being a part of Morgyn gave him no other choice.

"Ezio?" Cassandra asked. "You're crying, are you okay?"

Ezio handed her phone back, and then reached up and brushed his tears away. "Yeah," he said. "Just, a little overwhelmed." He should've stayed dead. Because now he was just an inconvenient burden, and he'd never be anything else.

Drake stood up, settling down next to him. Cassandra turned her phone off, setting it on the floor, and then settled down on the other side of him, and hugged him.

"It'll be okay," she said. "I think you'll like the new house, and maybe it'll be good for us all, really."

Ezio didn't say anything, at first, and then leaned against her and though he tried not to end up a teary mess again, the tears slipped out anyway. "M'sorry," he said.

"No, Ezio no," Cassandra said, hugging him a little closer. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for."

"Nothing at all," Drake added, resting against his back and laying his head on Ezio's shoulder. "We love you, very much, you know that right?"

Yeah, and right now they loved a useless drain. Ezio almost wished, even for a fleeting second, that he'd been too slow, and the lightning bolt had hit Morgyn anyway. That it was _Morgyn_ sitting here, and not him. And then he hated himself for it, and the tears suddenly broke loose before he could shove them back down.

Drake shifted around behind him, holding onto him tighter. Ezio took one of his hands, and leaned against Cassandra. He hated this. He hated how angry he was now, he hated how much that anger hurt, he hated that he'd started to resent Morgyn and yet he knew there was no other outcome to this that made any sense. He was tired of it already, but maybe he'd always been a little angry about it. About how much he'd given up and lost because Morgyn needed him.

Maybe it wasn't fair of him to feel the way he did, but he felt it all the same. And even if he wished he didn't, there was no pretending that he didn't, or shoving it under a rug and acting like everything was exactly as it'd always been, because nothing was the same, and everything had changed.

He wanted to go back to France. Right there at the tail end of it, and go anywhere but to magic realm. Morgyn wouldn't ever go looking for him, anyway, and he could've taken the chance to run away somewhere and never go back. To live whatever life it was he wanted without Morgyn and Morgyn's shit getting in the way of it.

And he hated himself for that, too.

He didn't want to put any of that into words. So, he didn't, just clung to Cassandra and Drake and cried. For everything he'd lost and would never get back. For the Ezio he could've been and would never be. For the boy he used to be that had died in France all those years ago. And for the broken, angry mess that he was now.

* * *

Nothing had changed, save perhaps for how empty it felt here, now. The ghosts were still around, Morgyn could sense them, somewhere beyond headquarters, but Morgyn didn't pay them any mind right away. Later, the sage would set up a little shrine for them as thanks for the help during the fight with Sarnai.

For now, Morgyn glanced around the place, noting the layer of dust over everything, the light filtering weirdly through the glass roof way up there. The candles in the entryway had stopped floating at some point.

Morgyn waved a hand, the magic pulling the candles back up into the air, and lighting them too. Then, the brunet lit the fireplaces, and bustled around fixing the things that were broken during the fight with Sarnai, cleaning what had gone dusty in the absence of life.

Fortunately, it'd seem the vortex hadn't gone any further than before while Morgyn, Simeon, and L were gone. But of course, Morgyn was the only sage left, now. And now, maybe, was the time Morgyn needed to make the choice between staying in magic realm and trying to handle this alone, at least until the All felt like assigning new sages to replace Simeon and L, and going back to San Myshuno.

If nothing else, for now, taking care of the realm and cleaning up headquarters was the perfect excuse to take a break from everything that was going on. Morgyn could barely stand to be around Ezio right now, either. Ezio needed Morgyn, maybe now more than ever, but Morgyn wasn't even enough for _Caleb_. The sage couldn't imagine being enough for Ezio.

Never mind, it was Morgyn's fault that Ezio was in this position, directly _and_ indirectly. Ezio had every right to hate Morgyn. Morgyn hated Morgyn, too. For not knowing how to hurt Ezio any less, either.

Ezio, Caleb, even Liberty, they deserved better from Morgyn than this. But the sage didn't know _how_ to do better. Maybe it would be best, if Morgyn stayed here, the lone sage watching over magic realm, for however long the All deem Morgyn be. At least here, alone, Morgyn couldn't hurt anyone anymore. That seemed to be the only thing Morgyn could do, now, was hurt people, and the brunet had never wanted to.

Whether Morgyn wanted to or not was moot. The fact of the matter was, Morgyn still was hurting the people that the sage cared the most about. And until Morgyn had dealt with whatever it was that was wrong with the idiot, that Morgyn couldn't _stop_ , the brunet would stay here.

The All's presence was quieter, the hum a little softer. Morgyn shuffled around getting the dust off everything, and then went into the green room to check on the plants. The ghosts must've taken care of them, because they seemed to be doing alright, by some miracle.

Morgyn turned to move to some other part of the building, passing a mirror on the way. And as the brunet stared at the mirror, Morgyn eventually raised a hand, and ran it through brown waves. The strands turned red. Morgyn's hand fell away. It looked very right.

As Morgyn watched the shimmer of reddish orange strands in the mirror, the sage became aware of someone else's presence. No one living, Morgyn didn't think. The sage still wasn't accustomed to dealing with the dead-that was _Ezio's_ thing-but also knew that ignoring a spirit that wanted your attention could be detrimental.

Instead, Morgyn turned around. Her hair was long and wavy black, eyes a dark brown, darkly coloured skin. But she smiled, and somehow it felt familiar, and like home. Morgyn's head tilted slightly, and almost asked, but as they stared at one another, she began to change.

Her hair shortened, her skin lightened, and then eyes just as green as Morgyn's stared back at the sage, from a face that looked so much like Morgyn's own.

Both hands raised to cover Morgyn's mouth. The woman reached out, almost like she intended to hug the sage, but then withdrew, looking a little saddened.

"Mama, I-"

"No," she interrupted. "I know you never expected me. But I've always been here, Morgyn, watching over you and Ezio. And now you can see me. You figured out who I am very quickly. Ezio hasn't just yet."

Morgyn was almost surprised the sage had figured that out before Ezio did, but then, Ezio had a lot to deal with, maybe more than even Morgyn knew. And maybe there was no sense in being upset about it, how different and apart they'd grown over time. It was good, wasn't it? That Ezio had a life that Morgyn didn't know?

Then, why did it hurt? Maybe it was just staring at their mother that made the sage's heart clench the way it did. Morgyn didn't know what to say. Maybe there was nothing to say at all.

And just like she had, Morgyn's hands fell and one reached for her. Then, Morgyn remembered, and moved to pull away, but Melanie held her hand out, and for a moment, their hands hovered next to each other's.

Melanie smiled. "Don't stay here too long," she said. "Ezio needs you, now more than ever."

Morgyn's eyes narrowed, watching their hands. "I don't want to hurt him anymore," Morgyn said. "All I seem to do is cause him more trouble and hurt him."

"And you think that this won't hurt him?" Melanie asked. "Ezio is important to you, and you'll only ever have one Ezio. Take care of the one you have. Even if you mess up sometimes, it's not like he doesn't understand."

Yeah, but he shouldn't have to understand. Morgyn sighed. "I just need to think," the sage said.

"Okay," Melanie answered, pulling her hand away from Morgyn's and hovering it next to the sage's cheek instead. "Then think. But go home, when you're done. You need Ezio. Ezio needs you. That doesn't change whether you're 270, 70, or 7."

Morgyn was quiet a moment, thinking. And then the sage drew a breath in. "Mom, what is he doing?" Morgyn asked. "There's something he's gotten into that I don't understand. Maybe you understand it."

Melanie shook her head, her hands falling to her sides. "Trying to save you," she said. "Just like everything else he does. But this time, I think, eventually, he'll need you to save him."


End file.
